Well this week we don't seem to have any brides to e becoming brides SO what Ive decided to do is ask a question instead and get your thoughts and opinions on it.
So here it is.......
When sorting out who should be on your guest list should family take priority soley because they are family?
Discuss ..........nicely!
UKBride moderator both on here and on facebook
For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart
It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.
CommentAuthormillz090
No most definitely not! We want our wedding filled with people that love us and want to be there and sometimes this is friends and not all family. Being family doesn't give you an automatic invite but families take work and effort too and some people don't bother so eh shoud they get a place over a valued friend?!
Finally marrying the love of my life !!
10th August 2013 - 9 years to the day we met !
CommentAuthormillz090
Really no brides this week..... Donda is getting married on 12th i Thought?!
Finally marrying the love of my life !!
10th August 2013 - 9 years to the day we met !
CommentAuthorx~Hails~x
Hmm well theres no one on the calender thread where we copy the names from hun??
UKBride moderator both on here and on facebook
For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart
It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.
CommentAuthorNinaDawson
Yeah, donda's on the 12th :)
N xx
Became Mrs Dawson on the 8th June 2013 :)
Date twins: MrsEminson2B kirstyford
Expecting Mini D in July 2014 :)
TUT well we can only do those who have added their names to the calender as we can't remember everybodies lol
Ok well I'll check and rename this thread then and start a new brides one for her
UKBride moderator both on here and on facebook
For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart
It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.
CommentAuthormillz090
I just remember her date as 12/12/12 and off to Grena Green xxx
Finally marrying the love of my life !!
10th August 2013 - 9 years to the day we met !
CommentAuthorNinaDawson
Yeah, cause the newspaper wanted to do an article lol.
lol
N xx
Became Mrs Dawson on the 8th June 2013 :)
Date twins: MrsEminson2B kirstyford
Expecting Mini D in July 2014 :)
CommentAuthorx~Hails~x
Ok sorted lol found lala's one changed the dates to this week and deleted mine hehehe
AND there are quite a few brides this week hehehe
right back on topic
FAMILY TAKING PRIORITY ON THE GUEST LIST
UKBride moderator both on here and on facebook
For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart
It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.
CommentAuthorNinaDawson
No, not a chance, haven't seen any of my cousins or any aunties/uncles on my mums side for about ten years. They don't know me now, and don't bother with me, so there is no way they get priority over my friends, especially as I am having a budget wedding too
N xx
Became Mrs Dawson on the 8th June 2013 :)
Date twins: MrsEminson2B kirstyford
Expecting Mini D in July 2014 :)
CommentAuthorMrs van der Lee
Nope. Family who have acted like family yes. Dads who yo-yo'd in and out of my life will not be invited no matte how much anyone pleads!!!!
Sam & Adele
Mr and Mrs van der Lee
10-08-2013
CommentAuthorNinaDawson
Lol made me chuckle
N xx
Became Mrs Dawson on the 8th June 2013 :)
Date twins: MrsEminson2B kirstyford
Expecting Mini D in July 2014 :)
CommentAuthorMrs van der Lee
Haha. Glad it did. Xxx
Sam & Adele
Mr and Mrs van der Lee
10-08-2013
CommentAuthorNinaDawson
That sounds horrible now thinking about it... Sorry chick. It's just the way you wrote it...
N xx
Became Mrs Dawson on the 8th June 2013 :)
Date twins: MrsEminson2B kirstyford
Expecting Mini D in July 2014 :)
CommentAuthormillz090
I agree and have a h2bs sister who is not invited as treats everyone like poo and I have had enough so not sent her a save the date! Rather a friend comes who wants too then his sulky grump sister! Xxx
Finally marrying the love of my life !!
10th August 2013 - 9 years to the day we met !
CommentAuthorMrs van der Lee
No I laugh too. I've done very well for myself (cue blowing own trumpet) I've almost got a professional degree qualification. I'm 21 got a sensible head on my shoulders and I'm about to marry the most perfect man for me.
He's lost out big style. I'm a big fricken deal ;)
Sam & Adele
Mr and Mrs van der Lee
10-08-2013
CommentAuthormillz090
Haha, why should yo have someone there that doesn't bother with you? Xxx
Finally marrying the love of my life !!
