Wedding Forum - Confusion over Hen spa invite...

this is what i sent back,she should have received it on Saturday, i don't think i can do anymore than this really, also time is of essence as things need to be changed if she still isnt willing to come :(

Thank you for taking the time to write the letter, I was starting to get really worried by your silence.

I want to start by saying that in no way would I not want you or your family there on my special day. If none of you were there, I would honestly feel like a part of me was missing!

It's lovely that you consider me to be a best friend and that you think of me as a sister, because I feel exactly the same way about you.

I know you think that I have purposely kept my hen trip from you, but I want to reassure you that by no means was this deliberate or intentional. As far as I was concerned, the possible idea of a spa visit was discussed over a year ago, when it was expressed that you wouldn't want to attend, but would come on a second hen do around the town. I have followed this thought through the whole process of organising it, and the fact that I haven't mentioned anything is purely circumstantial that it never really came up in conversation. This was not a deliberate, conscious decision, it just never got raised. I understand if you don't remember this conversation and that you think I've hidden it from you, but this truly isn't the case.

I think for us to move on from here we will have to draw a line under it and just accept that wires got crossed. You know me better than to think I would deliberately hide something from you or intentionally upset you.

You also have no reason to feel awkward about anything, as this is between you and I, and it concerns no-one else. My mum and Kelvin are obviously concerned, but they just want us to sort this out as they know how deep our friendship goes.

I really want to sort this out before the wedding, so I must insist you re-consider coming to our special day. I definitely don't want to lose your friendship and I really don't want to look back at photo's with you and your family not in them, you all mean so much to me.

We need to get through this, so please can we meet up somewhere, just you and I, so we can clear the air and move forward. I just want to hug you and tell you how much you mean to me, and that I'm sorry you feel the way you do. Let's not let our friendship fall apart, life's to short, and I don't want you to regret not coming to the wedding either, I know you would be gutted to miss out on it.

Things don't have to be awkward. Let's meet up, talk things through, put it behind us and move on.

Please text or ring me soon so we can meet up.

I love you dearly,

Teresa

xxxxx

I think she is being very unfair, I hope she comes round and sees how she is being

I also agree with others, and if she didn't want to get into an argument over text why didn't she just call you? The letter seems a heck of a cop out to me. That said, for your sake and peace of mind I do hope she gets in touch and you can sort it all out face yo face. Fingers crossed, sending hugs hon xx

I can't understand how she can say she sees you as a sister but then saying she's not coming to your wedding?? A sister wouldn't do that and wouldn't stop communication and blame everything on u and not seem interested in sorting it! They would blow up ( like she did) apoligise and get over it and move on happy again! But sound alike she's used it as a way to kick off n just using excuse after excuse. Who cares if ppl said stuff about her she should be more interested in wanting to be at ur day! Hope she has the decency to reply n either tell the truth to why she doesn't want to be there or u guys manage to sort it out either way enjoy ur big day :) x

Omg I'm speechless!

What did u put in your letter Teresa? If I were in your shoes I'd be feeling like if your not going to my wedding then your not my friend at all. How would you move past the fact that she has chosen not to spend one of the best days of your life with you at such short notice. I no I couldn't anyway.

the contents of my letter is in the second post down Danielle

urghhh how annoying!!! She sounds like a spoilt brat!

Don't know how I missed that Teresa, read her letter but not yours sorry. You have poured your heart out in that letter. I can't understand why she would do this. I feel awful for you. Is she married herself? If so I'm sure she wouldn't want something ruining the run to to her day knowing how special it must be.

its deffo over now ladies:(

my h2b text her to ask if she got the letter on Monday and we didn't get a reply,
so on Tuesday he tried ringing her a couple of times in his lunch break, she didnt pick up,
so he tried again in the evening to no avail,
then he got a text back from her husband (Danielle yes she is married, i was her bridesmaid)

here is the text from her husband

please stop ringing and texting ***** this is making her ill she isn't sleeping and I'm sick of her being upset over this. She has written Teresa a letter because she didn't want all this arguing over text it will be never ending. In the letter she also made it clear we were not willing to put the kids through the awkward situation at the wedding and as a family this is what's been decided we also now know ***** has two exams that day so please leave it at this. And again we hope you both have a wonderful day and send our love


so my h2b replied with this....


