Im fuming this morning and need a little rant, sorry ladies !!
My H2B sister (he has 2 sister and 1 brother, all in their 30's) has been winging to her sister that she hasnt been asked to our bridesmaid. I have chosen my 3 best friends since school and 2 nieces who are her neices too. She feels that sisters should be asked before friends to keep weddings in the family and im so angry. We are not very close as nothing in common, she massively over weight, a complete bummer, never worked a day in her life, smokes alot of weed, thinks the world is against her and does nothing to help herself. A bridesmaid is supposed to support the bride on the wedding day and lead up to the wedding and she wouldn't do this but moan constantly. She's a nice girl but not my best friend and defintily not my choice of bridesmaid. We asked her to do a reading and she said No as didnt want everyone watching her but surely being a bridesmaid they would all be watching you anyway !! I feel like texting her the defintion of a bridesmaid ?!
Anyway my H2B has heard this through his brother this morning and fuming why she feels she can upset me and have an opinion, he is going to call her and tell her she is lucky to be invited to our wedding the rate she is going. xx
Finally marrying the love of my life !!
10th August 2013 - 9 years to the day we met !
CommentAuthorMrs Ross
lol i know the feeling i asked my 2 best friends and h2b sister my mum kept asking why i wasnt having my sister in law but we dont get on and in the 8 years she has been married to my brother ive prob seen her 9 times!!! so why would you have someone like that as a bm? so i know exactly what your saying but your doing the right thing by not asking her so stick by your guns and dont let her annoy you
CommentAuthorx~Hails~x
My kids and my nieces are all mine lol
If you dont want her TOUGH!! She'll get used to it and at least you asked her to be part of the day by doing a reading her fault if she said no
glad your h2b is on your side :-)
UKBride moderator both on here and on facebook
For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart
It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.
CommentAuthormillz090
Well my H2B and his other sister are on my side and completely agree with me. The thing is she doesn't make any effort with us, didnt send us an engagement card and everyone else did, hasn't asked about the wedding plans and haven't seen her since Feb and we only saw her as she wanted money. However if she made the effort and a good friend then i may consider her point but shes 32 not 12 so grow up !!
Finally marrying the love of my life !!
10th August 2013 - 9 years to the day we met !
CommentAuthorLinzi-jo
I no this feeling! My h2b's sister got her mum to tell me that she needs to be maid of honour because she is family! I have been with h2b for 4 and a half years now and she has always either ignored me or spoken to me like I was something off of the bottom of her shoe! We got engaged on new years eve when we out with all the family, everyone said congratulations to us but she stormed off screaming and crying... her reason was because she was older than h2b and should be engaged first and he was selfish to have done this to her! I couldn't believe it! She then never spoke to either of us for three months until our engagement party when she brought 10 friends (uninvited may I add!) and they caused havoc! And now she expects to be maid of honour! I told her mum where she can go and h2b agreed! She is lucky that she is coming at all after the way she behaved at our engagement party. However, h2b has given me permission to kick her out of the wedding if she starts playing up on the day! We just need to ignore them hun and get on with it. It is their problem at the end of the day, not ours! Do what makes you happy, not her xxx
Got together 14.02.2008
Got engaged 31.12.2010
Will become a Mrs on 30.08.2014 xxxxxx
Linzi-Jo Thats really bad of her, who needs enemies when you have sisters like that huh? Glad your standing your ground and i am going to on this one too xxx
Finally marrying the love of my life !!
10th August 2013 - 9 years to the day we met !
CommentAuthorLinzi-jo
As far as I am concerned people shouldn't just expect to be bridesmaids. It isn't their day it is ours and if we dont want them to be part of the bridal party then they wont be, and especially with yours Millz090 as you offered for her to do a reading and she turned it down! So it is her own fault that she isn't involved at the end of the day, not yours. Don't let her make you feel bad about it, you have done nothing wrong xxx
Got together 14.02.2008
Got engaged 31.12.2010
Will become a Mrs on 30.08.2014 xxxxxx
CommentAuthorEcoFreak
Linzi-jo!