10th August 2013 - 9 years to the day we met !
CommentAuthorMrs van der Lee
Exactly millz. Same goes with your grumpy sod ;) xx
Sam & Adele
Mr and Mrs van der Lee
10-08-2013
CommentAuthormillz090
She is a pain in the backside, moaned she wasn't a bridesmaid then didn't like my hen do plans so not coming on it, said she expected us to pay her hotel as she can't afford to come otherwise and just generally moans so h2b told her she wasn't invited as doesn't want her ruining the day lol xxx
Finally marrying the love of my life !!
10th August 2013 - 9 years to the day we met !
CommentAuthorMrs van der Lee
Haha fair play!! My h2b wouldn't have the minerals to do/say that xx
Sam & Adele
Mr and Mrs van der Lee
10-08-2013
CommentAuthorNinaDawson
edited
See, my mums always moaning at me, can I disinvite her? Lmao
N xx
Became Mrs Dawson on the 8th June 2013 :)
Date twins: MrsEminson2B kirstyford
Expecting Mini D in July 2014 :)
CommentAuthorDonda
Yes I'm getting this week, OOOHhh soo looked forward to saying that :)) 12/12/12 :))) There's a few of us getting married this week. But x~hails~x really good post.
I think no you don't have to invite family just because they are family. You invite the people you most want there, the people who love you and you love the most.
I'm fortunate enough to have a wonderful, close family but some brides & grooms aren't, due to circumstances some brides & grooms don't want certain members of their families at their wedding and as we all love to say, it's your day, do it your way :)))
Met on 7th April 2008
Got engaged on 14th November 2011
Getting married on 12th December 2012
Looking forward to the rest of my life with the man I love
CommentAuthorMrs van der Lee
Sam & Adele
Mr and Mrs van der Lee
10-08-2013
CommentAuthorMrsA-J
no i dont think you should have too!! some times family members are not the people you want there for whatever reason...ive not seen my aunty or uncle in 5 years...maybe more. they walk pass me in shops and i honestly think they dont regonise me! ha was v annoyed when i got told i should invite them! y shud i pay for someone i dont care about and who doesnt care about me to come to my weddingg?? no sir ee! im a push over with most things but i dont want em there...they aint coming!
CommentAuthorTori
Glad you managed to stay firm. Unfortunately my wedding will be overrunwith his family some he doesn't even want there! In order to keep the peace we are having people we don't want instead of friends we do!
CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
I do not think family should take precedence over very good friends. Some family you do not see much of and there are close friends who you do. We had a few family members from both sides that did not come purely because we wanted closer friends there instead.
Our wedding day - 6 October 2012
CommentAuthorTori
Best way to be about it Glitterfairy!!
CommentAuthorOfficially Mrs M
definately not! the family that you see yes, but the family just for being family no way!
8th September 2012 I married my best friend
1st September 2014 our little family grew by one
Women are made to be loved, not understood. - Oscar Wilde
CommentAuthorNatalie86
No!! Me and H2B have a big group of close friends and i would much rather have them than some of our family ha xxxx
CommentAuthorTatty
Nope - Family who you like and have met before and are close with yes but none of these 'ohhh I met you when you are a baby' types. x
Love: A wildly misunderstood, although highly desirable,
malfunction of the heart.
37 Pounds down, 22 pounds to go! I will be a skinny bride!
28th March 2014 will be the day I marry my best friend.
CommentAuthorPenguinJ
No I really don't think so. There are family members of mine and my h2b that arnt being invited because they simply dont make the effort with us. when we got engaged only his mum and dad, nan and one of his aunties got us a card. None of my family have even congratulated us (except my mum n her bf and my dad). but yeh my friends take priority. i only invite family i actually give a crap about xxx
So lucky to be marrying my soulmate on 18/07/20
CommentAuthor*KelBel*
I don't think so either.... I'm inviting close ones,mum dad sisters etc,and grandparents.... Then come my friends (who I prob see more than most of my family) .... Then we're seeing how many places we have left and are inviting the family who we see most til we've run out xx
Velcro...my wedding day twinny! The Two Kel's!
