We too have family and friends all over, so we didn't bother. Getting everyone to travel, boking work off, finding over night accomodation, cost of ti all, dj, buffet ect, it's like an evening event for a wedding without the wedding.

Planning wise, it's just plain horrible and stressy! And tbh a great big waste of money.

Sorry to put a dampener on it, have you considered saying to him this would be lovely but: *All of above reasons* And ask him to have a major role in hen do planning for you both, maybe he could arrange a little twist for you both or something. I know it seems a long way off but he'll have plenty of time to plan/arrange things and save.

xx

don't have one....

waste of time, effort and money...

we went to a restaurant with our close family and friends! the experience was very much a disaster because h2bs parents turned up almost an hour late because of h2bs sister being a pain in the a$$ so we missed our meal slot and had to wait another 40 mins... so, as I hadn't eaten anything all day (was saving myself) I had been drinking Malibu on ice and very much on the way to being V drunk... when we did get our starters it was cr@p then another 40 min wait between courses, I went to ask where the chuffley our food was... THEN the woman on the next table to us had a flaming heart attack and my dad had to attend to her - hes a first aider then the paramedics arrived...
(I just carried on drinking...)
THEN we eventually got pudding and that was the nicest part...
when we left h2bs parents just left without saying goodbye to anyone and my parents were a little more than miffed and at the traffic lights my parents pulled up to the line and in the next lane h2bs parents stopped further back so they didn't have to wave and converse! so yeah my engagement "party" was sh!t....

xxx

We had an engagement party but logistics were kinder to us - have you thought about letting him arrange an engagement meal for you and your friends, that way he gets to organise a get together with out the formalities of a party and you get a friends get together which is always bound to be less stress :) xx

We didn't have one as hubby's parents and friends had to come from Northern Ireland.
We weren't bothered either.

Personally, I think it's a waste of money, time and effort.

I've never been to an Engagement party.

we didn't even consider having an engagement party x

I had a similar issue to you, all my family live in the Midlands and I live in Suffolk. What we did was have a meal with my side if the family in the midlands, a meal with the h2b family in suffolk and then a few drinks at a local bar with our close friends.

This was the easiest way to do it, as me and the oh didn't think it was that important to have a party but our family and friends wanted to toast our engagement.

X

We contemplated it as friends who had got engaged were doing one, but we decided that we didn't have the time. We were really busy with a Christmas project and January would have been a bit late when we got engaged in October.

If it's what you want, then you'll have to do a little persuading hehe! I think it would be nice to celebrate but not to the extent of crazy parties - Just a nice meal with anybody that wants to celebrate or congratulate us is fine :) xxx

we had one and my MOH organised it for us. she hired out a really nice function room in a local pub and she did sandwiches and buffet food with bit of help from parents etc. her dad and uncle got his guitar out and we basically had a band for free all night and it was amazing and not stressful at all as MOH did it all for us. all of my family live local though within a 20min drive at the most.

i dont think you should have to scrap an engagement party tho if you would like one. just give the person organising it some advice and things to stick to. if your best man was to organise a low key event then it would be great. i wouldnt organise anything too much though e.g. no formal meal that you could miss or if people dont turn up you wont miss them. what about a corner of local pub done up with balloons some snacks etc. something informal and then you can see those who cant make it another time and maybe go for a meal or something xx

We had an engagement party and it was great! We had it on a bank holiday weekend as most people would have that off and everyone we wanted there came even though our family are scattered all over the country. It cost us around £300 in all, we did our own buffet, we asked a friend to do the djing for us as he had his own djing budiness, and we hired out a function room at our local conservative club which was free. Everyone enjoyed the night. If your friend really wants to throw you a party then why don't you mix it with New Year's Eve as that's when you will be getting married and most people will be off work anyway? Xxx

Bump

We're not having one as family and friends are all over the place and abroad. The money we would have spent on it will go straight towards the wedding :) x