I'll do my best to give an objective view of what's going on.

When we originally sat down and chose our WP we chose the people we thought loved and cared enough about us to want to get on board to help with planning etc etc. Our WP is scattered all over the show - my MOH is currently serving in Afghanistan, Best Man is in Central London, 3 of our Ushers are only 15 minutes away, another Usher is in Basingstoke, one of my FGs is in Ilford. As you can imagine, trying to co-ordinate anything is a nightmare (I thank the Lord for introducing me to emailing lol) So far they're all doing a great job with helping..........well, all except 1 of them.

She lives about 15 minutes away and is Ross' cousin. To start with anyone would think it was HER getting married, she was over every weekend, had loads of ideas, really wanted to be an active part of the planning. Then she moved in with her chap and slowly but surely we started to hear less and less from her, I've seen her twice since March, she doesn't return texts or messages anymore, basically she's just disappeared. Ross has just had his 30th birthday and we doing something for him, invited her and she said no straight away. We then invited her to Honey's birthday bash (next weekend) and again she said no straight away. Asked if she could come over at all, she got her diary out, flicked through it and said "How's the weekend after New Year?"
BUT
She has plenty of time for the rest of the family - she sees MIL at least once a week, she goes over to see another family member on a regular basis, she takes weekends to go to Manchester to see her sister (understandable) and she's planning a trip to London to go and see Dean (Best Man, Ross' brother)
It feels like she's been avoiding us ever since her and her chap had a bust up and we helped him out a bit - we told both of them we were there if they needed us but because he'd come to talk to us first she wouldn't come to us for help.

We need someone who is reliable and trustworthy to help us out up here ESPECIALLY given that in 3 weeks the baby's due and we need all hands on deck. The rest of the WP are doing what they can from where they are and it's really irking both of us that if someone who is in the middle of the Afghan desert can take half an hour a week out to do a bit of research then why can't a family member who lives 15 minutes away do the same.

It's tough - we'd 'sack' her but it's only going to give MIL something else to complain about but we're getting sick of treading on eggshells so the family don't b1tch off at us (again!!)
I'm not sure whether we should just ask "Look H, this is one of the most important days of our lives, do you want to support us or not?" or whether we should just leave things as they are, say nothing and not give her as much credit as the rest of the WP on the day.

HELP!!!!!! :S
(sorry for the eye melter posting lol)
xxx

I think one of us is going to have to speak to her, it's the getting hold of her to speak to her that's going to be the interesting part :S
Thanks petal xxx

I would have a we'd with her Hun see what's happenin she not bein very nice to u xxx

It's best to give her chance to explain herself first, there might be something going on that you don't know about? But if it's really just that she can't be bothered now that she's got herself a man then she's not worth the effort! She'll probably cause you more hassle than she'll help with. It sounds harsh, but it;s your day and you're the ones that should be enjoying everything and not worrying about 1 member of the WP.

Z x