not sure if this is even the right topic but i just need to rant slightly lol.... i had my first dress trial...my dream dress was perfect just want id hoped for since i seen it 3yrs ago in a magazine, my mil2b and sil2b came with me and both said it was the best dress of the day and i rang my mum after sending her a pic on my phone id taken and she just said it was 'nice'. Im sat here alone tonite and i just feel like crying tbh, i feel so delfated and it just doesnt feel like im gettin married. im happy to be organised my big day but ive not got those butterflies i thought i wud. i never thought id ever get married so i dont really know what i want on my big day despite ppl telling me its what i should want not others..but i dunno what that is. I just feel so low and ive had a fall out wi him lastnite so thats not helping.
Am i just being stupid or does everyone get deflateed
gez.xx
CommentAuthorjodie b
just remember how much you loved it, it may also because she hasnt seen it in the flesh, xx
CommentAuthorz
i did but i dont have a run of good luck and im trying not to get my hopes up cos tey're alway dashed. I just wanna sit and cry cos im not as happy and estatic as i thought i would be planning my wedding...
CommentAuthorjodie b
what else have you organised? your wedding will be brilliant and everything you want it to be, which is what matters xx
CommentAuthorNishaVyas88
She may have thought she was being enthusiastic. When h2b and I rang up his mum to tell her we were engaged, her response was "that's nice". She was excited for us but she thought that was an apt response (considering she got mad when his brother got engaged to a woman she didn't get on with at all, we got a better reaction in the end, haha).
On the other hand, if she was just being flippant, ignore her. The important thing is that YOU love the dress. If you base your decisions on what other people's reactions are, you'll just end up driving yourself insane. Only you know that the dress is THE dress. Don't let anyone else tell you otherwise.
As for not feeling the butterflies- don't worry about that. I don't either. Whether its because I tend to acknowledge emotions rather than feel them (if that makes sense) or if I just see my wedding as a natural progression that was a long time coming I don't know. But it does happen- doesn't mean you're doing it wrong, so don't worry yourself over it. Or it might be a calm before the storm- might all hit the day before or day of the wedding... who knows?
id set my colour scheme for example on jade and aubergine...and i wanted my bm's in jade now they're telling me they dont like green and want the purple - but cos im having an alfred angelo 1516 i want them to match me, now my mans piped up he doesnt care about colour, my mum doesnt like green, mil wants black... everything id set my heart on ppl dont like and i guess its making me down cos i want ppl to enjoy it but they wont if they dont like what ive picked, just not a good start
CommentAuthorjodie b
green is a great colour! i think it'll look lovely, o think the guys tend to take a back seat until gets closer to the day xx
CommentAuthorz
do they, mines so laid back and not making decisions or inputts to anything, its like he doesnt wanna marry me now, now im parnoid im gettin to clucky with the wedding talk :S
CommentAuthorNishaVyas88
edited
That sounds really pretty.
As for the girls who don't like the colour- take my approach
MoH: You're going to hate me but... I don't like the dress you picked for me Me: Tough, you're wearing it
If they love you, they'll wear it. It's your day- you call the shots. Besides, they should be glad you're picking out something nice- you could be really mean and get them something nylon or polyester with poofy sleeves and clashing bows in unflattering places.
::edit::
Guys do tend to be more laid back about the day, don't worry. My h2b is excited about getting married but couldn't care less about fabrics and dresses and decorations. He just leaves me to it and chimes in only if he's not keen on something or if he really likes it.
CommentAuthormartay (marie)
i know exactly how you are feeling, so no you are not alone!! sometimes i feel i am planning xmas for example you know, must get this, must do that etc etc.
when we got engaged i rang mil and told her; her response was 'oh!' which kind of burst my bubble.
i am now getting pressurised by my friends to have a hen party. ive explained to them that its something else for me to sort as my MOH is in the army and its not practical for her to sort. they dont seem to realise that im planning wedding, got house and child to sort and its just extra pressure i dont need.
i dont get alot of butterflies when i think about the wedding, but i know i got the butterflies when things id ordered for the wedding started arriving in the post, i.e. personalised ribbon, cake topper etc and maybe that will be enough for you to 'gee' you up?
why not explain to your BMs how you feel about the dresses and stress how much you would really love them to wear the colour of your choice, after all it is your wedding!!
i presume from your post that your mum lives some distance away? have you considered the thought she may have felt a tad resentful that she wasnt with you to help pick dress??? most mums with daughters live for that moment when their daughter picks their dress! perhaps she was hoping you could wait until you were together before dress shopping.
all ive got to give to you are these 5 words tonight
Thank you for loving me, for being my eyes when i couldnt
see. for parting my lips when i couldnt breathe
thank you for loving me xxx
CommentAuthorjodie b
i always get told to give it a rest with the wedding talk but then he'll have a time when he'll sound as excited as me, men are fickle lol xx
CommentAuthorz
edited
i like to please others tho. im the type of person that feels bad if i offend others..so i guess i do need to harden up a bit. my other problem is i dont really wanna pay the 750 that AA1516 retails for and trying to find a cheaper alternative but just as stunning, but i cant find swatches anywhere either - the bridal shop wouldnt give me any. I just get paranoid ppl tell me things are nice just to please me :(
yeah my mum lives in belfast im now in wales. but shes always known that the dress ive picked is the one ive seen for yrs and yrs and it was the one so shes been aware that sh'd not be with me to find the one - cos ive already found it = if you get me.
I know weddings are stressful and i dont wanna turn into bridezilla but what makes it worse is i cant talk to the one person i want to about my dress problems and that my man - im normally in the pub on saturday nites gettin free drink off him as he works there but instead im in on a sat with the dog at my feet in my pj's cryin my eyes out for no apparent reason .... all because no one apart from me has fallen in love with my dress and my colours... xxx
CommentAuthorNishaVyas88
*hugs*
You'll find that being a bride will harden you up at bit- I certainly have. I started off being quite easy going with my bridesmaids and my guests but you'll find yourself becoming firmer with them to get things done. For example, It broke my heart rescinding my former housemate's Hen Party invite but she didn't get back to me in time and I was sick of waiting to hear from her.
Being adamant about what you want doesn't make you a bridezilla *hugs*
CommentAuthorz
im hopin my low mood its just too much work n no sleep,,, thank you :) xx
CommentAuthorNishaVyas88
No problem. Sleep would probably help too, lol. I used to have all my panics and tears in the evening but I'd feel better after a good night's sleep. Watch out for eyebags though, lol
CommentAuthorbecky -mrs firth
babe the butterflies wll cum closer to time! 14 months is a hell of a long time away and h2b are like that til closer to time too lol
Engaged 27th November 2010
Hen Do Newcastle 2nd June 2012
Marrying the man of my dreams 11th August 2012!
Honeymoon To Jamaica 14th October 2012
CommentAuthorSoon2beMrsHall
Hun we get married the same time and i dont feel the butterflies. I think it might come nearer the time. It might just ben to long away. Plan get stuff sorted and it will come
Cant wait to to marry Martyn
Wishes the wedding would come faster
XxX
