right so its no big secret iv been havin problems with h2b lately................ in actual fact the issue is that h2b cheated.
it was a few weeks ago on a night out,he took a girl to a hotel. i know this for fact and although i have no physical evidence i have heard more than enough information about h2b from this girl to know its true, unfortunately my issue is h2b is denying it, flat out denying 2!
i went to leave the house today to meet the girl to retrieve a hotel slip with h2bs card details and signature on it n wen h2b found out he packed my bags n said if i went he'd take em to my mums.
theres no doubt in my mind he has done wrong the only thing thats upsettin me is he wont admit it,
could u forgive???
sorry i no this is personal n probs shouldnt aired my laundry as it were but as a lot of ladies have said to me i have nothing to feel ashamed of, x x x
what would u do cut ur loses n leave anyway or try n forget wot u know u know and move on? x x x
6 n a half weeks scan!!!!!! x x x
CommentAuthorMrsOwen
i think if you really love a person and you know they wont do it again then i would try and work through it, would you be able to trust him again?xxx
the greatest thing is to love and to be loved in return
CommentAuthorbagpuss
but my god! he has to come clean! he's clearly feeling so guilty but he's dealing with it by attacking you instead. call his bluff with the bags, he's only going to make a dick of himself in front of your mum. there'll be no coming back but it'll be his fault. hoesntly i don't know if i could forigve what he's done if he did tell the truth but you're calling it a mistake when you don't know it's a mistake as he won't own up. i'm sorry if i seem harsh, i don't mean to be cruel to you but his attitude has just made me so angry. he's treating you horribly.
CommentAuthorSpecialSundae
I have no idea what I'd do, but I wouldn't go ahead with the wedding until you've made a firm decision.
It's a horrible position that he's put you in. I'm very impressed with how well you've behaved after hearing something so horrible.
CommentAuthorTinsel
I couldn't as I would always hold it against him, I would never trust him again (if he can do it once and I forgive him, he could do it again), I would have more self respect than to allow myself to be used and lied to and it would make me bitter.
Even though I love my H2B, he knows if anything like that happened, that would be the end of us.
07.04.12 - the best day of my life!
Living happily ever after as Mrs Nottage x
I want to hug you so much, im so so sorry you are going through this & your expecting too right? im not too sure how to reply to this as my first husband cheated on me with my best mate & it still hurts 8 years later, i could never forgive, iv always said if a partner cheated that be it, once a cheat and all that. But your pregnant, and also people do make mistakes, it depends if you can get him to admitt it so you can try forgive him, but if he wont how can you ever trust again?
I split with hubby last year and cancled the wedding that was booked and payed for, he didnt cheat and im still too ashamed to admitt what he did, but i forgave and were now happy and married.
Think the ball is i your court hun, you need to work out if you love him enough to forgive?. xx
CommentAuthormummy2Olivia_Lisa
i truly do think he just made a mistake n he spent so long denying it that he probs feels he cant admit to it now if he wanted 2,
i know he loves me,weve had some real tough times lately n the wedding stress has been at its absolute maximum, i just dont know whether i shud perservere with gettin the proof off said girl or whether to just accept il never have definate proof n try n move on with my life with or without him x
6 n a half weeks scan!!!!!! x x x
CommentAuthormummy2Olivia_Lisa
weve waited so long to have this baby n now its finally happened......... i just dont know what to do, i truly believe once we have baby n are married he'll be right but i just dont know if i can bear not knowing exactly wots happened. x
6 n a half weeks scan!!!!!! x x x
CommentAuthorbagpuss
i don't think you need the proof, it's clear he's done something. but the fact that he's said he'll throw you out if you go get the proof is absolutely disgradeful especially if you're pregnant. i'm sorry i could accept it was a mistake if he was actually sorry. but until he agmits it he can't actually be sorry. i fdon't think you'll ever be able to forget it till he comes clean.
