Me and my partner have been engaged since May and together for 5 years but tbh it feels like we're NEVER gonna get married :( . It just seems money isn't on our side. I love him more than any guy I have ever met and getting married didn't seem like a big deal to me until I realised we might not afford to get married. I'm just a little upset and wondering if anyone else feels like this? x
bride-to-be Geri
CommentAuthorAnnette
hmm, well I felt like I would never get married. Period. Then I met Carl <3 But yeah, I know what you mean, we're supposed to have started saving, but the the car didn't pass it's MOT so we had to buy a new one :S then the TV died, had to buy a new one. I needed a printer for my uni work, bought a new one. So now over £1000 which I was supposed to save toward the wedding is gone -_- I sometimes worry we'll have to cancel due to insufficient funds xx
Breathe in, breathe out...
CommentAuthorMrsKisywisy
edited
i felt like this for a long time. i always said i would just go to a registry office with him and witnesses because i just wanted to be his wife, but he didn't want that. he wanted me to have the wedding i have always wanted. that is not going to happen (i wanted full on wedding - horse and carriage etc lol). we just decided one day, screw it!! we're gonna go abroad just us and the kids and get married and have a small party when we get back.
now we've got a good few people coming out with us and we are going to have an amazing wedding!!! it might not be a big, flash event, but we're going to have the time of our lives :)
we've got less money now coming in than we've ever had (looking back, don't know how the hell we were struggling!!) but we have saved up so much in the last 4/5 months and not even noticed it!!!
we're shopping in farmfoods and iceland as we find it cheaper. i've got a seperate bank account in another bank that i get my child benefit and maintenence paid into and that mounts up quickly.
i'm researching everything trying to get THE best deals on everything
don't get down about it!! just use that energy in focussing on saving money every month. once you are confident that you are putting money away and not even missing it anymore, then you'll feel more positive and can start looking at budgets :)
I'M MARRIED!!!
I am now Mrs Bananaman!!!!
13/09/2012 in Peyia Town Hall, Cyprus
CommentAuthorMummy Geri
lol same here. Its been computers breaking, decorating and the kid starting school. If it happens it happens. Am not going to love him any less if we dont get married xx
bride-to-be Geri
CommentAuthorMummy Geri
Thing is I have no spare money to put away every month. H2b pays rent and bills and I but shopping, clothes, nappies, usual stuff. We dont have any spare money. Also even when we do the smallest guest list we end up with atleast 50 guests because we have such a big family lol x
I felt like we wouldnt get married and every so often get that feeling again!
My H2B isnt working and money is tight just now!!
My mum and dad are paying for our deposits, dress and food, and may help out wth other things, so it helps alot, Still hoping and praying that we make enough to pay off the rest lol!! xxx
CommentAuthorMrsKisywisy
i'm not working just now, i quit work to go to uni and i'm on mat leave just now. so we've just got his wage, tax credits and child benefit. his wage goes on rent, ctax and 'my money' (tax credits) goes on food, some bills nappies etc. i had my child benefit going into that account every month but i switched it to one that i can't get to easily. coz when it was put into my main account i would spend it!!!!!!!
we had some debt so we went into a debt management plan and that took so much pressure off us :)
you will get there in the end
i hope to feck nothing happens to mess it up!!
I'M MARRIED!!!
I am now Mrs Bananaman!!!!
13/09/2012 in Peyia Town Hall, Cyprus
CommentAuthorJane
i always said a would never get married even tho every boyfriend a've had since a was 17 (7) have asked me a've said yes to keep the peace but wouldn't wear a ring are make the plans until now with number 8 and a can't take the ring off are get enough of the planning lol :) am totally loving it and wish a'd been with h2b when we were younger as we're now 40/44 and missed out on so much
yay soon 2 be Lady Jane Bradbury
CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
At the moment, because nothing is set is stone yet I feel that I am never going to do it either. H2B keeps on about money, saying how I should leave it until after I qualify when I have a wage coming in. Thing is, with the way this country is going I may not have a job when I qualify, so whilst I am getting extra money at the moment with my bursary it makes sense to do it whilst still at Uni. Once the venue is booked and the registrar booked then it will all seem more real.
Our wedding day - 6 October 2012
CommentAuthorbridalmiss
It's possible to get married without spending a lot of money on a massive day but it all depends on what you want. Civil ceremony/church would cost approx 450, dress how you like, and you could use a friend's house for a buffet party or if it's summer have a vintage picnic in the park afterwards with guests bringing their own picnic! It all depends on if you see marriage as 'the big day' or the start of the rest of your lives together...
CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
edited
^^^ Totally agree. I know someone who got married in a registry office, then all went back to a relatives house and had a reception there, and it looked lovely.
Our wedding day - 6 October 2012
CommentAuthorSilvermist
yeah i totally felt like that, me & my h2b have been together 11 & a half years & engaged 11 years in august just past, it was always a money issue & having kids, houses, everything like that just stopped us, we dont have a lot of money now but we have just been putting away what we can & have finally booked our venue yesterday but my whole wedding will be done on the cheap, i even haggles to get my wedding ring down in price which is being made specially to fit my engagement ring perfect then 5 minutes later i haggled to get my h2b's wedding ring down & managed to save £100 on his ring. nothing has to be expensive u can find loads of alternatives to save money & your day wont be any less special xx
CommentAuthormelliecake
We definitely felt like this cos I pay my own way through uni without loans so all my savings go on that. We originally thought any money I had left and his would go on a deposit for a house but just can't wait any longer to get married so decided the money will go on that instead. We are extremely careful to not get pregnant as that would hold it back even further and there is no way I could finish uni with a little bundle or joy to look after. Hopefully this time next year I will have a decent job when I qualify so can start saving for a house and babies (cannot wait for little ones!). I think you just have to go for it or you will be waiting forever because of all the other things in life that cost a lot. Cut back on everything you can, do some calculations to see what you can realistically save each month and set a budget that you think you can stick to. Good luck, I hope your wedding becomes a reality in the near future! x X x
CommentAuthorMrsKisywisy
edited
my h2b was always moaning about money and how there was no way we could afford it, but then something just clicked and he was all for it!!
i think they key thing is to look at your income and outgoings. look to see if there is honestly anything you can cut back on. any way you can save money by switching companies etc, downgrading tv/phone packages. do you really need that takeaway?? (we spent stupid money on dominomnomnoes coz i couldn't be bothered cooking!!), scale down birthdays and christmas. i spend a ridiculous amount on diesel every week so i make sure i fill up the tank once a month at the cheapest garage i can find and try and get that to last as long as i can coz every time i went to pay i'd buy some crap at the desk.
shop online for food. the risk of impulse buying is then lowered :) i do a big freezer food shop in either farmfoods or iceland once a month and dry goods shop. bulk buy pastas and sauces etc so i won't need to go into shops unless i'm buying fresh fruit/veg/milk/bread etc and i DON'T buy anything else
i have told h2b that i really really don't want anything for christmas or my birthday. i'd prefer they money to go into the wedding fund of for him to buy my bouquet or something. my eldest has been told she won't be getting as much this year and i'm splitting with her natural dad for one BIG present (ipad2!!!!!!), the other 2 don't really understand christmas yet so they'll just get a few things.
I'M MARRIED!!!
I am now Mrs Bananaman!!!!
13/09/2012 in Peyia Town Hall, Cyprus
CommentAuthorkrazykitty
im wondering the same thing! im on sick at the moment and even though i have money coming in i have so many bills to pay i just about manage! I dread going back to working again because i will be on £50 a week less!! and ry is starting up his own business and just about manages his bills too! we both want to get married so that we can settle down and start a family! although that wont be for a while as we wouldnt have the money for children and at this moment in time we cud probably do a cheap registry office and a little holiday but that it! Ryan however wont do that he wants to give me a big fancy wedding (for him too as we only gona do it once) so we scrimping and saving and everything but we dont really have that many people who can help us apart from someone who used to be a florist and someone who can sew a bit but it will happen eventually x pus we both have really big families too our small guest list limited to just lose family and very close friends is over 60!
so try keep your chin up and im sure everything will work out in the end xx there are lots of people on here too who can help with the weddings on small budget ideas xx
big hugs xxx
i cannot wait to marry my best friend
i love you ry!!!
engaged midnight 2009
Mrs Ryan Sheader (to be) lol :D
CommentAuthorKaz
We've had the same problem, we've been engaged since March 2000!!!
We've got 3 kids to support etc. but this year I thought "Let's just do it!" worked out a budget plan, which I'm sticking to like glue, and been shopping around for the cheapest things ever since!
Our entire budget is £1,000, we're using a social club function room (which also means that the drink is cheaper for guests) and we're even getting married in a church! It's all about compromise and using your skills and friends skills to make more of your money!
