Could the adult bridesmaids pay for their own dresses? That would remove the cost element from it to an extent. I agree it would be horrible to have to disappoint your bridesmaids,particularly the children.

Maybe they could all pay for there dresses? Thats how im doubg it and how in our family have always done it, when i was for my cousin my mum paid for my dress (i was 11) and my bms are paying for their own one of the being my cousin i was bm for! And im sure if you explained they would understand, or even if you paid half each?

bay of e do a load of cheap but lovely bridesmaid dresses, and like some of the other's have said ask adult bm to go halves, i'm sure they'd understand xx

I've got five adult bridesmaids and 1 flower girl, I asked them all if they would mind paying for their dresses and they all said they would love to, I got my dresses online for around £50 each brand new they're perfect :-)
xxx

hi all thanks for your lovely responses. i have spoke to my mum this aft and she said she is already paying for my sisters, the cheapest dresses are the adult ones but finding dresses for the younger ones is proving difficult. iv seen a few people selling on bookface but only the adult ones its so stressful trying to find them matching as i dont want them to be mismatched and look stupid and not co-ordinated. iv had it easy planning till its come to bridesmaids dresses lol. iv booked an appointment at the place where iv ordered my dress from as they do packages if you are a bride with them so me and my sister are there on saturday to discuss packages etc but hoping its not too much (but really think they will be).. i also spoke to my H2B regards others paying for there dresses and his response was that his brother is best man and his kids are flower girls and bridesmaid so if he was to pay for them all aswel as his own suit then it will cost him a fortune when we're the ones that have asked them to be involved in the wedding. i do see his point but its either that or there not in the wedding as awful as that sounds.
today i have had a total different view on things and i feel REALLY selfish and iv not said it to anyone till now. i have chose them as bridesmaids but he isnt having any of my family as groomsmen etc and i havent moaned once but when i mention them paying for there dresses he makes me feel like im just targetting his side when im not coz obviously il be asking my brother to pay for my neice's dress to... hope all that makes sense haha and if you think im being selfish please say so, im far from selfish and that thought before even shocked me as i never think like that but i was made to feel i had to have them as bridesmaids hence why i asked them. i wanted my sister, my neice and a close family friend and his older sister and then my baby niece as flower girl. luckily a family friend is doing all our hair n makeup for free but im making up a little hamper for her as a thankyou from us all all of us are chipping in to pay for it so i wont feel as guilty.

its awful i feel im stuck in a rut. i know its our day and its not about pleasing other people but i always think of others and how they would feel which is why i asked them all to be bridesmaids when his dad said what he did. iv got headache now thinking of it.. must have needed the sleep last night as i slept from 1am to 1pm last night.

I don't think you're being selfish at all, I think in the excitement of the engagement and the initial wedding planning you've just said yes to everybody because you've not wanted anybody to be left out and now the reality of the costs have hit you.
I think you've now realised you can't afford all the bridesmaids and flower girls that you have agreed to so you are faced with two choices, a) you tell them they can't be a bridesmaid or b) they have to pay for their own dress or at least pay half towards it.
Personally if I was one of your bridesmaids I would just rather you talk to me about it and explain the situation and ask if they would mind paying for their dress, hair, make up etc. Anyway, the chances are that they would have gone out and bought a new outfit for the wedding and paid for their own hair and make up had they not been a bridesmaid so why shouldn't they? If they are good friends/relatives then they will totally understand your predicament. If they don't understand and want to help then maybe they shouldn't be being a bridesmaid?
My daughter and step daughter are being my flower girl and bridesmaid and my best friend is my maid of honour, I was so relieved when she just volunteered to buy her own dress. I am having a very relaxed and informal wedding though so no strict bridesmaid dress code.

Maybe with H2Bs brother he could pay for one child and you pay for the other. It may be that you have to have different arrangements for different people based on circumstances.