CommentAuthorMrsd
I really think you need to sit him down and put cards on table, explain how your feeling, tell him you will walk because the trust has gone, but if he has the bottle to admit what he has done then maybe there is a chance of making ago of it once hes said sorry..pack you bags hun and move to your mums and turn your phone off! it will scare h2b and maybe get him to fess up. xx
CommentAuthormummy2Olivia_Lisa
he'll never fess up,i just know it, iv told him if he admits the truth i swear on my life il never bring it up again i just need to know he's sorry n he wont do it again!!! he wont fess up ever,its down to me to decide if i can just forget it n move on, he said ''
ok if u think im guilty cant u just take it as i am n move on from it with me?''
i have no idea wot im going to do, he's my best friend in the whle world, he really is.........i know he wants this bub more than anything in the whole world i think he so scared if he fesses up il definately go, x x
6 n a half weeks scan!!!!!! x x x
CommentAuthorFuture Mrs Doublé
Hun, I will tell you what happened to me, but don't make a decision on this. My ex fiance wanted to have an open relationship, and I wouldn't, so I don't know how many times, he went behind my back, his sister knew about it, but could not tell me, until one time too many she did, he was actually seeing a guy (didn't know he was interested in them) and always denied cheating on him. So I wanted to give him some payback, I got myself someone else, but I fell pregnant, from I don't know whom (I think my "lover") and having cheated on someone, even someone who did not respect me made me ashamed of myself, and I got a miscarriage. So in the end, I left him, as he didn't love me, and if I had been able to cheat on him it proves I didn't love him, but I told him before leaving him what I'd done, he forgave me straight away, but it didn't matter, having done this was killing me. So then I decided to have a clean slate and moved in the UK, where no one knew me and what I'd done, and I met the love of my life. If he was ever to cheat on me, I could not forgive, because it happened to me, and I can't regain trust. The key is to admit what happened. If you can talk with your H2B and he acknowledges it, and repents, I think in that case, you could forgive him if you wish.
Soon to be Mrs Gary Doublé
Everything is now booked
Getting really stressed and excited now
CommentAuthorLisa Ramos
I think the way he has behaved towards you, since you found out what he's done - is absolutely dispicable. I agree that you could work things out, if he owned up to it. I would definitely meet the girl, get your evidence and then boot him out of the house. When he has realised that you mean business, he may come clean and you can try and make a go of things. I know I've told you this before but you have definitely got to cancel/postpone the wedding. You need to remember that your not the one who has done this to the relationship, he has and he should be begging for your forgiveness - instead of twisting things round and putting the blame on you. I think a lot of you Lisa, and I worry that if you allow him to bully you into dropping this matter, your going to have a miserable life as you will never be able to trust him. He needs to be a man and own upto what he's done and then he has alot of making up to do. I'm sorry I sound so harsh, but I am so angry and upset at how he has treated you. If I could drive, I would be sat next to you now giving you a big cuddle and b!tch slapping him!
I love my lickle Ava
CommentAuthorKye
To be honest hun if he had fessed up said he was sorry and did everything to undo the wrong hes clearly done id forgive him but the fact hes denying it still is not good. I understand ur situation hun and its so difficult because ur pregnant but before i marry someone id want to know i was marrying a guy who has no secrets and i can say my vows and hear his to me without doubting them.
Have you tried threatening to leave if he doesnt tell you?
Could you leave temporarily (stay at mums or someone who can support u) but dont tell him that so it might maybe shock him and force him to think. I know when im left alone thats when i get into deep thought
Im so so sorry hun you really dont deserve this!!xxxxxxxx
CommentAuthormummy2Olivia_Lisa
thanx lisa hunny, im just physically and emotionally drained from it all.............. its like im living in limbo
iv said he has to prove that he def didnt or she can prove he did either way i need to no 1 way or the other, he just doesnt get it,
i cant think straight. x
6 n a half weeks scan!!!!!! x x x
CommentAuthormummy2Olivia_Lisa
i truly have nowhere 2 go,even my mums abroad for 2 weeks. i dont want to be homeless i just dont want this drama in my life............sometimes i just feel itl be easier 2 just drop it n hope 4 the best,im exhausted by it all. x x x but at same time i feel like i cnt just walk away x x
6 n a half weeks scan!!!!!! x x x
CommentAuthorStave
The way I see things (from personal experience) in order to try and move on you need to forgive, but you cant do this until you have discussed it and he has accepted he did wrong and is truly sorry. Either way it will niggle away and cause arguements.
