Hi all Ive had a really stressed out weekend. I have had to drop my fiance's sister as a bridesmaid. She turned up where my fiance works on saturday and was chatting to him then went on this huge rant about how much she hates me etc. It really upset my fiance as some of the things she said were so foul that it made him physically sick. Of course she waits until she knows my fiance is being considered for a promotion to do this. Her reasons for hating me? Apparently because i shout at fiance's brother's kids (not true, even asked bil and he said it was a load of twoddle) and that I shout at my dog..... apparently having to raise my voice when she is barking counts as animal abuse...... None of these things are any of her business in the first place. I am not mad about the things she said about me as i have had an inclination that she wasnt being genuine with me. What i am mad about is that she could have ruined her brother's career, and that he was so stressed out about it afterwards he had a nosebleed that lasted nearly half an hour and left our bathroom looking like a crimescene. He lost so much blood he nearly fainted.
Well ive told my fiance that his sister can no longer be a bridesmaid, i am not having someone in my wedding party that hates me and doesnt respect me or the relationship between me and fi. He is sad about it but understands. I am also going no contact with her as i am sick of her getting bored, or thinking she isnt getting enough attention so she goes out to cause drama or tries to sabotage someone else's life. Fiance's family is disgusted with her and her other brother has told her to stay away until she grows up and starts acting like a mature person for once in her life. But other than her brothers no one else will hold her accountable for her actions, apparently i am the bad guy for sticking up for myself because i should know that she didnt mean it because she is pregnant and hormonal. Since when did being pregnant give someone a licence to make everyone around them miserable and treat people like dirt? I am waiting to hear what my fi has to say before i send her an email telling her she will only be coming to the wedding as a guest and thats only if her brother says he wants her there. I am sad that i will probably never get to know my future neice or nephew, but not overly much as she has already informed me that i would not be allowed to hold the baby because i am not family.
CommentAuthoralmost a year wife!!
hun I wouldn't even have her as guest.....
tell her foff.
Ill marry my hero
CommentAuthorJoannaS
def tell her to foff what a bitch!
CommentAuthorLeanneP98
if i had my way i wouldnt as i dont trust her not to do something to ruin the wedding, but family is really important to h2b and the thought of not having his sister there on his wedding day breaks his heart. I can put up with her on the day as long as she engages her brain and keeps her mouth shut. i think its a fair compromise. I want nothing to do with her, but i wont make h2b chose between me and his sister.
I just dont get what her motivation is. Did she think h2b was going to ditch me because she doesnt like me? or more likely she wanted us to argue and call off the wedding so she could get married first.
CommentAuthorJoanna
This is awful. It's so sad the way weddings can bring out the worst in people. Is she jealous do you think?
The greatest thing you'll ever learn
is just to love and be loved in return
<3
I really do think so. jealous that h2b is doing better than she is, jealous that we are getting married before she is, jealous that i get along with most of the family without any problems. I could go on and on and on
CommentAuthorDecember
You're doing very well in balancing your feelings with your H2B, you should be proud of the way you're handling things with him in mind.
Can you put the other brother on sister watch for the day? If he understands how she is would he be willing to keep an eye and extract her if she starts to cause issues?
CommentAuthorLeanneP98
as ive been saying to my h2b when it come to his sister my give a damn is broken. I know he wishes i would just yell at her an then sweep it under the carpet, but that is what she wants, my to play the role of the villian so she can tell everyone how mean i am to her and pretend she is the victim then get everything swept under the rug without any consequences for her actions
CommentAuthorJoanna
That's such a shame that she's been like this
The greatest thing you'll ever learn
is just to love and be loved in return
<3
CommentAuthorLeanneP98
I know to be honest i was never that fussed about having her as a bridesmaid becuase of her behaviour in the past. Demanding to be maid of honour (how about no?) Waiting until the rest of my bridesmaids had agreed on a dress then throwing a tantrum because it was too short (tea length) trying to get me to buy her a different dress so she could tell everyone she is moh then trying to blackmail me into changing the dress to the ons she liked but the other girls really hated.
