I'm getting married in March next year. My parents (groom) are divorced. My father is remarried but my mother isn't. My wife to be parents are also divorced, with her mother remarried. Her father isn't part of her life so he and his new wife unfortunately aren't invited (live abroad).
The situation is, my father is refusing to sit on the top table which I've set out in the traditional way. He wants to be sat net to his new wife. My w2b's stepfather is basically seen as her Father, hence the situation is a bit different.
If my mother was remarried then fine, everyone would be on the top table. I'm trying to keep everyone happy. My step mother would be sat with my uncles and aunties from my side of the family so she wouldn't be alone.
Bridesmaid - Grooms farther - Brides mother - Groom - Bride - Brides Stepfather - Grooms mother - Best man
I really want my father to be sat on the top table on the day. What do I do?
Thank you
CommentAuthorsarah
Sweetheart table and ask parents to host their own takes during the meal?
CommentAuthorKatherineR45
we've got the same situation, my OHs parents are still together but my parents have split and both are with new partners, on the 'top table' there will be us, best man & his partner and our bridesmaids. Each set of parents will then be on a separate table x
CommentAuthormadhen
To be honest I think your father needs to respect the fact that this is your day and he should go along with what you ask. My h2b's parents are divorced and do not get on, but his brother and sister have both got married over past two years and parents have managed to be civil and sit at the top table etc. What does your dad's new wife think about it? She might understand your position maybe? That was the case with h2b's family. New partner didn't even expect to be asked to wedding - though in fairness they aren't married, as your father and new wife are.
I think the crux of the matter is that the day is about you and your wife to be, and everybody else should respect that and accept that perhaps they aren't going to have evrything 100% as they would like, but they'll have to deal with it.
CommentAuthorAlexA0
Thanks for the replies. My father is very stubborn and is expecting his new wife to be on the top table because my w2b's step father is going to be on the top table (he is giving her away).
I wish it was all straight forward. He is now having a go at me saying that he's not being involved. I'm getting the hint he wants to take control of one aspect of the day. I've kept him well up to date with all the on goings and things that we have booked I.e the venue and church. Shown them invites samples etc.
I asked him to do a reading during the service yet he says I haven't involved him at all. Very frustrating. In my eyes its our day and not his, we're trying our best to keep everyone happy. I know there is always someone going to be upset with something. I think he needs to accept its our day and embrace it.
Sounds so familiar! What is it about weddings that turns everyone into a scary interfering control-freak?! People you never even consider suddenly have an opinion on everything, never mind your closest family! Sorry I can't really give you more helpful advice - it's a rubbish situation to be in because at the end of the day he's your dad, you want him there and you don't want to upset him :(
CommentAuthorMichelleB2b
Family should be grateful when they are involved in any of the planning details these days as it is much less common for the old fashioned model where the parents are more heavily involved and paying. I have a similar problem as my dad is cross that I have invited his ex (the mother of his second child, who if it wasn't for her I wouldn't have a relationship with my half brother at all). I told him that just because he has cut off links with her doesn't mean that I would too. And given that I'm paying the £80 per head, I think I get to choose who comes to my own wedding thank you very much (rant over!). But seriously, I do think family need to respect what YOU want for your special day. After all, it is not your fault that there have been separations... It sounds like there is some insecurity and jealousy going on.
CommentAuthorkimi1987
We were in same situation with h2bs parents they've both met other people but if they sat together it would be ww2 so we've scraped the top table and are just letting people sit where they want.
caught the catch of my lifetime
25.05.2013. best day of my life
CommentAuthorFlossy
I'm was worrying about this too! I agree with kimi1987, we have also decided to scrap the top table and arrange a different seating plan. That way everyone's happy and there's no awkwardness on your special day!
CommentAuthorGillianE
We are in the very same situation too. My mum and dad split up when i was 6, my dad has remarried but my mum hasn't. Luckily for us they all get on really well together but they do find it akward in some situations. However we have decided not to have the traditional top table and seating plan so everyone can sit where they want to and sit with who they get on with. saving us the headache of all the fallouts.
xx
CommentAuthorDanni13
we are in the same situation...but we have just added partners to save any agro. Can your chief bridesmaid or best man not sit with your mum to keep her company and put your dads wife on there??
We have gone for:
Bridesmaid- FOG Wife - FOG- MOB- Groom - Bride - FOB - MOG- MOG Partner- Best Man
they cant get much further away from each other then and certainly cant talk!!
CommentAuthorkrazykitty
we are in a similar situation in that rys mum is remarried and his dad isnt tho they all get along really well, but ry doesnt want his stepdad on the top table wheras i think he should be! also he doesnt want him in same suit etc it getting frustrating! and to be honest even though i know his dad and we get along i feel like i know his step dad better as he is the one who ry lives with etc! should i say we have to have both on top table? or should i just let him have his way?? plus there will be an odd number at top table!!
i cannot wait to marry my best friend
i love you ry!!!
engaged midnight 2009
Mrs Ryan Sheader (to be) lol :D
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
give each couple a table to host then you have a table either on your own or with bridesmaids best man
