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Wedding Forum - Does a Jacket really irritate that much?...

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  1.  
    • AmyH608
      CommentAuthorAmyH608
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: May 12th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    So without going off on a rant heres the short version lol;

    My FIL2B is refusing to wear the suits i have chosen for him, my dad and the best man (H2B is in uniform);

    I chose tails....... he said he wasnt happy to wear tails and i should have discussed it with him first! He says he will happily wear the other version of the same suit which isnt tails!

    I've said fine to this although i am really unhappy because it will look different to the others :(

    Has anyone else had this problem or think maybe i'm overreacting to it? (Been crying about it lol)!xx
  2.  
    • clairenina
      CommentAuthorclairenina
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: May 12th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    It's not up to me what my fiance and the men are wearing, my only input is that it fits the colour scheme.
  3.  
    • CommentAuthorFranM76
      Posted: May 12th 2014
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    I understand that you want everyone to match and all your photo's etc to be just so - but, if he's really against wearing something so much (maybe he feels silly or uncomfortable) then I honestly think people should be able to feel comfortable for the day. We were going to hire suits, then as my H2B rightly pointed out, it's a lot of expense when everyone can just wear their own suit - not really that fussed about whether they're all the same or not, as long as everyone has a great day and we can say our vows. Try not to get too upset about it, on the grand scheme of things it is only a minor hiccup hun - and at the end of the day, you and yr H2B are going to be the centre of attention rather than people noticing too much what the rest of the wedding party are wearing. Keep smiling xxx
  4.  
    • Elinor Claire
      CommentAuthorElinor Claire
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: May 12th 2014
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    I'm inclined to take his side actually, as it's him that has to wear it. We're not doing suits for the fathers, just H2B and best men, and H2B chose the jacket for the three of them. I think as girls we're not necessarily qualified to decide what style of suit the men wear, as we don't know what they're like to wear.

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  5.  
    • LauraK7
      CommentAuthorLauraK7
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: May 12th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I would be annoyed too especially about you should have discuses it with him when it's yours and h2bs wedding day not his'
    All my men are wearing the same in the bridal party x
  6.  
    • Showgirl
      CommentAuthorShowgirl
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: May 12th 2014
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    No you're not overreacting, I would be upset to. I want our boys to all be matching (all my BMs wearing the same as each other so the boys will be mathcing one another as well). I get that your Dad doesn't like tails but then would it really kill him to wear it for a few hours until the reception to make you happy? In fact as soon as the ceremony and photos are over the jacket can come off.
    If you want them all to match could you maybe drop the tails from the others as well?
    We haven't actually booked our suits yet - I found a place that has waistcoats and cravats in our colour scheme (its amazing how hard it was to find aubergine) and put down a deposit so now OH just needs to go in and choose the suit style he wants them all to wear. Once OH has done that we'll send the rest of the guys in to get measured but they will not have a say in what they're wearing. 3 of the groomsmen have already told us in a very disinterested way that they'll wear whatever we want them to and I know OH's Dad will wear anything (a man that owns 2 black tie suits) so the only objections (if any) would come from my Dad, step-dad or Grandad but its tough luck if they're not happy.
  7.  
    • JennK
      CommentAuthorJennK
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: May 12th 2014
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    I can understand why it's nice to have all the suits the same, but at the end of the day it's about enjoying your day, and if he is going to be I comfortable and grumpy it tails then it may be better to allow him to be un-tailed (so to speak!)
    I was pondering this yesterday and h2b did suggest the men just wear their own suits, it would definitely save cost, we shall see!