Only you can know what you think, feel and want for your future. Just be ready to face arange of emotions, from anger, guilt to an all time low.
Dont suffer alone, if you need help or a cuddle then ask for it. x
CommentAuthorbecky -mrs firth
i will tell u sumting..... ok so me and h2b was about to split.. i went out wiv girlies had loads to many kissed ( several times) my ex and his sister saw me , and he found out 1 this si how i knew i love dhim so so much! i was forveer sayin sorry etc for ages! but not we dont talk about it, i was eventually forgiven1 not an excuse but i had drunk way toooooooo much!
however.... ure h2b came home 4 his bank card and went to a hotel room..... he cant of been that drunk! he needs to fess up and u need a longggggggggg chat!!! and to delay weddin defo!
Engaged 27th November 2010
Hen Do Newcastle 2nd June 2012
Marrying the man of my dreams 11th August 2012!
Honeymoon To Jamaica 14th October 2012
CommentAuthorbagpuss
i agree with forgiveness. But at the moment he's trying to convince you there's nothing to forgive and if he keeps it that way you'll always be in limbo. He's trying to put his guilt on you. And you have done nothing wrong! It's shocking. Can't you kick him out? Why do you have to be homeless not him? But regardless, here's the thing, do you know if he'd actually let his pregnant fiance go through the stress of being homeless, do you really want him to be your husband let alone expect him to be a decent dad.
CommentAuthorbecky -mrs firth
yes i agree... forgiveness cant come til he has cum clean!!
infact why dont u show him thsi thread???
Engaged 27th November 2010
Hen Do Newcastle 2nd June 2012
Marrying the man of my dreams 11th August 2012!
Honeymoon To Jamaica 14th October 2012
CommentAuthormummy2Olivia_Lisa
he just very sarcastically said to me ''yeah ok i did sleep with her, i took her 2 the hotel'' i no thats the truth but he's not tellin me outta honesty he's tryin 2 double bluff n make out like he's lyin n sayin that just to shut me up even tho he's actually sayin the truth. x
6 n a half weeks scan!!!!!! x x x
CommentAuthorbecky -mrs firth
that maybe just his 'man... sumwat boy' way of sayin the truth!
Engaged 27th November 2010
Hen Do Newcastle 2nd June 2012
Marrying the man of my dreams 11th August 2012!
Honeymoon To Jamaica 14th October 2012
CommentAuthormummy2Olivia_Lisa
its like battle of the wills....he doesnt want me 2 go n i dont wanna go but wre both tryin 2 call each others bluff cuz neither of us wants to back down. x
i think i shud tell u all so u have the facts...wen we 1st got 2gether i cheated on him, he eventually forgave me n weve worked thro it but i think the reason he wont admit it is cuz he is then no better than me,its hard to sit on ur high horse if its the same height as mine. x
6 n a half weeks scan!!!!!! x x x
CommentAuthorbecky -mrs firth
when u cheated did u tell him the truth/ mayb say that to him!!!
Engaged 27th November 2010
Hen Do Newcastle 2nd June 2012
Marrying the man of my dreams 11th August 2012!
Honeymoon To Jamaica 14th October 2012
CommentAuthorSpecialSundae
He shouldn't be sitting on a high horse. Has he been holding your previous infidelity over you?
CommentAuthormummy2Olivia_Lisa
i told him the truth................... i was completely honest...
i regretted everything i did so much so i took so much sh1t off him cuz of it, all he says is how dare i go on at him after wot iv done! x
6 n a half weeks scan!!!!!! x x x
CommentAuthorXLittleMissMe!X
He is just using your mistakes to give him an excuse to get away with what he has done. Two wrongs don't make a right and he has done it after years of being committed not at the beginning when you were unsure of the future. Does that mean because he has done it to you that you can now go and do it again? Where is it all going to end?
