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Wedding Forum - Dream wedding ruined...

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  1.  
    • JustAMermaid
      CommentAuthorJustAMermaid
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
      edited
     
    hi

    I am new here. Was supposed to be getting married 2 years ago but due to family problems on his side and a bereavement, we had to postpone. we lost a lot of money and due to unforeseen circumstances the savings to pay for the rest got chewed up (long story) anyway, we stopped discussing the wedding for a while, i was too depressed and him burying his head in the sand and trying to sort a few family issues out...well basically we can no longer afford the wedding we had planned and paid for (stupidly we never had insurance so lost an awful lot). it would take a long time to save as he's now in different employment on much less wages as he was and i no longer earn and work as unable to due to being signed off indefinitely.

    due to health reasons (my health) we've decided to just have a quick last minute register office wedding, avoid all the hassle from his family and not tell anyone til after the ceremony (his family have caused so much problems, also his ex causing grievances and his adult sons whom can't get over the fact their dad and mum split up even though it was 15 year ago!!) they've made our lives hell but OH allows it (this annoys me so much as the stuff they've done and caused is unreal) he says they are his kids and he will never risk losing them but they never bother only to cause trouble and borrow cash and never repay, but that another story, i can understand he doesn't want to lose them as they're his flesh and blood but if it were my family he would've walked by now.

    basically were skint but my health isn't great, i was told years ago i wouldnt even live this long but luckily my health improved and we didn't want to dwell on it just wanted to be happy, hence the big wedding booked....obviously never happened..and unfortunately my health back on the decline.....but hopefully within the next 3 months we can get around to a quick register wedding with two witnesses and just a barbecue and drinks after (people will just think its a summer bbq they won't know until they arrive)
    problem is, i have a dress (one of the bridesmaids dresses that was left over) that fits me, it fits perfectly and its stunning, its just not white. i can't afford to get a wedding dress that i like and had planned on wearing and tbh i haven't the heart to go into wedding dress shops anymore or look online its heartbreaking for me now, but i don't want to waste this dress and was thinking maybe i could wear it but my aunt says its awful as its blush pink and not a wedding dress and laughed it off. i was taken aback as she's the only one other than my parents who is aware of our secret nuptials impending,my family told me to not bother getting married to someone who allows his sons to disrespect (again causing arguments) now I'm thinking of not wearing it but may regret not wearing a dress (this dress has sentimental value as its from the wedding we were meant to have, wedding dress hadn't been fully paid for so never got ). tbh me and OH just want to be married. were sick of the hassle and its cutting a bit fine that we may never be married at all. the other thing is if he tells his sons after there will be a huge argument and all hell will break loose or if he tells them they'll either put a stop to it or want to come. i don't want them there, they've made it clear I'm dead to them already and i can't take any silly threats and remarks off them.

    i honestly don't know what to do :( do i just take the plunge and wear a pink bridesmaid dress as a wedding dress and make it the best day of my life with the only person I've ever loved in a register office and think screw anyone else and their opinion? or wear normal clothes and regret it or just not bother getting married, its not the wedding i am wanting and dad won't be there to walk me down the aisle but as long as I'm married to him should it matter?. so stressed.
  2.  
    • Tiffany
      CommentAuthorTiffany
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Firstly welcome to the website hun.

    I'm so sorry you can not have your dream wedding and for all the hassle and stress you have had/are having. I think the dress sounds beautiful!! (one of my wedding colours) Screw what everyone else thinks, you're the one wearing it not them and it is yours and your h2b's day.
    Getting married to the love of your life is the main thing, everything else is just a bonus. Do what makes you and your h2b happy. I know its easier said then done but try not to stress, it will only make your health worse.
    Tbh it sounds like his kids need to grow the hell up and get over themselves. If they can not be happy for their father than its just tough luck. I wouldn't want them their either. I have a stepchild and his dad would never allow him to treat me like that.

    Hope you get it all sorted and have an amazing day! Even if it is just the two of you with your witnesses and then you go straight on your honeymoon.

    Sending hugs
  3.  
    • Elinor Claire
      CommentAuthorElinor Claire
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Welcome to the UKBride family Justamermaid. You've answered your own question I think. You clearly want to wear the blush dress so wear it, and I'm sure you will look beautiful. It's a shame it all went wrong and you lost so much money, but you can have an amazing day on very little money.

    Members signature icon
    30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
    It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.

  4.  
    • MichelleC961
      CommentAuthorMichelleC961
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Hey - welcome

    Yep agree with the girls- screw everyone else, thus is all about yiu now- sounds like everyone else has had an input and now yiu deserve a special day :-) xx

    Members signature icon



  5.  
    • AnikaM60
      CommentAuthorAnikaM60
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Wear the dress. You will look beautiful in it and when you look back at the pictures you wont have regrets
  6.  
    • DianaP73
      CommentAuthorDianaP73
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Agree with all other comments! It's your day, do whatever floats your boat! And not all brides have white dresses, many cultures have coloured dresses and many women don't feel like wearing white. I looked terrible when I tried on white dresses so ended up with a cream/champagne one. Just enjoy your day and focus on your own happiness! Best of luck!
  7.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I agree with the others. It's your day so wear what you want to. Don't listen to those trying to get you to wear anything else x

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

 

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