Got engaged 14/10/12 in Central Park NYC!
Became Mrs Macdonald 13th September 2014
Mummy to 4 girlies and baby blue boy Due 10/05/2016
CommentAuthorlizzylou
Definitely not!
Lizzy. x
CommentAuthorLauraJo87
I too think that you shouldn't feel obliged to invite distant family over friends...
However there have been several occasions where we have caved in as the long term ructions not inviting them would cause far outweigh the fact that we weren't too fussed about them being there.
Another factor we have had to consider in terms of the night do, and this sounds like an awful thing to say, but there are several members of h2b family who are both very elderly and some who have been very poorly...and our wedding could be the last 'big get together' that they are able to attend so that has influenced our decision on who to invite.
We havent invited anybody that we actually dislike and really don't want there, we've just maybe left off a few less close friends which we might have otherwise invited.
Xx
My Beating Heart Belongs To You
30 August 2013
The First Day Of My Happily Ever After
CommentAuthorNinaDawson
One thing that made me laugh was my mum. When we first started planning she said "you've got to invite my brothers, they probably won't come but invite them anyways." Then I said no, I don't know them anymore, and they don't know me. Same reason I'm not inviting 2 other aunty/uncles and countless cousins. Cue an argument.
6months later, wedding chat again, mum asks "are you inviting my brothers?" I said no. She said "yeah, no point really, they don't really know you to be honest. They probably wouldn't come..." As if this had never been said before! My mum is borderline schizophrenic so this may have had something to do with it, but grr she makes me mad!!
N xx
Became Mrs Dawson on the 8th June 2013 :)
Date twins: MrsEminson2B kirstyford
Expecting Mini D in July 2014 :)
CommentAuthorjoey86
I didn't really think about this to be honest - I have quite a small family (18 members incl. aunts/uncles, cousins and their kids!) so I'm inviting all of them lol. I do keep in contact with all of them though, so I'm really excited for them all to be there. This is only takes up half of my guest 'allowance' (we split the guest list 50/50 between me and OH), so have plenty of room for friends etc :-)
The OH family is a different matter. We don't really get on with one of his sisters, so we're in two minds to invite her and her kids (we both agree we can think of four friends we'd rather upgrade to day guests!). I guess you shouldn't feel obligated to invite someone just because their family - although for some family politics just don't allow for that choice! We kind of have this issue with said sister as she can be incredibly spiteful if she's left out, but if she does come, chances are she'll just stir things for the hell of it anyway. Grrr.
Slightly off topic, but has anyone else felt the same way about work colleagues?! I work with around 30 people, but only about half on a daily basis (the rest I chat to at the pub etc), yet everyone thinks they're invited to the evening do! There are some people I would really like to invite as we get on really well outside work, but I feel that if invite them, I have to invite everyone and I really don't have the room (or the money!). Sorry if this is completely off topic but I needed to get it out of my system!
CommentAuthorOWB
Hhm, I've invited all my siblings, even though life would be easier if I didn't - two of them can't be in the same room for 10 minutes without arguing. I've not invited my father, nor have I felt pressured too. I am also not inviting any distant relatives, only 1 uncle and one cousin. H2b is only inviting one of his uncles and no cousins. We're limited on numbers and would rather have our friends there.
If only life could be one long tea break
CommentAuthor*KelBel*
I think u should invite who u want end of.... Send night time invites to the work colleagues u want there and u don't have to explain yourself... Ppl shouldn't just presume, it's a wedding,not a mad works night out lol xx
Velcro...my wedding day twinny! The Two Kel's!
Got engaged 14/10/12 in Central Park NYC!
Became Mrs Macdonald 13th September 2014
Mummy to 4 girlies and baby blue boy Due 10/05/2016
CommentAuthorMrs Badger
Nope, I think you should only invite the people you want to share your day with, we only invited my husbands brother from his family (and he didn't even turn up- grr!).
Now a Mrs!
"..I've seen the best and the worst of you and I understand
with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You're a hell of
of a woman. You're the one..."