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  8.  
    • CommentAuthorFranM76
      Posted: May 12th 2014
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    I suppose at the end of the day it's down to you to have your wedding day however you want to - but the question is, do you want everyone to remember it as a fantastic, fun day where everyone is relaxed and happy to be there or to be remembered as a great wedding visually but people aren't quite comfortable and happy?? xx
  9.  
    • lala "mod" bunni
      CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: May 12th 2014
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    oh for heavens sake ... what is the difference between the jackets apart from the fact one is a tail coat .....he sounds like a 5 yr old stamping his feet and wanting his own way , this day is not about him but you two getting married,
    he needs to grow up and wear the jacket for a matter of hours then he can change ,

    my father NEVER wears black suits( not even to funerals but wore one to my wedding for no other reason than i asked him to, the men in the "wedding party" wore pink ties.. dad bought a black n white one to go with our theme which he had intended wearing all day .. in the end he wore the pink for the day then put the black n white one on for the evening.. the reason he did this was nothing more than putting my wishes in front of his own ( exactly what i will do for my children when thier weddings come )

  10.  
    • RachelE118
      CommentAuthorRachelE118
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: May 12th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I agree with lala (as always!!) but when we hired our suits they suggested the groom wear the tails, all others wear suits without tails to mark the groom out...otherwise he is really wearing the same as the best man etc... He seems to be being a bit unfair but honestly (and I'm a fine one to talk) it really isn't worth you being upset over.
  11.  
    • lala "mod" bunni
      CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: May 12th 2014
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    if you have any problems with him point him in my direction ........ he`ll be wearing tails and be happy about it when ive finished .


    lol thankyou Rachel x

  12.  
    • DonnaH39
      CommentAuthorDonnaH39
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: May 12th 2014
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    I think he is being childish and unfair as well, BUT it really isn't worth you getting upset about, don't let him ruin your experience of planning hun.



    I have to say though, we didn't consult anyone in the suit booking, we just booked them and everyone is happy to wear what we've booked.... in fact we ended up having to book extra's because my fiancé's brothers wanted to be in them as well (even though they didn't know what we'd booked yet)




  13.  
    • AmyH608
      CommentAuthorAmyH608
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: May 13th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Thanks for your opinions; and Lala i will defo send him your way lol!

    Like some of you have said he could of just worn them for the ceremony/photos and took the jacket off at the reception! I know some people may find certain things uncomfortable but surely for a few small hours on your only sons wedding day you'd put up with it!
    Now i've got over the initial shock of it, im laughing because at the end of the day like my dad said he'll be the one to look back in a few years and wish he'd of worn the same as my dad and the best man!

    Jeez if you cant make a small sacrifice for your own sons wedding what can you sacrifice! xxx
  14.  
    • GemmaR81
      CommentAuthorGemmaR81
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: May 13th 2014
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    Amy I hope that your future fil changes his mind and agrees to wear the tails. all the males in our wedding party will all be wearing kilts (same ones) and maybe different tops, but that is our choice for them. I know that my uncles always have a habit of getting through the ceremony and the wedding breakfast in their suits then immediately after they are in their normal clothes. It really annoyed one of my cousins new wife, she was really angry when they came back into the reception in casual trousers and shirt. I know that they will do this at my wedding but as long as they look smart I don't really care xxx




  15.  
    • AlisonM36
      CommentAuthorAlisonM36
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: May 14th 2014
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    Had the same problem. Dad really doesn't want to wear tails, think he would feel silly wearing it. So just the groom and best man will be in tails and the rest of the men will be wearing the same colour but just in a normal suit jacket style
    As long as the colours mach up, I don't think its too much of a problem. I'd rather people be happy and feel comfortable in what they are wearing. I am not 100% sure what colour waistcoats and cravats my hubbie has chosen so that will be a nice surprise on the day.
  16.  
    • AmyH608
      CommentAuthorAmyH608
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: May 15th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Thanks ladies :) FIL2B is wearing the slightly different jacket, i know that will make him more comfy on the day! If H2B was in the same then i would of had both dads in the same jacket and the groom and best man in tails but as H2B is in uniform i was just worrying his dad would look odd!

    But as we all know the day is about bride and groom so hey ho :) im over it now lol!! With 5 weeks to go i just need to worry everything else is in place :) exciting!!! xx
  17.  
    • CommentAuthorFranM76
      Posted: May 15th 2014
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    Aww glad you've got it sorted and you feel happier!! Aren't families and guests a nightmare at times lol xx
 
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