Wedding Forum - Don't Know What To Do.....

wow what a hell of a ride to hell and back you have all been on, firstly congratulations on a niece. secondly concentrate on helping your sister and niece get well soon and like u said bac on her feet, i really hope they both have a full recovery. thirdly when this is settled abit more she needs to see about puttin a claim in as this is out of order sendin a baby home without a check up is totally bang out of order, and for them not to know in your sisters notes the problem she has is inexcusable and for her to be sent home been in the pain she is in.

try keep strong and help get them threw this dont cacel the wedding just give it a few weeks to see how things progress then take it from there as to weather to postpone or cancel x

aww so sorry chick hope they get better soon!! xxx

It's been the worst few days of our life's, it's horrific.

She's been in hospital since sunday and only got an x-ray this afternoon, it's like they didn't want the x-ray to be done so we didn't get answers that prove they caused the problem. My sister told them her pelvis didn't seem right but they gave her pain killers, put her in a wheelchair and sent her home, it wasn't until the pain killers wore off she really knew something wasn't right. Her midwife came round that morning, took one look at her and said she needed to be at hospital asap, then went on to take a look at the baby and got straight on the phone for an ambulance. Lola was orange! Midwife said she should of never of been let home especially because of the labour, she had the cord round her neck 4 times and it was a dry birth, there wasn't any fluid left in my sister so she was open to infection and this is exactly what's happened.

It's just so bad and I can't think straight. The wedding is the last thing on my mind, I just can't imagine doing it without my sister walking down the aisle with me and we don't know how the baby will be. She's not been awake since sunday :-(

Stress stress stress

Nope, she's just sleeping. She woke up this morning for about 5 minutes but she was having her blood taken so I expect that's why. She's just so tired and weak, it's horrible. She's 4 days old and been through so much already. She's with her mummy now but still under the care of NICU, so put them both in a side room together so they can treat her and not disturb other mums!

awww bless! thats a gud sign tho hun!!! and side room is gud!

She is a right little fighter, she's amazing and so beautiful. My sister is so brave I don't know how she's coping. I've been a wreck and had no sleep since it happened and not eaten, I've lost 8lbs lol

Since she went into labour wednesday, so nearly a week! Only good thing that;s come out of it is me losing weight lol

what a dreadful situation to be in Melody....your poor family! Sending best wishes and all the positive and healthy vibes possible! x

How awful :( Thoughts are with all of you and wishing both your sister and lola a speedy(ish) recovery xx

Sounds like its been a very hard week! I hope everything gets sorted out and your sister and her baby get better! I agree with Emsy, I would wait until things become a little clearer and you can judge how things are going before making a decision on the wedding.

I agree with Emily wait for a few weeks. Sending you , the girls and all your family so much love, thinking of you all xxxxx

Your poor sister, big hugs to you all & hope her and baby get well soon. xx

Thanks everyone, your messages mean alot.

Lola was taken out of her incubator yesterday and we were all over the moon but only couple of hours later she was back in it again and we felt awful, she's been taken out again this evening and is a cot but we're worried she'll be back in again :-( it's hard to get our hopes up!

She took 30mils of milk through a tube into her stomach without being sick which is awesome! But she still hasn't woke up still, the nurse reckons it's the antibiotics making her weak. Still no sign of her lumber puncture results though

My sister has been alot happier this evening, having Lola in her room has really helped but she hates not being able to get out of bed and change her nappy etc but she has loads of help. She's been given morphine tonight to help her sleep and the midwifes on ward will see to Lola.

Doctor came round this evening and said the pelvis has literally split in half :/( now trying to decide if an operation will help and whether she will get control of her bladder and bowels back, they can't work out why a pelvis break would do that, so it's all still very confusing!

Weddings on hold, we aren't going to cancel but we won't book anything else or even think about it for the next month or so, just until my sister and the baby are home and then decide from there. They are all that matters at the moment, no one and nothing else.

xx

We've been documenting everything so we can get a case together. My other half spoke to the solicitor today and she thinks there is definitely a case to sue them with. Steve rang head of maternity services and complained that they hadn't done an X-ray yet and later that day a midwife from the ward had ago at my sister saying "we're doing everything we can for you stop complaining" so we won't do anything now, keep our mouths shut and complain when she's home! It's horrible she gas to stay there though, just wish we could mice her x

Oh goodness hun, thats soo sad! I hope mother and baby are on the mend quickly and back home as a family!

As for your wedding. Its still quite a way off yet and I think that you should not do anything too quickly. Give it some more time before you decide whether to postpone the wedding or not. Hope fully your sister and niece will be home before you know it!

Fingers crossed everything goes well for them! Let us know what happens hun!

