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Wedding Forum - Dreading the wedding...

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    • Ashleyh
      CommentAuthorAshleyh
      Getting married in 9 months
      Posted: Dec 11th 2021
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      edited
     
    My partner and I have been together for about 8 years, engaged for 5. He's my best friend and I'm really excited about being married to him but not looking forward to having a wedding at all. We just booked our ceremony at a local registry office and chose the cheapest option possible ( I really didn't want guests but my OH wanted his parents there).

    The rough plan was to just elope then have a Halloween party with friends. His family are lovely but they've already started asking questions, " Why didn't you pick something bigger, is it money?" " We can pay for a reception party for family". People just don't seem to understand that we don't have a need to be extravagant/ want lots of fuss. I feel like others are more interested in keeping up appearances and showing off that their relative is getting married rather than wanting to support the relationship. I hate all of the fakeness and how obsessed other people seem to be with our choices. Some of his relatives have even asked if they can invite friends ( who neither of us have ever met?) to the event that hasnt even been planned or approved of by us.

    It's almost like they're trying to feel better about their own choices by governing ours to be the same/similar. ( keeping up appearances and conforming to things just to fit in).

    Im sort of just going along with this but secretly wish that you could just tick a box online that made you married, I am confident but hate being the focus in the room and my OH is also introverted. My OH's mother is a photographer and I also really don't want her taking photos of me, I dont know if i'm being selfish but to me it feels as though it is my body/my wedding/my relationship so it should be my choice? I cant see this going down well at all but feel like we should be able to celebrate our day how we want to without the judgement of others. If there are photos i'd like them to be taken by myself and my partner as a reminder of OUR day, not lots of gushing posts online for the approval of strangers/distant relatives.

    Part of me is even thinking about cancelling the wedding if people continue to get too involved. I haven't been able to find any other brides who have felt like this so its been difficult to find advice online. There's no issue at all with our relationship/me wanting to marry him. It is purely about the wedding itself and others overstepping the line.

    We haven't planned anything yet other than booking the day, I was actually looking forward to hosting a halloween party at a local venue and i'm looking forward to my hen-do. I just am not sure how to plan any of this as the wedding itself has made me feel really disheartened. We have no budget at all for the reception and we're located in Kent
 
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