hi ladies just wanted others advice on a tricky situation. my real dad moved to spain when i was about 6 and have only seen him twice since. once after my mom died (14 years ago) second time was when my niece was born (nearly 11 years ago). ive never spoke to him in between. now hes back and doesnt live far from me. should i get back intouch with him as he dont know about my son or me getting married??? but dont want him to think he can give me away as my step dad has raised me and he giving me away. should i wait 2 years till after the wedding or just explain to him what i want??
met 2008
Engaged 2010
Married 16th September 2016
I Married my soul mate, my best friend, my life!
CommentAuthorluvlifejen (mrs berr
very personal choice hun but if you get intouch just explain you want him around but your happy just being 'friends' rather than him taking on the role of your dad maybe? xx
soon to be Mrs Berry 26.11.2011
CommentAuthorMrs (Dove) Pidgeon
I'd get back in touch, but not mention the wedding yet... and see how it goes.
Now a extremely happy German housewife and now a Mother!!!!
Islay Jean born 24th June in Hannover.
CommentAuthormrsbeal2be
this is a hard 1! if you want to get in touch then make it clear what you want and xpect from him, also, if you did get in touch and he moved away again how would you feel? you dont want him in and out of your life like the buses in station as this will confuse your son aswell, what does your fh think.x
CommentAuthorluvlifejen (mrs berr
good point about in and out specially as you have a son!
my best friend went thru this recently her hubby's dad wasnt around and he got in touch and they let him meet the kids (after a lot of discussion) and now he has disappeared again and the kids were a little disappointed
i think if you didnt have a son it would be easier for you to make decision, like jen just said it happened to her friend so theyre are capable of it.xx
CommentAuthorMrsPrestleton2be
yeah i see what your all saying. but there is a chance he might not be my real dad so ive been told. so do i get in touch and ask for dna just so i know my family history?? i feel i need to know the history now i have a son just incase anything ever happens. im so confused!!!
met 2008
Engaged 2010
Married 16th September 2016
I Married my soul mate, my best friend, my life!
CommentAuthorluvlifejen (mrs berr
bloody hell hun you poor thing! i think i'd want a dna if it was me but it can open a can of worms are you ready for that? x
soon to be Mrs Berry 26.11.2011
CommentAuthorKerrylou
If there is a question mark hanging over whether or not he is indeed your real dad then the first thing I would do is try to arrange a DNA test (this does mean you'll need to get back in touch with him) Don't worry about the wedding side of it - you have slightly more pressing issues at hand, ie your son and where he fits into it all. I got back in touch with my dad after 17 years, he's as flaky as flaky can be and although Honey knows he's mummy's daddy and her grandad she can't understand why he has very little to do with us - it's a potential minefield.
If I was in your shoes I'd decide whether or not you actually want him in your life. If you do then call him and arrange to meet up on your own, ask him about the questionable paternity and see if he's willing to sort that out. IF it turns out he is your bio dad then see if you can build a relationship with him, if he's still not overly interested then you've not really lost anything but you've spared your son an enormous amount of heartache. These things take time and I seriously wouldn't worry about him wanting to step in as dad on your wedding day, you've got a million and one hurdles to overcome before you get to that.
My best advice is to be hopeful for a future relationship but don't set yourself up for a massive fall. Good luck with whatever you decide xxx
It's right what they say
"The course of true love never runs smoothly"
But if it had been easy then we wouldn't love each other as
much as we do right now - 1 week to go :D
CommentAuthorMrsPrestleton2be
thanks ladies. to be honest i dont want a relationship with him. just want to know if he is my bio dad for family medical history.
in such a pickle!! lol x
met 2008
Engaged 2010
Married 16th September 2016
I Married my soul mate, my best friend, my life!
CommentAuthorMRS WILKINSON
Another thing is to think about if you do get intouvh with him, sound your step dad out before you do, it may not seem it but it does have an emotional affect on him, just the fact u wana get in contact with the bio dad always makes other step dads or gaurdians feel low or upset, trust me i know alot on this one. just explain what you want from him to your step dad and hell understand and not do what i did and just came out with it!!
good luckxx
CommentAuthorMrsPrestleton2be
thanks ladies.my sister has spoke to my supposed bio dad and he has said he will do dna test with me. and then we can take it from there.
met 2008
Engaged 2010
Married 16th September 2016
I Married my soul mate, my best friend, my life!
CommentAuthorclareabella
well hun if u have doubts i would go 4 a dna and see how it goes cos really if he is ur dad blood is thicker than water
ooooo muchly love my mr c fletcher
CommentAuthorclareabella
and good luck hun
ooooo muchly love my mr c fletcher
CommentAuthorGriff
just tell him what it is you want and be frank with him. Tell him whatever you need to say it's your choice hunni xx