CommentAuthorbecky -mrs firth
to be fair thouggh.. i did ure mistake at the begginin!! its now near the weddin11 tell him mrs f says to man up!
Engaged 27th November 2010
Hen Do Newcastle 2nd June 2012
Marrying the man of my dreams 11th August 2012!
Honeymoon To Jamaica 14th October 2012
CommentAuthorSuzie Bear
It sounds to be a very well planned out mistake hun! Isn't a mistake a moment of madness? I find his attitude hard to comrehend. x
is Mrs Suzie Bear!!!!
Gotta be pink!!! :0)
I think I blinked and missed our wedding!! lol
CommentAuthorLisa Ramos
I'm sorry but the difference between you and him, is that YOU have a conscience and deeply regretted it! He cheats on you 5 weeks before your wedding and your pregnant!
I love my lickle Ava
CommentAuthorbecky -mrs firth
i reckon its cos u r so close to the bug day and he thought he cud have one last fling n get away wiv it
Engaged 27th November 2010
Hen Do Newcastle 2nd June 2012
Marrying the man of my dreams 11th August 2012!
Honeymoon To Jamaica 14th October 2012
CommentAuthorlinzi
if it was me it would be over. Not only can you not trust him to be faithful, but you cant trust him to be honest. So what on earth have you got left?
if he had admitted it, and told you it was a mistake and begged your forgiveness, then ok there might be something there worth saving.
but your title "can you forgive a mistake" - how do you know he thinks of it as a mistake? He might be quite glad he did it. You wont know until he talks about it an admits it.
sorry hun, but I would be packing my bags myself and leaving. Then see if he can admit the truth
I don’t repeat gossip so listen very carefully!!
Started Slimming World - 23/03/2011 - 2 Stone to lose!
Total Loss = 1 stone 7 lbs.
As at 23/11 - 3 days before the wedding.
CommentAuthorRachie :D
I understand you cheated on him in the beginning but to me there's a difference between the first throws of something new and something thats cemented - you were trying for a baby and planning on getting married.
But thats the other spin its something thats cemented. If it is just one indisgresion is it worth throwing it all away?
I wish you so much luck sweetie as tbh I dont know what I would do xxx
9th June 2012 when two worlds collide
The Crazy Cat Lady and the Transformer Man!
CommentAuthorKazza
Personally if he can't admit it happened I wouldn't forgive him. If he did admit it happened I would sit him down and question if he really loved me and valued the relationship we had, then take it from there.
Not the best thing to be going through and I wish you lots of luck with the situation, x
CommentAuthormummy2Olivia_Lisa
thanx ladies.............. iv packed........ ur all rite n i no it its just hard to think thats it, he's my best friend,i love him so much im heartbroken. x x
6 n a half weeks scan!!!!!! x x x
CommentAuthorHelen
no, i'd have packed his stuff and moved him out ! How did he find out where you were going? x
CommentAuthormummy2Olivia_Lisa
the house is in his name...............iv told him from day 1 im gettin proof...he knew straight away!
i havnt gone anywhere yet............so upset cuz i no no matter wot he wont admit it! im walkin away from my whole life, so devastated. i wish i never found out,i was in a happy bubble b4 this. x
6 n a half weeks scan!!!!!! x x x
CommentAuthorAtaraxia
Honey...I am so sorry he's done this to you. As a forensics student... I deal in evidence and unlike people, evidence NEVER lies. Get the proof for you, him, whoever because once you have that proof you can go on from there... if I were you I'd want undeniable proof that it happened... until then the 'IF' would be in my mind.
I am absolutely astounded he's not only refusing to admit to you that he's done this but also holding your past mistakes against you... it sounds to me like he has done it and he's feeling bad so trying to make himself feel better... but regardless of the fact you're his wife to be... and the mother of his unborn child... you deserve better than that... it's disrespectful.
