i think u need 2 sit down with h2b n explain how u feel n wat u want n see how he feels .abortions for sum people r a touchy subject (i had 1 wen i was younger n i realy regret it)but at the same time i wouldnt b with h2b now n hav 2 beautiful kids .can tell u love him n every1 agues now n then : )

I wonder this as well when we argue and its a horrid thought so I understand your concern.

At the end of the day I dont think u ever really know what life is going top bring ur way and what will be sent to test u or as a couple. Me & H2B dont really argue only because he refuses to but we bicker rather a lot about stupid things and big things but at the end of the day we always cuddle up together and that what its all about understanding each other and as long as you can cope with each others difference in opinions then u will be fine however if u dont agree and cant cope with OH opinions ten I would be concerned xx

I think every1 has 2 dissagree on things, thats wot makes us human. If my OH agreed with everything I did I wud seriously get bored! x

me and my oh have been together for 5 and a half years, we have had our ups and downs, we even broke up breifly for a week when we had been going out for 2 years but we couldnt bare to be appart. we argue sometimes, its natural, but then we always talk through it and work it out and have a cuddle after. i couldnt imagine spending my life with anyone else.
to be honest if my partner said anything like that to me i would be very miffed aswel, its not a very nice thing to say especially about your 'friends'. i dont agree with abortion, exept for certain curcumstances and what other couples do with there lives really isnt any business of anyone elses you should just be there as friends to support them. i can understand why your partner feels the way he does as just think if you did end up in the same situation as your friends, i personally would work through it and get through it with my partner rather than take the easy way out.
if you are having doubts you need to talk to your partner, that is the key to any relationship...communication. if you dont want children straight away then thats your decision as long as yur h2b is happy with that aswel then its got nothing to do with anyone else so it doesnt mater about wether its the right or expected thing to do at all! some people choose not to have children at all and other people cant have children x

aww hun talk to him!! i get like this with my other half sometimes i could kill him but deep down i no i could never be without him! sometimes stresses of a marriage can make u question everything i say 2 h2b OMG youll have 2 stick with me all ur life cuz we all have these crazy thoughts!! LOL xxx

I think you need a good chat as well, but tread carefullly. Its not nice to be told your OH is considering their postion...

You cannot agree about everything and as others have said unless you were in certain scenarios you cannot know how you would react and what course of action you would take.

I ocassionally have "imagine what my life would be like" moments where I wonder what would have happened had we split up, e.g. travelling the world etc. I always know I would rather have what I have now though, because he makes me so happy.

If you are not 100% sure I would put the brakes on planning the wedding until you are.

I don't know what's considered normal with the second thoughts thing, maybe a lot of people wonder it. But personally I wouldn't marry anyone if there was a shred of doubt. In previous relationships I got to a point where I asked myself honestly, is this the one? And if I felt even a tiny bit of uncertainty I knew the relationship would run it's course.

I think only you can know if you can see yourself being happy in the future with him.

Ive not had any doubts as such, not about the boy himself, though we were on shaky ground in the first part of our relationship over our view of children! When me and the boy got together I told him I didnt want any more children, and he couldn't fathom that at all, as though I was some kind of unnattural monster for not wanting kids. I reminded him that I'd only know him 5 minutes, and no, I don't want kids, I already have one from a failed relationship, and I don't want to make the same mistake again, if we were to go anywhere, then yes, I will probably change my mind, but not having anymore wouldn't be the end of the world for me. I've been in a shit realtionship, and seen people pop out child after child for all the wrong reasons. I'll decide IF I want more children IF I end up with a man I know I'm going to spend the rest of my life with

Obviously, it became apparant that he was that guy lol

We very nearly went our seperate ways that night lol, but I think he got where I was coming from

I did actually come round to the idea and said we definately would, after we are married, and within the next 4/5 years, however, one of my friends threw me a bit of a curveball and announced she was 6 months pregnant not so long ago. Although very happy for my friend, it made me think seriously, for the first time, since the night we almost broke up, and I wasn't sure if I'd ever want to go back to 'square one'

Soooo, I had to suck it up and talk to him about it. It was the most gut wrenching moment of my life, but the conversation resulted in me telling him that I had to be honest and that I'm likely to either really want another baby in a few years, or really really not, and he needs to decide whether this is still a deal breaker, and if he can't imagine not having any more children, then I'm going to have to leave

Luckily for me, he's changed his tune abit and said although he'd love for us to have our own child, if it doesn't happen, then it doesn't happen.