This is when I'm bloomin' glad h2b only has 2 brothers, and I've only got a brother too! Why is there always such drama with females?! Lol! Xx
CommentAuthorBex89
I agree with Linzi-Jo - its your choice and your day and everyone should just be happy for you!! I have a friend who has automatically assumed she is my bridesmaid just because she asked me (her wedding never went ahead) but she was lowest on my list!! And she only picked me because she fell out with her sisters! lol...
You stick to your guns girl!
Been with my gorgeous 5years :)
Can't wait to become Mrs Ellery <3
CommentAuthormillz090
Females do make dramas... we asked H2B brother to be an usher and he was delighted with that and had a little tear... however his sister winged and said he should have been best man not usher. Its non of her business, he didn't mind and no one else does so don't know why women have to interfere and cause such a drama !!
Finally marrying the love of my life !!
10th August 2013 - 9 years to the day we met !
CommentAuthorJoanna
Linzi-Jo I can't believe your h2b's sister acted like that! That's terrible! I don't know why people just expect to be bridesmaid. It's not like she's your sister! Xx
The greatest thing you'll ever learn
is just to love and be loved in return
<3
CommentAuthorfwills25
i agree she shouldnt have got on like that its not right
do what makes you happy hun its your day xxx
CommentAuthorClareS
It's your choice. People shouldn't assume a role within the wedding party or ask for one either. One's that are chosen should be grateful that you have picked them and want to share the special time with them. You stick to your guns. Linzi-jo sounds like you've had a bad tme with bridesmaids as well! I'm wondering what issues my sister with create for our wedding, so far all i've asked her to do is come to an appointment with me to try dresses on and she backed out the morning of the appointment grrrr x
CommentAuthorhugsmore84
Oh hun, I have my two best friends and our two daughters and h2b's son. My sister always has to be centre of attention and this caused huge rows. But as you say they are there to help and support you so you do as I have and choose the ones up to the job not those who beleive it is thier right. x
I asked him if he liked me on 20thMarch 2005, he said yes
He asked me to marry him on 20th December 2010
We are getting Married on our 8th anniversary at Nonsuch on
20th March 2013, and I can't wait
CommentAuthorsussie
I have my best friend as my only attendant. i was having 2, but not spoken to the other so demoted her. We decided that other than our son who is going to be page boy, that we were not having any family members involved in the wedding party (oh and except for my dad walking me down the aisle.) I am an only child and OH has 2 sisters, a brother and a step-brother. so it wouldnt have been fair on me.
CommentAuthorKellyD
Ha I sort of know how you feel. My h2b's parents and his sister all feel that she should be bm as 'he only has 1 sister' - in having my two best friends and his neice as to me a bm is someone who has always been there and who always will. His sister doesn't hardly speak to me and is really jealous of me and her brother as we are getting married and she isn't, and tells her mum (mil2b) a load of lies about me lol- childish I know x
Marrying the perfect guy!
Need to Loose 3 Stone! So Far = 2 stone 5lb
CommentAuthor~feebee~
I asked my SIL2b to be a bridesmaid and she turned it down because her hubby is Best Man. They have four children so she said no, she couldn't look after me and give me the attention I need on the day. Bless her
Finally Mrs Grove :)
CommentAuthorHa_x3
She sounds like one of those people who only think of themselves and never put anyone first etc.. i wouldnt want someone like that to be my bridesmaid, especially if your not very close & close friend would clearly mean more to you xx
Mrs Lunn
08/05/12 was the best day of my life
& I love my husband with all my heart xxxx
CommentAuthorCoconut
im in a similar situation expect my fh2b said that i have to have his sister
CommentAuthorHa_x3
Coconut why do you HAVE to have his sister? Thats a bit unfair if you dont want her x
Mrs Lunn
08/05/12 was the best day of my life
& I love my husband with all my heart xxxx
CommentAuthorMrs van der Lee
My SILs were BMs before I was engaged. My MIL told me when that if we got married I'd have 2 upset sisters if they weren't BMs! I only wanted 1 (my best friend) but I've been lumped with 3!