While I know he's your best friend and you clearly love him dearly, and I know you must be so confused... but sometimes things like this need you to step away and look at the situation from the outside. I would do as linzi said and pack up, stay at a friends house or a relatives or your mother's house if you have keys (but preferably with someone else!) and just take time with yourself to think about this... while you are still very much immersed in the situation, it'll be very hard to think clearly. Yes you love him, and he's the father of your child but can you really forgive him when so far he hasn't said so much as an apologetic word...let alone a confession?
A million hugs to you, I don't know you that well or as well as others on here but if you ever want to talk I'm here! x
Got married 27th June and blessed on July 5th 2012
Finally Mrs M :3
Love, love... Here we are.
CommentAuthorHelen
lots of hugs for you x x x
CommentAuthorlulliebiscuit
Oh hunni i really don't know what to say! The girls have given such great advice, and you are doing the right thing. Just wish i could come and give you a big old hug!!!
Xxxx
CommentAuthorFuture Mrs Doublé
I am so sorry for you hun, If I were closer I'd offer you to stay with us without hesitation, but you're so far, the offer is real, if you wish to come all the way to Leeds, you're welcome with us.
Soon to be Mrs Gary Doublé
Everything is now booked
Getting really stressed and excited now
CommentAuthormummy2Olivia_Lisa
ladies ur so gr8.............i feel so supported right now, i couldnt have gotten thro these past few days without my online brides, im just sortin some cash n things n im leaving.......probs just a b and b for a few days n then il go from there, thank u all so much x x x
6 n a half weeks scan!!!!!! x x x
CommentAuthorAtaraxia
Be safe! You'll figure it out and we're all here to help! x
Got married 27th June and blessed on July 5th 2012
Finally Mrs M :3
Love, love... Here we are.
CommentAuthorJane
Oh hun, so sorry this has happened to you, it makes me so angry when I read what you have been through. I hope you manage to find some peace and quiet and time to think about what you truly want over the next few days.... it must be so difficult for you. I know if it was me I would run a mile, but thats easier said than done I suppose. Take care hun x
CommentAuthorSazzell23
I think you're doing the right thing hunnie, even if its just temporary to get some head space and decide what you want to do next. The fact he wont let you meet this girl to see the 'proof' screams guilty as if he was innocent and nothing to hide he would let you go thru with it as he would be confident that NO proof exists. He owes you honesty and respect and should realise that lies are not going to gloss over the truth. Be strong and know that you have to do this otherwise you'll be completely miserable and paranoid if you stay with him and his lies at the moment. Big hugs, we're all here for you xxxxx
CommentAuthormummy2Olivia_Lisa
i might sound a mug i know a lot of ladies dont agree but in truth i just want him 2 admit is so i can work thro it.......... i dont want to be without him, i want to spend my life with him, if he admitted it id forgive him..........
i just want him to tell me the truth im so desperate to tell him thats all itl take but i cnt as il sound a mug x x x
6 n a half weeks scan!!!!!! x x x
CommentAuthorRachie :D
Have you told him that hunni??
9th June 2012 when two worlds collide
The Crazy Cat Lady and the Transformer Man!
CommentAuthorFuture Mrs Doublé
did you tell him, that? maybe if he understands that you would defo forgive him he would tell you. if you leave, it might make him realise he can't be without you :)
Soon to be Mrs Gary Doublé
Everything is now booked
Getting really stressed and excited now
CommentAuthormummy2Olivia_Lisa
sort of..............he doesnt believe me n i dont wanna stress the point cuz il look like a pushover x
6 n a half weeks scan!!!!!! x x x
CommentAuthorMrsSaraParry!
I'm so sorry to hear that mrsp :o( I wish I could add something helpful but I think the ladies have said all that needs to be said. My h2b cheated on me when we first started going out, but like you, he told me everything and was very sorry for what he'd done. I forgave him and we no longer mention it - however I did tell him then that if he ever did it again it would be over, and I hold to that, much as it would break my heart to do it. I hope everything sorts itself out for you hun, stay strong xxx