Here's the questions I asked at the beginning "What can I do? What am I capable of?" The answer was to make just about everything myself (incl bridesmaid dresses, waistcoats and cravats, invitations, wedding cake) or to find a friend that would give me their skill for our wedding present with me buying the ingredients etc. eg. 1 friend is putting flowers into bouquets and buttonholes, 3 are doing the buffet, 1 is a DJ and will set up and do the evening disco for free!!! think outside the box!
And the best thing is I've nearly got everything sorted and am still under budget! Need any help with ideas for cheaper options just ask! good luck to everyone xx
WARNING:
I say the first thing I think of!
CommentAuthorTo B Mrs B
Well done Kaz thats great savings and so many talented friends
We are on a budget and things just going out of control so we cut everything back ( we only have 24 day guests only family ) and then a larger evening reception . Shop about ask friends to help out as others have said , can you just get a lift in a friends car to wedding ? Can someone do the cake ? Can you cut down numbers ? It all add's up but most importantly so you really need it ? The vows are the most important thing and being together forever and that can be done cheap xx
CommentAuthorlinzmum
yup I also know how you feel. me and my H2B have now been together 6 years and engaged 5. We started saving straight away but as we were living with his parents at the time we thought it best we moved to our own place first so thats where our first lots of savings went, then we had a daughter so our savings went again (not that we minded though as we love our daughter tons), then I ended up setting up my own business as I wasn't able to return to my old job and again our savings account is empty. Anyway moan over :) this year has been rather stressful thanks to our old landlords (long story) so we decided 'to hell with it lets book a date for our wedding', so now we at least have something to look forward to :) and as it turns out it rather handy not having lots of cash availible as our wedding plans have totally changed for better from what we originally thought we wanted, and the great thing is we should be able to keep the whole thing under £1000. the only down side is that we probably won't have hen/stag do's or a honeymoon but you can't win them all. We have decided to concentrate our efforts on holding a unity ceremony with just a small registry office service. our plan is to go to the registry office in just smart clothes, with 30 family (as this is the limit we were given) which will cost us £150 in all. Then we have booked a hotel for the reception, luckily we have found one which has free hall hire so we only have to pay £15 per head for food which we have asked each adult to pay for themselves instead of a wedding gift....we have already paid £200 for all the kids. Our hotel room is also free with the booking. In the afternoon (weather permitting) we will all head to the beach along with the rest of our family and friends, who couldn't come to the registry office, and hold our unity ceremony. This is the part we will get dressed up for. We will swap gift's we each other and our daughter so she feels involved. We also plan to do the speeches at this point also. Then we will all head back to the hotel for the buffet and dancing. We did however decide not to pay an outside company to oversee the unity ceremony and have instead asked my best friend to do it, which she agreed, so this part of the day is totally free :D plus if it rains the hotel said we could just go there early which is great. I'm sure you will be able to find a way around having a wedding on a budget too, it is much more hard work i think but soo worth it.
Soon to be joined together as the Wheeler family, can't wait
Doing thing our way xxxx
CommentAuthorNishaVyas88
Absolutely! Back when I was younger, I figured I'd never have a boyfriend. Then I met Chris and he was the One. But then we were too young and still studying, then pretty much everyone we were related to got married and we were short on money. While our parents offered to pay, we still needed enough money to move out. It felt like it would be forever before we got married.
Just don't lose hope- stick to your guns and do exactly what you have to in order to get where you need to be. Save up your pennies, find ways to get what you want on a cheaper budget and most importantly, stay positive. Don't let the setbacks knock you down.
Its tough but its so worth it. Chris and I will be married 3 weeks on Sunday and I wouldn't change a thing. Every setback, every annoying thing built up to the most perfect wedding day.
CommentAuthorOfficialMrsField
I met my OH, got engaged within 12 weeks of meeting but then one thing after another cropped up and things got put off and put off, before we knew it, 5 years had passed!
It got to a point that I was fed up of going to weddings and it seemed that all of my family and friends seemed to be able to affordto get married and were indeed doing that.
Eventually we sat and looked at expenses and figured out how much money we had and what we were wasting it on and decided to go ahead and book a wedding (well in advance, 3 years to be exact) and budget well for it, paying a little off each month, which is what we have done and do you know, its made our money stretch much further and we seem to be a little better off now we arent wasting money on unnecessary things.xxx
About to marry the man of my dreams
Bring on 15/9/2012!!