Thinking of you and your family!
Lots of Love

As we are going through a medical negligence claim at the moment again over a birth but unfortunately it resulted in a maternal death my advise is to contact a solicitor now even if you dont end up taking this further as they can advise you of all the information you need to collect. It is also worth keeping a diary of events and detail the problems she had before the birth regarding her pelvis etc. It is easier to do when its all fresh in your minds. Take notes on who says what also. Hope they both get better soon xx

so sorry to hear your news. this hospital sounds awful. what hospital doesnt check over mum and baby before they go home? i agree with loubyscooby you need to speak to a solicitor and see what they say.

you still have a while to the wedding so maybe not make any more plans and see how your sister goes in the next 4-6 weeks and then make a decision on that.

xx

ok sorry its taken me so long to reply, iv been crying due to my own bad memories!

they have no right to have a go at her for complaining i suggest putting a sign on the door stating you are audio recording things and use a dicterphone to record with plenty of batteries. i would say not to tell them but unless they are made aware you cant use it as evidence in court, even if you put it on door, take a photo of it as evidence that they were warned then remove it from door.

as for lola, both my boys were severely jaundiced, xander my eldest was under the lights for ages then taken out and put back under it was changed every 6 hrs! but we argued for 3hrs straight with the head of peadiatrics to let us take him for a walk round the nearby park for a few hours to get him natural sunlight. they finally agreed and we took him for a walk , more to the point i held him whilst dean pushed my wheelchair. once he had natural sunlight he was fine! two weeks under their lights compared to 4hrs in natural light. worked wonders! he was able to go home providing we took him for tests everyday.

on the other hand, dante my youngest, had low sugar levels and was in hospital for two weeks in scbu. then they let him home for christmas and then he was rushed back in to childrens ward for another 2wks due to jaundiced, unfortunetly natural light made him worse, we nearly killed him by taking him home for christmas! dante had fortnightly checkups at hospital until he turned 1. he was a tiny baby at 7lb but very long and skinny, they accused us of starving him during his first year even tho he was on solids at 3months he was eating so much! so we were told he had to have prescription milk, which he threw up and when they finally told us at 9months to put him on solids he didnt want to know! he was really under the normal weight but looks like me and his uncle who have always been underweight til i had the kids. xander is stocky like his uncle on his dads side but they are both deans i swear lol.

both my kids recovered in different ways and they are complete opposites xander is white blonde dantes hair is jet black!

what im trying to say is that jaundice is treatable if after two weeks lola has not recovered ask permission to take her for a walk outside for an hour or so. it might help her more. as for her being sleepy this is completely normal for a baby with jaundice xander was lying there asleep and dean was lying on the bed with me watching him whilst still in hospital and he put on a song that really got to us both, its our song, aerosmith dont wanna miss a thing!

but definately keep ontop of the situation and complain as much as you like! they were negligant they cant afford to continue to be negligant as it will improve your case if they do! keep complaining to get what has been promised.

every test done on lola check the dates on the equipment! dantes guthry test card was a year out of date when they used it, i was told he was fine and fully protected until 2 days before his birthday when i received a letter from a bigger hospital that does all the testing telling me the above stating he was not tested of protected. when i took it to the paper they ignored it cos the editors baby was in the bed in scbu next to dante and they were given impeccable service!

glad they are both doing better today. she is adorable! and lola is a fab name! good news about your sister starting physio. prob the sooner the better.

keep us updated!! xx

she is adorable... and this will be a story to tell to her grandkids, she is improving daily and your sister is startin on her recovery. Things like this happen they shouldnt but they do, shes not the first and she sadly wont be the last, its shocking in this day and age of medicine, but there now gettin all the help and support they should be, keep up the fantastic work of supporting them both and before long u will be havin a HUUUUUUUUUUUUGE party to celebrate there home coming and an even bigger first bday party for her to celebrate how far shes come and that shes a lil fighter and will kick anyones ass into touch ;-).
hugs and kisses daily to you all and i hope things keep improving minute by minute xxx

Its just terrible - Glad that everything is slowly getting sorted - how is you sister??

katya no offence i am a nurse and i wouldnt want to be recorded! its an invasion of our privacy etc too!

awww she is gorgeous hunny! u wudnt think she was poorly in that first pic, wud of just thought she had that colour skin! glad shes gettin better! hope brace cums soon! can be a bit of a wait for them sumtimes! ure sister has a colostomy bag??? u sure u mean that?? a colostomy is a 'opening' after a bowel op on ure stomach

yes, once on my ward we had a lady doina complaint and she wrote down word for word wat doctor said to her! and then just kept makin notes evrytime1

The bag that goes inside her for her to wee lol I thought that's what it's called but yes that's what she has, she wets herself otherwise as she can't feel it.

Lola's infection level has gone up again, they aren't sure why and can't pin point what the infection is either. It's like everytime we have some good news, bad news follow :-(

Just so tired now and can't switch off!

awww big hugs!!!! maybe there are just rushin takin her out of incubator all time hun?? they tried a few times last day or so?