I am really upset that my three cousins posted a message on facebook that they were so dissapointed that they were not invited to our wedding and couldnt believe that I was not inviting my godson who is 14 (we are not having any child at the weedding the youngest is 25). My H2B said at the start that because of numbers we were not going to invite cousins because we just could fit them in or afford it etc. We are fairly close to them but Joe has loads and if invited one another would get up set. There are about 11 on his side and 9 on mine!!
It has really upset me and I just dont know what to do. I just feel like not getting married any more then think that I am being silly and just let them be anrgy it my day etc..
What would you girls do??
CommentAuthorKimmie.Bride.to.be
Hi Huni,
We had the same problem. There is always going to be upset somewhere. No matter how hard you try! Maybe just after the wedding, choose your favourite photo from the wedding, and write a note on the back saying something along the lines of 'We wish you could of been there, very sorry for the disappointment'. (Obviously for the older ones rather than the children). You could also make a poem to put on the back explaining your situation.
xxxx
CommentAuthorMrsMelodyWalker
Ignore them!!! I'm not inviting any cousins to mine apart from 1 and I don't care what the other's say. I have 27 cousins, they have partners, kids and so on and there's no way on earth I can afford to have all these people there. Plus, I don't really like them lol. You will never please everyone so you just have to learn to ignore the negative stuff, they will get over it hun xx
All of my dreams come true the day I married you, Mr Walker
5.11.11
Remember Remember The 5th of November
CommentAuthorStave
For me I have some cousins that are like friends and others that I dont speak to. So personally if you are close to your cousins like friends then if it was me I would be upset too. :-(
CommentAuthorjanetx71
im having the same problem we are getting married in scotland but h2b is from yorkshire so his family are traveling up for the wedding we cant just give these people an evening invite as they are traveling so far what we decided on was parents and brothers and sisters nieces and nephews and a few special friends and a couple of aunties but i have way to many cousins so ive given them evening invites some of them had a moan but i just told them we cant afford it so an evening invite is the best your getting take it or leave it lol we will see who turns up xxx
i had the same problem, not that they said that to me on facebook - i would be livid.But i do wish i could have invited mine.H2b has his, but that is because he has such a small family.Where as if i invited mine it would be an extra 30+ people, and since we are only have 30 people per family, you can see how quickly it would have doubled up
CommentAuthorx~Hails~x
My family is HUGE. I have 12 uncles and 10 aunts on my mums side alone (mum was 1 of 12), they all have kids and some of them have kids. And yes even some of them have kids too :-(
Right at the start we decided NOT to invite everybody and just invite the ones that we see and talk to often which has cut it down considerably. We then decided aunts and uncles only to the day then cousins and their kids and their kids to the reception only!
I know this is going to course probs when the invites go out but i really dont care.....i cant afford to have everybody there and they dont bother with me throughout the year so why would i bother with them for my special day???
UKBride moderator both on here and on facebook
For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart
It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.
CommentAuthorUnknown
i know it is hard but ignore them! they prob dont realise how hard it is to do the guest list or how expensive it is too invite even one extra person!
i didnt invite most of my cousins and they moaned so i then invited them and not one of the has replied! the wife of one sent me a text and i havnt even met her! so rude! so dont worry and just ignore them xx
CommentAuthormartay (marie)
ignore them. it is your wedding not theirs.
we too have a 'no kids' rule in the evening, except those who are there during the day, yet i was caught out last week.
at school i am friendly with 2 of the mums, 1 of which h2b and i socialise with and our daughter is best friends with theirs. The other mum is a little bit devious and so is her daughter, who tries the old '2s company, 3s a crowd' scenario which causes conflict between the girls.
when writing out the invites h2b said to invite mum & guest (single parent, but with a BF) as her daughter is not to come and cause arguments and spoil the day.
last week whilst i was with my daughter at her dance lesson this mum RSVP'd myself and said her and daughter would be delighted to attend. She knew full well i would be out at dancing and deliberately (i believe) picked this time to reply as i wouldnt be fully on the ball!
i am going to casually mention in a few weeks about her bringing her new fella, and stress the 'no kids' rule and see what happens.