Sorry ******, just wanted to make sure she got Teresa's letter that's all, have you read it? There would be no arguing if she spoke to her like teresa pleaded with her to do in her letter. I'm sorry if ****** is feeling Ill but, it is nothing compared to how Teresa is feeling so close to her big day has she thought about that? I just wanted this sorted, but obviously that's not going to happen. It appears to me that she doesn't really care too much about the friendship as she is blowing this way out of proportion. A true friend would try everything to sort this out rather than ignore everything, writing a letter then being silent isn't the way to leave it. She could have just replied to my txt to say she wasn't willing to sort stuff rather than get you to do it. I will inform the venue you won't be coming and see if I can get the £300 approx that it will cost me, plus having to re-do the table plans etc! Neither of you will hear from me again on this matter!



to this he got a reply again....

How dare you question ******** friendship she is not the one in the wrong as for me being the one to message you instead of it being you texting Siobhan on the first night it happened it wouldn't have got this far think about that


my H2B decided not to send a text ack as we now know where we stand 100%

its a shame it has had to end like this :(

Aww Teresa so sorry to hear this but your better off without her she obviously doesn't value you as highly as you do her! I know exactly how your feeling as ive been there with my old friend it will get easier xx

:) thankyou you are all so lovely :) im made a vow, to from Friday which is 2 weeks to the day, i am going to think of myself for a change and make the lead up in the next two weeks great fun and how its supposed to be :)

Big hugs hun. She doesn't deserve your friendship xxx Hope these cheer you up a bit xx

thankyou :) Rebecca :) and thankyou Katie the flowers are beautiful many thanks ;)

Aww I'm so sorry Teresa. You've got all of your new friends on here, you don't need her. Enjoy the lead up to your special day and also the day itself. I can't wait to hear all about it x

You will have a FABULOUS day with or without her. She's shown her true colours now and it seems as though she is undeserving of your friendship! Let her and her family put themselves first now, but I can guarantee there will come a time when she needs you and will come running back. Enjoy the run up to your wedding now and forget about her xx

Sending my love and hugs to you babe! I cant imagine how this situation made you feel. Better off without people like that! Onwards and upwards and your special day will be amazing because all the people that matter will be there <3 xxx

Im so sorry it has turned out this way.... It is quite clear that you are better off without your 'friend'. A best friend would not do this.... A true friend may be a little p***** initially but get over it and help you prepare for your wedding! Please try and enjoy the run up to your big day and do not let her spoil it. It is very childish of her and her husband to be honest but hey, some folk are like that.

Time to move forward honey..... big hugs to you xx

Thanks again for your support on this matter, im moving on with a heavy heart but realise not everyone is who you think they are.


They have been replaced with some other friends who think better of us than them, so we haven't lost the money anymore :)
just gotta change Seating plan, make some more place names, change the menu choices and make up activity bags for their girls rather than the boys ones we already had made.

all i need now is the sun to shine on our day eek! fingers crossed please mr sunshine, i do need it to brighten my day :)

ill love you forever ;) xx

im really excited about stuff at the moment but do have flashes of the fall out but i refuse to let it get m down, ill never get this time back, im gonna enjoy it as much as i can :)Thankyou xx

I've been away so just seen all this! Sorry it didn't end the way you wanted Teresa, but it's best to know where you stand I suppose. You're better of without her friendship I think, sadly.

But, not long to go!! :) I hope you both have a wonderful day and it is everything you want it to be xx

I am so sorry Teresa, just read through all this and it has broken my heart :(

Try and look forward and just think it has happened now and you have had time to invite other people there who will want to help make your day special not about them.

Just a word of warning though-I wouldn't be surprised if over the next week she suddenly gets in touch, if she does have a catty comment just before the wedding-don't let her bring you down, just be glad that it has come out now and she won't be there to ruin your day. Although you have said you will be upset not having them in your pictures-wouldn't you rather they weren't there, then later on look back at your pictures and have those people in who weren't there for you.

You did more then your best, I think most of us on here would agree that we wouldn't have reached out as much as you have. You are obviously a fabulous friend and it's her loss.

Now you just need to concentrate on having a great day, not long now you should be getting excited and not worrying about people who aren't there for you

That's really shit, sorry to hear it ended like that in the end.. she sounds like a tw@T.. people love to play the victim sometimes.. its all about her.. its her loss hun.. not yours .. im sure it will be hard to just forget about whats happened, but in the long run you are def better off without friends like that . hugs xx

I'm glad you got someone else to go in their place and like Donna said, would not surprise me if she tried making contact days before the wedding thinking she would still be welcome to attend. If she does, be firm.