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Wedding Forum - Church vows for an atheist and christian...

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    • ClaireH962
      Posted: Oct 12th 2016
    Hi everyone!

    I've just got engaged :)

    My partner wants to get married in a church, but I am atheist. I have been to christian weddings before where the vows regarding god have been removed for the person who isn't religious, but I was just wondering if any of you have done that and if so - what's the best way to approach the subject with the vicar? I do genuinely want to get married in the church - my mum and dad were married there so it holds a special meaning to me.

    Any advice you can share would be amazing.

    Thanks, so much!
    • Elinor Claire
      CommentAuthorElinor Claire
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Oct 12th 2016
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    If it is an Anglican Church you have to use the vows as written. Other churches may be more flexible. Just be honest with the minister, you won't be the first non-Christian to have a Christian wedding, and they will do what they can within the legal requirements to make you comfortable.

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    • LaurenD45
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Oct 12th 2016
    I am a Christian and my partner like you is an atheist. He sees it like this

    There is no harm in making the promises before God if he doesn't believe there is a god, it's the same as just making them and omitting the word God. The God bit is only important if you believe in God. If not its just another word like 'the'
    • MichelleC961
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Oct 13th 2016
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    I completely agree- I don't believe in God yet am getting married in a church but no way woukd I tell the vicar- it's just a word to me:-)

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    • MaxineP89
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Oct 13th 2016
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    As much as I would love the big wedding in a church, neither myself or my partner are religious in any way shape of form, so for us it would just seem a little hypocritical to get married in one.

    Each to their own. Talk to your minister/priest, and see what compromise if any can be reached.

    Looking forward to becoming the 3rd and last Mrs McLauchlan

    • JulieB11
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Oct 13th 2016
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    I would say honesty is the best policy, if you don't say something and somehow it comes out then you could end up with all sorts of hassle. If they can help they will. If they aren't able to accommodate you taking the references out then it comes down to how strongly you feel about not makings the references to god. My OH is religious, I'm an atheist and I refused to get get married in a church full stop. Fortunately, he's not fused either way but it could have been interesting if not

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