H2B thinks she will turn up with both daughter and fella in tow, and then it will be too late to respond.
you are the ones who are getting wed and therefore people should respect how much you are paying out and how expensive weddings are.
why not post a message on FB reiterating how you feel and stressing why you cannot invite everyone.
xx
all ive got to give to you are these 5 words tonight
Thank you for loving me, for being my eyes when i couldnt
see. for parting my lips when i couldnt breathe
thank you for loving me xxx
CommentAuthorVicky
People just dont understand how hard it is trying to please everyone and the additional costs of bringing a partner. My cousin will not even like it as there are only adults but have just made me feel terrible!!
What ever I do now it will seem like an after thoughts as they have made it that way, when I had them on my reserved list when people drop out. I tried to explain that there are lots more other people we havent been able to invite we want to but just cant afford it..
Its just such a mess
CommentAuthorLiz3yy
How rude of them to moan on Facebook! I would block them if they can't behave like adults.
My friend got married last year and only invited a very small circle of friends and family to the main event, her cousin and auntie complained about not getting an invite. My friend sent them one only to have them immediately decline as they couldn't make it! why moan in the first place?!
I think some people just like to moan to make a point. My Counsin will be invited but whoever she is seeing at the time won't be, I don't want people there I haven't even met!
Can't wait until the day I become Mrs. Johnson :)
CommentAuthorMrsSaraParry!
ignore them! we're going to cause fireworks when we send out our invites because we're inviting all adams cousins on his mums side (3 are bridesmaids anyway) but none on his dads side and we're not inviting any of mine. But we don't care, we're not inviting people that we don't want there and we had no spaces left anyway! xx
CommentAuthorVicky
That is the problem we thought because we dont know there partners we just thought is best do to invite any of them. I do feel bad but know if I invite them now they will not come so what is the point
CommentAuthorClareS
That's not fair of them to moan so publicly on facebook :( We're not inviting everyone to ours. It's going to be parents, our brother and sisters, neices and nephews. a few friends. There's a few that are coming to the day do but only because they'll be travelling (London, Ireland and Isle of Man) and didn't think it fair to ask them to travel all that way just for an evening do. Some of the cousins living close by are not too happy but tough. Have to draw the line somewhere. You invite who you want to invite x
CommentAuthorGazza 122
Personally, not many of my family are coming to the wedding at all, not because there is a fall out or anything....i just dont see them often enough to warrant spending £77 p/h! To moan on FB i find very rude and would be so offended if they done that to me! dont let them get u down, its your day...not theirs and they're not paying for it! xx ((hugs))
CommentAuthorVicky
Thanks girls I feel much better you have really confirmed what I was thinking!!
xx
CommentAuthorlozzatea
i went out for a family meal last week and my cousin shouted across the table, i cant believe you didnt ask me to be bridesmaid! GRR!!! family
CommentAuthorVicky
What that is so rude!!
CommentAuthorlozzatea
I No! i was sooo angry- shes only 16 but she should konw better than that, i have 6 female cousins, why should i have singled her out to be a bridesmaid? x
CommentAuthorVix
Im struggling with something simalar!! I found out 5years ago i have two half sisters, 4nephews and 2 nieces!! For the first 3years it was fab, always in contact and visiting twice a year (we live 4/5hrs drive away!) But now we only really have contact via birthday cards n xmas card! We always send money for kids and they do for our two kids too!! Theyre even deleted me of FB!! If i were to invite them it would be 10 places, which at £65 per head we cant afford it!! Plus id rather have family and friends who are closer to me there!! But i hate upsetting people, although i really dont think they will get upset as theyre the ones who deleted me ect!!!
Hope you sort it out hun!!! Its sooo hard!! xx
CommentAuthorJilly17
Famillies are so ridiculous! My h2b will be inviting his cousins and second cousins as he has such a small family whereas I have a huge family but more importantly loads of friends I want to invite. I have 2 cousins I see as friends so will invite them and suffer the wrath of the others but to put thier feelings on FB is so petty!
Thanks girls I feel much better you have really confirmed what I was thinking!!
