Apologies for such a long post and hope I'm clear with my dilemma
Rik asked me to marry him in April , I said yes and we started discussing dates - we were initially lookin at an October wedding in 2012. Riks mum had a chat to me and asked if we'd be willing to move the wedding forward ( she's got cancer but is being treated- she has no more scheduled appointments and has been told she has 2 years) so Rik and I agreed next Sept/Oct would be ok.... then MIL2B asks can't you do it in the summer because I'm worried I won't be here ... I said ok tell me some dates you're thinking of and me and rik will let you know.... We agreed on 30th July - I love the sound of it , it doesn't clash with other peoples weddings/birthdays/anniversaries ect I've had that date in my head since April. Riks mum announced that 'you need to move the wedding date to the week before as FIL2B will be working she said it's not like you've sent any invites out yet so I can't see the problem! I asked can't he change a day off or take a holiday day -I was told no. He needs to save his days off 'just in case' I really didn't want to move the date and told Rik , who agreed really his dad should be able to re-arrange the day as its a year in advance. Unfortunatly his mum has taken it upon her self to tell Riks family in Australia that we've moved it to the 24th July (no idea where the date came from) and now they're emailing me saying they can't make it as they need to book the tickets well in advance....... I've now sugested we bugger off to gretna green - rik wasnt happy about that, he mentioned going to turkey to get married but when I quizzed him more he was like - oh I wouldn't get married there I was just telling you we could ! Grrrr My problem is I don't want to change the date - Riks mum is playing on her cancer a bit - I don't want to be told when we're getting married ...but maybe I'm being unreasonable - thats why I'm posting this .. what do you lovely ladies think ???
CommentAuthor~*~ Becca ~*~
i think you both need to sit down with his mum and ask her outright why she think its the 24th??
just explain that rik cant change or move any of his holiday dates that he has booked just now so its not goin to be a option for the 24th! ur fil2b will just have to get somethin sorted..but you dont appreciate her goin and announcing a date when a. its not been set in stone and b. that you've already mvoed the date forward for her and she should be blessed your doing this for her
rik needs to stand up for the both of you and agree with you on this..cancer or no cancer, it doesnt automatically give his mum the right to dictate when and where you should have ur big day xx
17.09.2010 ---I am officially Mrs Rebecca Mollins
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CommentAuthorluvlifejen (mrs berr
omg yes rik does need to put his foot down and say she was out of order announcing the date! i can understand you bring the date forward for her over the cancer issue but you seem to be accommodating for more than that!! she does sound like she is playing on it slightly. i think you have been more than accommodating so far hun xx
soon to be Mrs Berry 26.11.2011
CommentAuthorsabs
I think your MIL2B is taking advantage of the situation you have already change your dates to suit her and its unacceptable that she is emailing people telling them when you wedding is just because she wants it that date. Don't let her guilt you into doing anything you don't want otherwise your going to be miserable on what is yours and H2Bs special day.
Im having a mid week wedding which meant that alot of people had to take time off work and also travel to Ireland for it and not one person other than my mam moaned about it. If people want ypou to be happy and care about your big day they will make the effort. Have you asked FIL2B can he change his day or is it just MIL2B dictating that he can't take time off.
Your not being unreasonable hun do it the way you want and H2B wants
CommentAuthorZoe Kay
thank you ladies ... H2B is gonna get back from work and spend an hour with me going over all this - and then he's gonna make me a nice dinner so we can chill out together ... as for MIL2B I've just got back from having a cuppa with her and she understood my upset and we're sorting it ot as a family :P Yey for me .. xxxx
I would send out some save the date cards make it offical and they may let you be you have been very flexible so far its time to put your foot down
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CommentAuthorZoe Kay
haha yeah I'll put the 30th july on them and say I sent them out by accident ;) heheh xx
CommentAuthorRachel
good news hun. stick by your decision not to change it your not being unreasonable at all x
CommentAuthorZoe Kay
thats what i thought rachel xx :)
CommentAuthorXLittleMissMe!X
I think she is using emotional blackmail on you to get her own way. Not being funny but a week doesn't change her cancer status and if you mean that much to them they can sort out a day off work. She has no right to tell other family members that your date is changing and you need to sit her down and talk to her about it. She may be going through a tough time but this is your day and should be how you want it.