CommentAuthorKaili&James
Completely get this dilema. To please yourself or your family. Logic would say to please yourself but its not that easy.
We sent out save the dates with christmas cards and when it came to work there were only about 4 people that I could honestly say I would want there. I felt really bad at first but we have a postbox at work for staff christmas cards so I dont need to be there when they open them. At the end of the day its our wedding and Im not gonna pay for someone to take the place of someone I want there and thats all it boils down to.
CommentAuthorb2bnicola
I would like to join in this debate as I have no clue what to do myself.
We have invited our close family to the day and eve, problem is my h2bs close family is his only family...... i have close family and then 48 other family members..... thats A LOT OF PEOPLE! and it means £624 to invite them all to the eve do.
Problem is 1 family out of that 48 I cant stand with a passion!!!!!!!! and dont want her there, but my mum says i cant invite everyone but her???? why???? if she was just a friend and we'd had a falling out she wudnt be coming to the wedding - why does she have to come just cause she is family???
BUGS ME!! xx
Happily Married! :) xxx
CommentAuthorowlgirl2015
No I definattly don't think that being family memberr means a definate invite there is a feew family members we are not inviting as they never bother with us whenever we try so why invite people like that when we have fabulous friends aand family friends who sstand by us through everything well that's how we see it anyways lol but we havee only got 35 to 40 guestts to invite so limits a lot. X
25th of july 2015 i marry my soulmate:) x
CommentAuthorLinzi-jo
I think it all depends on cultures aswell. In my mind, if you dont want family members there then they shouldn't be invited, however my h2b is Greek and in his culture it is seen as being disrespectful if a family member isn't invited to the wedding as you are basically saying they arent part of the family. However, h2bs day guest list is 142 people by itself! Mine is 40 (including bridal party) and that would be with no friends there! Venue can only hold 90 for a sit down meal so some people noses are going to be put out of joint when they dont get an invite! Luckily I have some amazing friends who are quite willing to come to the church for the ceremony, then go and get a meal somewhere else and come to the evening reception after. Just wish family would be as willing to do it! lol xxx
Got together 14.02.2008
Got engaged 31.12.2010
Will become a Mrs on 30.08.2014 xxxxxx
CommentAuthor*KelBel*
My sister is marrying a Nigerian, and they have all family there it doesn't matter how far bk or if its once removed lol, she's having about 600 guests at hers... I'm not even inviting my brother lol
Velcro...my wedding day twinny! The Two Kel's!
Got engaged 14/10/12 in Central Park NYC!
Became Mrs Macdonald 13th September 2014
Mummy to 4 girlies and baby blue boy Due 10/05/2016
CommentAuthormillz090
I think we tend to base the wedding on the wants of the bride and groom so they determine alot of the choices especially the guest list whereas in alot of other countries especially Asian weddings, the wedding is for the families too so they tend to contribute more and have bigger guest lists as invite all sides of the family xxx
Finally marrying the love of my life !!
10th August 2013 - 9 years to the day we met !
CommentAuthorKirstyJ22
Blood doesn't make family. It's whoever is family to you so the most important people in your life should take priority :) x x
CommentAuthor*KelBel*
My best mates are family.... I can tell the two of them anything xx
Velcro...my wedding day twinny! The Two Kel's!
Got engaged 14/10/12 in Central Park NYC!
Became Mrs Macdonald 13th September 2014
Mummy to 4 girlies and baby blue boy Due 10/05/2016
CommentAuthorVelcro
family seems to be more obligation than anything I think. Theres no way id have a family member there if it meant a close friend couldnt come.
Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
*Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
CommentAuthorLauraJo87
Yeah I was invited to an Asian wedding recently - we couldn't go unfortunately, but apparently there were six hundred guests! I couldn't cope with that! xx
My Beating Heart Belongs To You
30 August 2013
The First Day Of My Happily Ever After
CommentAuthorKat
edited
Family to me are those people who love and support you. So yes family should be a priority but that doesn't necessarily mean those you are related to. I went to a Bangladesh wedding this summer. There were about 800 people there and the events went on for about a week.
Should probably say that my mother and sister came close to not being invited and the only reason they were is that they changed their attitude.
lol
made me chuckle
