Wedding Forum - Confused about gifts from Family???...

OK so correct me if I'm wrong, I thought it was normal when attending a wedding to bring a gift for the couple whether this is off a list or in the form of money.

However, I don't know how many people have seen it but there is an article that has gone viral after one mum complained her children hadn't been invited to the day and the couple had asked for some money rather than gifts. A lot of people were commenting saying how cheeky it was that people should ask for money or gifts and it should be completely up to the guest if they want to provide anything???

Me and OH haven't decided yet but we were heading towards the idea of a small poem in the invite to ask for a contribution to the honeymoon as we have lived together pretty much since the start of our relationship and really don't need much. If certain family ask if they can buy something I will let them but is it really that cheeky to ask for money??? I'm so confused now I really thought it was just a normal part of the whole day and I don't want to offend anyone.

Help Please!!!!!

I don't think it's unacceptable to ask for money nowadays bit maybe if you say something like "your presence is all we require, however if you want to get a small gift then we would really appreciate a contribution towards our honeymoon" or something along those lines!

I wouldnt have the cheek to go to a wedding and not give a gift. Its just expected.

Money is a popular gift now for honeymoons. We are putting a poem in our invitations asking for a contribution towards our dream honeymoon as weve lived together for 3 years. x

Thanks everyone, I thought like you did that a gift is part of the day I wouldn't expect people to put loads of money in or anything like that just what they want to but some of the comments on the article were vile saying people shouldn't ask for money or gifts.

I always thought it was traditional and a harsh way to view it really is you do pay for people to be there through the food and the drinks etc lol (that's really harsh to say though) I did hear of a bride sending people a bill if they didn't turn up though now that is cheeky :)

While I agree with you that majority of people do give gifts, personally I find it hard to ask for them.

We aren't including a gift list or a poem etc. as I do find it a little rude to do so (although it is the norm to do this nowadays). We would like money towards a lovely dining service that we love and both families are aware to advise people if they ask what we would like as a gift.
We will be grateful of anything that people give us. I know a few people who I doubt we will get gifts from due to them not being able to afford to. But them being at our wedding is a lot more important to us than inviting someone who would give us gifts.

I mean no offence to anyone who has or is asking for gifts, this is just my personal opinion. And as I say, it is the norm to ask for money in one form or another these days.

Personally I would rather have a gift list then get 17 photo frames- if there is something that you want like a dinner service, get a gift list and people can buy items from it.

I think it's normal to have a gift fund or gift list so add it as a section of your invites, that way people know what to buy if they want to and then don't have the awkwardness of asking you directly xx

I'd say it's perfectly acceptable to ask for money, I went to a wedding where the couple did just that. I would always expect that if I am invited to a wedding I should give a gift of some kind. As far as I'm concerned that's the done thing. If there is a list I'll buy off it, otherwise I'll give money or choose something safe depending on how well I know the couple. With our wedding we gave options, a J0hn L3w1s list, vouchers for the same store, or Pr3s3nt A1d, where you give a gift to people in a poor country instead, like a goat, but in the name of the people that the gift is for. I would certainly not be offended or consider it cheeky if I was asked for money in lieu of a gift. What you could do is say 'should you wish to give a gift ...', that way people feel that the choice is theirs. I'd hope that all wedding guests would give a gift unless they really couldn't afford it.

Hi Stacey. It's normal for most guests to want to give some form of gift whether off a gift list or as money.

We had a gift list but put a note in with the invitations on the additional info sheet to say that we wanted their presence on the day and not presents but if guests wished to give a gift there was a gift list set up at our chosen department store and gave details of the list reference. We got most of the items on the list. Some guests commented on how there wasn't much left on the list to buy if they were late onto it. We then got gift vouchers for that department store which we used to complete the dinner set.

Other guests gave very generously with cash. To be honest we were blown away by our guest's generosity.

my worry is that if I didn't give people gift information our home is so small we literally couldn't accept gifts, and I don't want to be rude or ungrateful. We are putting a small card in our regarding a honeymoon wish, its well worded and not too cheesy so hopefully people understand

x