CommentAuthorJoanna
I definitely wouldn't have her a bridesmaid. I wouldn't want anything to do with her after the way she's been acting x
The greatest thing you'll ever learn
is just to love and be loved in return
<3
CommentAuthorLeanneP98
exactly why im going no contact. H2b is free to see and talk to her whenever he likes, i would never try to come between them, but i guarantee she will complain to anyone who will listen about how i wont let h2b see his family etc even though she knows that he works on the weekends when she allows visitors
CommentAuthorJoanna
Just try and ignore her if you can x
The greatest thing you'll ever learn
is just to love and be loved in return
<3
CommentAuthorLeanneP98
i will try my best. thanks for letting me vent. i really dont like to talk negatively about h2b's sister in front of him as i know it hurts him. On the bright side bil has given me permission to verbally kick his little sisters backside over this and he hopes i knock her down a peg or twenty lol
CommentAuthorWhovianbride
omg thats so aweful , atleast you have the support of your fiance and his brother and they all know its a load of rubbish! i so feel for your fiance, all the extra stress is not good, especially when work and wedding planning is stressful enough as it is!
Met June 2009 on my Birthday,Met again July 2009 and got
together, May 2010 Moved in,Jan 2011 got pregnant,
August 2011 Got our own place, 2011 Had our Baby Girl,
Dec 2011 Got engaged, July 2015 Getting married! Yay!
CommentAuthorGemmaP11
I wouldnt even want her at the wedding!! She sounds a nightmare! I feel for you! Keep going strong. Hopefully she'll grow up soon x
CommentAuthorbumblebumble
I don't understand why these people are like this!!!!!
What the heck?! eugh tell her to do one and move on - she doesn't deserve and extra second of your time!! xxxxxx
x Keeley x
CommentAuthorMrsWright290912
Good riddance to bad rubbish!
I really did marry my Mr Wright and we had a nice day for a
Wright wedding!
Mexico for our first anniversary <3
CommentAuthor*The NewMrsMalin*
If your h2b wants her as a guest then leave it at that but you shouldn't have to tolerate that kind of behaviour; so by saying it is because she is pregnant; implies that anyone who is pregnant turns into a monster and a bitch; sorry but no.
Plus to make her own brother that ill is horrible. I'd stay well clear of her :S
Met in 2009
Got together on12th May 2011, proposed on the 12th May 2013
When you get knocked down; smile and pick yourself up again!
Fight for what you believe in!
CommentAuthor~Beauty&TheBeast2Be~
My parents actually preferred me pregnant, app i wasn't half of the stubborn muppet i am not preggerz haha. You can't just blame hormones. I agree jealousy is behind this. Is she married herself? Has her partner said anything about it all? She's another one trying to make the day about her. I feel so sorry for your partner, not having her there may cause problems in the long run, with other family members being funny about it, so consider her as a guest perhaps? x
*..Embrace Your Dreams..*
~We're All Mad Here~
CommentAuthor*KelBel*
My god...what a nasty piece of work!
Velcro...my wedding day twinny! The Two Kel's!
Got engaged 14/10/12 in Central Park NYC!
Became Mrs Macdonald 13th September 2014
Mummy to 4 girlies and baby blue boy Due 10/05/2016
CommentAuthorLeanneP98
ive never had any problem with her being a guest as long as she grows up and acts with a bit of class. Of course i rather she not be there at all but i think with 250 guests coming to the evening do i can pretty much ignore her, especially as my other sil (bil's wife) has kindly offered to be on brat duty and send her packing if she kicks off, thats not even considering what her gran would do to her if she tried to ruin the day. Ever since she found out she was pregnant she has used it as an excuse for her terrible behaviour. I had to remove her posts from my news feed on facebook becuase everyday it was oh woe is me i am pregnant, feel sorry for me, or my family doesnt love me because they wont drop everything to make a three hour journey to sit in my living room for 15 minutes until i get bored and tell them to leave sob sob. literally everyday. But i have blocked her from my facebook (just waiting for her flying monkeys to descend telling me how im a horrible person because i upset her by sticking up for myself.)
