hey just feeling a little down at moment. i feel like my sister is trying to take my day from me. ever since i told her we was getting married shes always tried to do one better. when we told the family her reply was i got engaged first. then when we set the date and choose the place (a nice little local church) it like the place we choose wasnt right that we sud do big. also i was only havin one bridesmaid a friend from college as i cudnt afford more and i have 2 sisters and didnt want to choose and she wasnt happy but i agreed she sud be one if she helped with the cost of the outfit and she was happy but ever since it like its now her day. shes always lookin at things that she knows we cant afford and expects us to buy them cuz she likes them or so it seems to me. she come to a wedding fair with me the other day and she was there asking everyone for details before i cud even say anything. most of the things we looked at we have already got sorted and booked. all the time we was there she just kept telling them that she wud have her day planned before she leaves and that she would have the most expensive things that was there which made me feel like i was being cheap. i felt like i wasnt important. i no she doesnt like it that her baby sister (me 21 been engaged for just over a year and getting married her 29 and been engaged for almost 4 years and not set a date ) is getting married before her. i dont no if am just thinking about it the wrong way alittle to much but it really starting to get to me. do u think am taking it all the wrong way?
sorry about the very long rant :(
xXx Cant wait till am Mrs Lever xXx
26th August 2011 at 3pm
cant believe it .. less then 30 days to go !!!
CommentAuthorx ashlil x
no hun i dont. i would be very upset with her 2. keep smiling tho cos its you that is getting married soon not her :) xx
CommentAuthorMrsMac2B
Tricky one, on the one hand she is just trying to help out her baby sister and on the other its seems to me that she is trying to plan your day the way she would like her own. To be honest, and I obviously only know what you have wrote, I don't think she is being mean on purpose :) talk to her and explain how she is making you feel xx
CommentAuthorRhiannonollie
she is probably feeling a little jealous, and a little down, which I can totally understand because I used to feel that my big brother always got the best of life.
Explain to her that you really care for her and appreciate her help, but that it is your wedding, and you would love her support, and promise her that you will help her the way she wants help when her big day comes. Keep her positive about her own day and that way she wont try to control yours. (Hopefully)
is soooo happy and lucky
CommentAuthorXLittleMissMe!X
I think she isn't realising just how its making you feel. She is trying to be the big sister and helping you out by fantasising about what she would have and she would do. I'm sure if you sat her down and explained to her how it was making you feel that she would feel really bad about it. Sometimes people don't realise the things they are saying are hurting you. talk to her and get it out in the open. When its her day she can have what she wants but while its your day its your way. If she tells you that she likes something say to her you like it too but can't afford it so she can either pay for it for you or you will have to find something else together cheaper ;o)
By the way a smaller budget doesn't mean a poor wedding. I learnt that when I went to my friends wedding. It was amazing yet they hardly spent a thing. Its all about the people that are getting married and how happy they are which can get lost in the big OTT weddings.
It's whats made of the day - Its the memories that last forever not the flowers you pay for, or the cake or the music etc. love is all you need lol
is soooo happy and lucky
CommentAuthorJilly17
...it sounds as though she is a little jealous and thinking about how she would want things and imposing them on you. It is most certainly not about being 'cheap' as she is is living in a dream world when it comes to her wedding...we could all fantasise about the 'best' when we are just dreaming! Have a gentle chat and maybe try and keep her to giving opinions about her dress accessories etc where it actually involves her!
CommentAuthorFruity_pops
my sister is a complacated person really tho to get around because shes the oldest of 4 she always thinks she knows best because shes liven longer but if u put her right she the sort of person to stop talkin to u for ages untill it blows over. these already so much goin off with family and people arguing i dont want to start anything else.
i think she feels like she will never get married as she always says that she wouldnt marry the person shes with now unless he changes but hes been like this for years so thats not goin to happen soon (we all sed why u with some one u dont feel happy with and treats u with no respect but nothing) its a long story really just say partner treats her like c**p but no abuse. hes the sort of person that goes out drinking every night so she has to pay all the bills, buys all the food, even buys hes fags for the week. he doesnt even treat he son like his son (she has 3 kids only youngest which is his).
i do try involved her i have given her the responsability of choosing her own dress and invited her to go dress shopping when i went for mine and also to wedding fairs but even still she always telling me what i sud have when it comes to think that me and my h2b sud choose. i dont want a big wedding i just want it to be a happy day and have fun planning.
sorry long post again.... when i start i cant stop lol
xXx Cant wait till am Mrs Lever xXx
26th August 2011 at 3pm
cant believe it .. less then 30 days to go !!!
CommentAuthor'ca'ca'ca
shes your sister, so its tricky; shes not a friend you can blow off. Its very difficult; have you tried talking to your mum? shes probably been here before [herself or second hand] and might know how to deal with sister. if not, she will be able to listen and somtimes thats good enough? if that doesnt work, try talking to her yourself. take her out for coffee, somewhere public so she cant make a fuss, and just explain that you didnt mean to hurt her by any of this, and that although she didnt mean to hurt you, you are hurting by some of the things shes done, intentionally or not, and that you'd just like to explain what shes done and how it hurts, and ask her to change it. Explain that you're more interested in things being what YOU want than what society says they should be. Good luck, my love, good luck <3 x
CommentAuthorFruity_pops
thanks girls ....
i want to tell her but shes my sister she may drive me crazy at time but i still love and dont want to hurt her :S
xXx Cant wait till am Mrs Lever xXx
26th August 2011 at 3pm
cant believe it .. less then 30 days to go !!!
CommentAuthor'ca'ca'ca
talk to her. or write a letter. <3 x
CommentAuthorgreyarea
Im sure she is only trying to help when you go to fairs you could deligate her a job like flowers sort of like children in a supermarket lol
CommentAuthorUnknown
just try and explain how you feel to her. i know it will be hard but better than you getting stressed by it. my older sister is 8 years older than me and she always wants to take control of situations which is why i am not having her as a bm. i know she would do what ur sister is doing. she works for a travel company and she was really pressuring me to book with her company and go somewhere that she suggested. in the end i just went and booked with someone else! xx
CommentAuthorpennieb-MrsRiley
I'm the eldest of five siblings and my little brother and baby sister have both got married before me, and I have to admit that I did feel a little jealous because neither of them had been with their partners for more than a few months before they were planning their weddings. At the end of the day though, I was happy for them and especially with my little sister tried to do whatever I could for her - and I'm sure that she probably felt like you do, that I was trying to take over. Unfortunately, the big sister thing is deeply ingrained and we can't help clucking over the baby of the family as much s mum would - if not more lol. Speak to your sister - I'm sure that she's not intending you to feel this way at all and probably has no idea that she's upset you so much x
Now, finally, Mrs Riley
I hope you don't mind that I put down in words
How wonderful life is while you're in the world
I have the greatest husband!
CommentAuthorSteffie
I'd tell her, nicely that the ideas she has suggested for you are just not in your price range/cup of tea but you know that her wedding will be fab when they get round to setting their date and planning!!
When I've taken my friends out (as I dont have a sister) and they've said they like something/it should be in my wedding I just tell them, it's not the look i'm going for but I cant wait to help them plan their wedding! we laugh it off xxx
