Wedding Forum - Complicated lady...

This is a long one! But I think worth the read for those who suffer over bearing (but loving!) mother in laws!

Well, as some of you may remember I clash a little bit with my fMIL. In one way, this is a rant, but at the same time I really can't wait for her to open her mouth next, she was really stressful at first, but I know she seriously can't help herself!

The recent events came across as we attended my OH's cousins wedding.

It was a beautiful day, a traditional white wedding, in a church. It was lovely - not what I'd do myself but doesn't mean I didn't like it!

On the way to the church, OH was generally chatting about our day, and said at the end of the day, it was our wedding and we wanted things the way we want, because it's a day celebrating us. It wasn't for anyone else (meaning the day should be what we want) but she responded with "Don't be so selfish!" - in a genuinely upset/angry tone. She's paying for the flowers - and that's it, so it's not like she can lay choice over things anyway.

She was getting a bit upset/jealous as she wasn't invited to her nieces hen do, and had obviously been told make up artists and hair dressers were going around her brothers house to sort out the bride and her bridesmaids.
"Are WE having make up artists and hair dressers?" I responded yes - but the more I thought about it. "We". I'm kind of hoping she doesn't think she'll be getting ready with me on the day. "I'll pay for all that mind, don't worry about that."
I said "Well no, I've already spoken to my bridesmaids, they're paying for their own hair and make up".
There was a bit of a pause. And then "We'll discuss it closer to the time."
No. There is no discussion because it has already been agreed.

Now, at the wedding itself...they had a 4 piece quartet playing for them. She leaned over and said "Do me a favour, don't have that for your day!" but didn't really state why she didn't like it. They were at reception as well, and she complained again. Once I said I liked it, she suddenly shut up about it. I thought they were lovely and she was complaining for nothing!

They had a live singer, and he sang the Bruno Mars song "Just the Way You Are". Now. It's a nice song but me and my OH are quite alt/goth if anything, and she knows this (and persistently tries to change this!)
"OOoh this would be a good song for your first dan-"
"No."

Now the random lines, from various outings.

She keeps on asking me, in front of OH's family members to make sure that I don't wear doc martins for the wedding. I find this more annoying, because I've never ever had any. Keeps asking to make sure I don't wear a black dress.
While looking in a looking in a local stationery shop which also had tiaras/veils, was genuinely browsing and the attendant had a veil with a train. Because it was a really long and I'm 5' 1", MIL went "Oh no you can't have that train, you're far to much of a short @rse for that!". I don't want a long train... but you know. I'd like to be able to consider it before being told I'm not allowed to try it on :P the attendant then put it away.


The real icing on the cake was our venue. They had a wedding open day so it was the perfect opportunity to show f FIL/MIL the venue, as MIL was upset we booked it without asking her opinion.

So we took her up, and they had our rooms set out for the wedding itself and the wedding breakfast which she liked.
One thing which was different, but we liked. Is for the wedding breakfast they left a gap (roughly about 4 seats) and pushed everyone closer, so everybody could look at the head table.

I've never seen that done before, but a good idea. OH said, more of an opinion, "I think it looks a bit cramped though."
MIL sort of stressed/panicked. "No, it won't be!" and started pulling out chairs and sitting down at the table. "See! I'm fine!" ... yes... But you're also sat at the table by yourself. :P

We mentioned we thought we were going to do the tomato soup for the starter and she twisted a bit because "soups don't do well at weddings", but then said "Well I better not wear white then"... you were thinking about it? :|

Now she had a look around and was happy. But wanted to speak to someone and got a face on because no one was there. Well, we stated it was an open day so people could just go in an out as they please. We had a guided tour because we booked to look around.

She just walked off to the reception and up to the front desk. "I want to speak to someone about the wedding".

Now our wedding co-ordinator came down. She's never met me but we have spoken by email.

MIL started rattling off questions (about the napkins! At this stage!) and lots of "Good, I'm happy with that" "I like this..." "I don't like..." until the lady eventually opened her mouth.
"Who is getting married, you, or them?"
Made my day. Pure brilliance.

She tried to play innocent "This is the first input I've had in the entire wedding!" laughing about it. And then told a total lie "Yes, they never hear from me unless they want money!"

OH was livid, but calm. And called her out on the spot asking the last time we had ever asked her for money (for anything) until she finally caved and said we never did.
I was fuming and must have shown it on my face but trying to remain calm. Wedding coordinator laughed it off and just smiled at me and "just breathe, it'll be fine!"

This lady is a star and must deal with worse.

Obivously not so much of a rant this post, but more of the humourous lines and things we've had over the past month or so. I thought some ladies might get a giggle /want to rant or share some experiences themselves that theyve had like this :)

That's so funny at the end! I'd've loved to have seen her face!

Robyn - you did really well to keep your cool! And well done for pulling her up about it there & then rather than letting her get away with it! Bet its tempting to tell her you're having all the things she hates just to wind her up the way she's been winding you up!

Funny! Just don't take her with you for anything weding related, that way she can't poke her nose in. I took my parents to the things I wanted her involved in and my parents paid for a lot of stuff for it.

Unfortunately I never new my MIL as she passed away before hubby and I met so no experience of that but my sister did with hers but she just kept her at arms length xxx

@Lala it's more so his dads got an easy life. She'll nag at us that she's not being able to get involved, and then they'll go home.
His dad will get it all day/every day and she'll complain to everyone about how "selfish" we're being. If she feels like she's involved then he'll have an easier life when at home.

@AmyK there are somethings about the day I know she's going to hate - but we're keeping her totally in the dark about. I found the bridesmaids dresses I like, they're purple with a black netting over the top and she'll not like it because it looks quite "gothy". I have made a remark more than once if she keeps on pushing the wrong buttons I'll take OH away and marry in secret - just she never listens when I say it!

@Valentina I know! I emailed her as soon as we left apologising because MIL insisted she spoke to someone and the way she went on - and she just responded with pretty much "LOL - don't worry"

We're quite heavy geek/goth in a way - OH is getting dead excited at the idea of trying to get the song Aragorn sings when he's crowned king in the last LotR film - and he bought me the Evenstar Pendant for Christmas last year to wear on the day.

All of our wedding party (barring 2 on each side really, 1 usher/1brides maid) are all quite alt/goth anyway, but they're all amping it up for our day anyway because we want our day to be different and the photos will be amazing afterwards!