CommentAuthorVelcro
I wouldn't have her there at all. family being important is irrelevant, it obviously isn't important to her and there is no way H2B would have someone at our wedding who did that to me no matter WHO it was.
shocking behaviour.
Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
*Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
CommentAuthorRachaelC84
Hiya, I know exactly how you feel, I had bridesmaids, 1 was my husbands 15 year old daughter who has been jealous of me from the day me and her dad met, it is so visible. I asked her to be bridesmaid as thought we could get close after all she is going to be my step daughter. Throughout the planning she disliked everything the colour scheme, the dress. My husband said why are you been rachs bridesmaid if you hate her so much and she said it was for him. After arguments and discussions we decided to still have her as a bridesmaid as this was 3 months before wedding and dresses etc had been arranged. But I knew she was interested in been there for me. I told my husband put her in a suit and let her be there for you. The second bridesmaid my cheif bridesmaid was a total let down, she let me down with everything from the word go, she missed appointments she even let me down on my hen party after I had paid 180 for her to go, unfortunately a close family member passed away the week before the wedding and she told me she was going to let me know the day before the wedding if she felt up to it. I just could not accept that, I know it is unfortunate for her to lose a member of her family but I just couldnt have her letting me know the day before, I told her I thought it was best if she wasn't bridesmaid her head was all over the place, she has since fallen out with me and been funny with me, I had a week to get my other friend into her dress, the dress was an 8 andmy friend a 12 ahhhh I found this amazing seamstress who managed to get her into the dress, I am so glad I decided to do what I did. You only get married once and if she had not messed me about from the beginning I would have probably been a bit more understanding. Bridesmaids are a total nightmare!!! My 3 year old and 3 year old pageboy were brilliant and I can't thank my friend enough for standing in at such short notice. You do what your heart tells you it's your day and don't give a **** what anyone else thinks.x
CommentAuthorLeanneP98
thanks for all the replies. I am actually quite relieved that she is no longer in my wedding party. I have been having nightmares about what she could do to ruin the day which include showing up wearing the same wedding dress, objecting to the marriage and making a speech about how she will give us 6 months before we divorce.
CommentAuthorbendy_jendy
Ditto.....but I have to put up with my OH brother interfering and bad mouthing our relationship. Saying I'm with him for all the wrong reasons...baring in mind we have been together 8 years and 8 years later he still has issue's. And because I had ago a him regarding it..I'm now the bad one and none of my OH family speaks to me or ask my OH how I am?! My OH brothers get married next year and I said I'm not going..cause of the issue's we now have to deal with, we are considering getting married abroad x
CommentAuthorLeanneP98
i wish we could get married abroad but as i have such a large family it just wouldnt be fair, especially as our wedding will be the first in the family for several years (i think i was 7 the last family wedding i went to)
Any how got some good news. nutjob sil hasnt managed to damage her brothers career prospects as he has been invited to attend an interview tomorrow. Hopefully he will get the position (ive been told he was the only applicant so pretty sure he'll get it but you never know) If he gets this position he will have increased hours but also a set rota, made four weeks in advance unlike where he is now when he doesnt know what he will be working that week until he shows up for work on monday, and often they forget to give him finishing times, the down side is the store has a bad reputation and it has been held up several times (hence why h2b was the only one to apply)
CommentAuthoralmost a year wife!!
:)
Ill marry my hero
CommentAuthorSamanthaB46
edited
I have a similar problem, My dad has made it very clear that he doesn't really want to attend my wedding but the only reason he is going to, is to stop other people from talking. I have no idea how I am going to deal with it, so I can understand how your H2B feels Leanne. I agree with what you said about her coming as a guest for your H2B's sake, my OH has been amazing I know how hard it has been for him not to say anything to my dad but he has managed to keep a lid on it for my sake so far. I too have had horrid dreams that my dad will 'kick off' on the day, and I know this will be the final straw for my relationship with him. I think that your H2B has been truly blessed to have you with the way you have dealt with this horrible situation, am im sure, as I am with my OH, he is grateful for your support. I wish you the best of luck with this situation. If you would like to talk more then email me. xx
CommentAuthorLeanneP98
Got great news. H2b got the promotion! much to his current manager's dismay.