Sometimes you really have to just take that risk and speak to them about whatever it is, knowing fine well that it could split you up. There's no way I could have not spoken to the boy as that was a massive deal and could undermine our entire marriage, you're so better off talking to him if you're having doubts, it would have eaten me up inside not talked to him about my fears about where our relationship may or may not go

i have been with my H2B for nearly 4 years, we fight on massive scales sometimes, he works away and i struggle with that, we fall out, have breaks but i have never doubted he is the one. i always thought i would never get married, i never felt i would want to but being with him, i really wanted to. he winds me up, and has hurt my feelings, but he is the one i turn to for comfort. obviously we dont have anything as big as wanting children/not wanting children, i think then i would probably feel different. x

I havent had doubts if my H2B is the one, but i've had a few things in the past of whether I'M the one for him tbh. I think it is kinda natural, but you still have 2years until you plan to marry and that is a long time to get to know a person even better than you do now. Just sit down with him, talk and take it from there, but try not to worry too much.

x

Thanks everyone, we did have a chat yesterday via email of all things as we tend to be more open and then followed up with a chat in the evening.

He and I talked and came to an agreement not to agree and until the time comes if something like that happened then we would talk. We had a good chat about kids again aswell and have rediscussed this and have agreed that we will try after the wedding but if it deostn happen straight away its ok theres things we want to do and see if it doesnt happen.

I think with all the stress of work and money at the moment I was jsut a bit down but i couldnt ever picture my life without him, i know he is right as never in my life had i ever watned to get married or have children and yet with him it was a conversdation we had early on.

Thanks Guys at least im not the only one that bickers/argues with there OH. i think like SamanthaP91 said it would be weird if we didnt :)

so tonight i think it will be the what are we having for dinner bicker LOL :)

Really glad you guys have spoken about it and the issue has eased. Just remember, the relationship is about you and him. Children are a blessing I'm sure but you didn't get together solely for that so enjoy the time you have together. OH and I have been together for 8 and a half years now and we're only just seriously starting to talk about a family. Enjoy your lives together first as many people say, kinds come along and change it all! x

I think every couple goes through this. I think in your heart deep down you know if he is the ONE or not. Even after arguments and wanting to storm out and in-fact kill him lol I wouldn`t be without my Fiance!

aw barbara, sounds like he knows u well and can deal with ur temper quite well! lol i think we all argue and bicker and all learn how to push eachothers buttons, but also help eachother when they need it. I wonder why my husband is with me sometimes, but then i think he wonders the same about me. I just know that however bad our arguments got, i wouldnt ever want to lose him. We all need a break every now and then but ive never had thoughts of 'i dunno if i can spend the rest of my life with this person' with my husband, like i did with my exs, so i know hes the one. Communication is key though, without that i think all relationships would fail. I think your husband might have reacted to the abortion stinky because maybe he really wants children and the thought of getting rid of one maybe hurt him and hearing u say u would prob made him think, as long as ur both happy with your decisions then all is good. I personally wouldnt get rid of a child in that situation though, i just wouldnt be able to bring myself to do it, and they wont be in that small house forever, kids adapt to everything and soon grow up! lol

I've got to admit he's my rock met him when I was at a very low point in my life never thought for a moment that we'd end up planning our wedding. Cant think what my life would be without him

i'm sorry i never had doubts i knew that jon was the one, he does my head in and i know that i can do his head in too so we just have a mutual agreement and also compromise is the key to our success