Sam & Adele
Mr and Mrs van der Lee
10-08-2013
CommentAuthorHa_x3
I personally wouldnt allow anyone to tell me what i can and cant do/have on MY wedding day.. i understand its difficult MrsVanderlee2b but why have you allowed it if its not what you want? xx
Mrs Lunn
08/05/12 was the best day of my life
& I love my husband with all my heart xxxx
CommentAuthorMrs van der Lee
It's too late now, it's been decided and I can't just tell them no :/
Sam & Adele
Mr and Mrs van der Lee
10-08-2013
CommentAuthorHa_x3
edited
Its your wedding, so why cant/didnt you say no?
Its never too late if its not what you want
Mrs Lunn
08/05/12 was the best day of my life
& I love my husband with all my heart xxxx
CommentAuthorJoanna
I agree with ha_x3, it's your wedding, you can do whatever you want xx
The greatest thing you'll ever learn
is just to love and be loved in return
<3
CommentAuthorMrscarter2b
I am having 5 bridesmaids and only one is a family member, my neice. We have chosen to have friends as part of our wedding party because they are more like family to us. None of our brothers and sisters are part of the wedding and to be honest, we would have prefered them just to be invited to the evening reception but it would have upset our mothers. My dad isn't even giving me away because my son is!! It is your wedding and you need to do what's best for you honey and don't be bullied into anything you'll regret later xx
CommentAuthorMrs van der Lee
My MIL is a bit overpowering, felt like i couldn't! Too late now, I'll live
Sam & Adele
Mr and Mrs van der Lee
10-08-2013
CommentAuthormillz090
Thanks for all the advice ladies... i am sticking to my guns and not having her.
I think people think a bridesmaid is a must for all sisters but it really isnt.... it should be your best friends and someone you can trust know will support you on the day and wear a bin bag if it make you look the prettiest girl in the room. I am pleased with my 3 bridesmaid who are my best friends and i will not be adding any more bridesmaid to the list !!
Finally marrying the love of my life !!
10th August 2013 - 9 years to the day we met !
CommentAuthorMrs van der Lee
Good for you Millz! xxx
Sam & Adele
Mr and Mrs van der Lee
10-08-2013
CommentAuthorHa_x3
Im glad your sticking to your guns hun xx
Mrs Lunn
08/05/12 was the best day of my life
& I love my husband with all my heart xxxx
CommentAuthorKirst
I never get how people have the nerve to ask (or get someone else to do it for them!) If you wanted them to do something you would of asked them, plus you asked her to do something and she said no. I wouldnt worry hon, is your wedding you and H2B should do what you want and will make you happy.
I tried involving H2B family (as their is only a few of them) and it came back to bite me in the a**!! I am now having two of my close friends instead of H2B sis to be my BMs...they have shown more interest then she ever did and seem more excited for us. I always thought you could trust family but now realise they can let you down and hurt you more.
So I say...dont worry...is your day stick to your guns hon x x
CommentAuthorhugsmore84
Good for you, don't take no **** it's hard enough without people trying to make your day about others and putting the pressure on. xx
I asked him if he liked me on 20thMarch 2005, he said yes
He asked me to marry him on 20th December 2010
We are getting Married on our 8th anniversary at Nonsuch on
20th March 2013, and I can't wait
CommentAuthorCoconut
Ha - because its his only sister and no matter what she does she is his sister! And as much as she ennoys me she is family. she will be fine on the day or i will tell her to p*ss off
CommentAuthorhugsmore84
Ha ha, you go for it. The number of people I have upset because of what I want leaves me with 20 to 30 less people to worry about. As my other half said if they don't like it they can go stick it where the sun don't shine. I feel much better not having to please everyone. xx
Good luck
I asked him if he liked me on 20thMarch 2005, he said yes
He asked me to marry him on 20th December 2010
We are getting Married on our 8th anniversary at Nonsuch on
20th March 2013, and I can't wait
CommentAuthormrsheavey2b
we have not asked brothers or sisters on ether side of the family as it would course mayhem as i have 1 sister and 3 brothers and 1 of my brothers has 6 kids and h2b has 2 brothers and one of them has 4 kids and we have 2 kids of our own so we are having my daughter and my 2 best friends as bm our son as page boy and h2b is having his best friend as best man as if we asked one we would have to ask them all then the wedding party would b so big plus me and h2b is paying for every thing and we couldnt afford to for so many
Linzi-jo!
