This isnt about church being a nightmare, I have just come across one gigantic hurdle, this will be mine and my h2bs second marriage, but didnt think that would be a problem alot of churches marry divorced couples all the time. Well not at our local church, Ive just found out that we cant marry at the church because both of us have been married before and our ex spouses are still in the land of the living!!. We live 5 minutes from the church its in our local parish, my h2b was born in the county and still lives here yet we cant marry here. Im so annoyed i dont know what to do now. : (
CommentAuthorlil miss sunshine
have you spoken to the vica of the church as sometimes they overlook this rule and still marry you
and now the next chapter
CommentAuthorUnknown
yea i would speak to them and explain how important it is to you.
or you could do what my mum did have a civil ceremony and then have a blessing in the church
CommentAuthormrs_houghton_2012
got to other churches in the areas hun and make some enquiries x
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CommentAuthorClairebear67
The vicar is a miserable old stick in the mud, he doesnt let anyone have photography or videography in the church or allow confetti to be thrown in the grounds so its pretty doubtful he will marry a divorced couple. I will call him tomorrow but dont mean to sound negative I really cant see it happening. : ( Thanks anyway.
I know it's bad but at least you have found out now while there is still plenty of time to sort it out. Do you want to get married in a church? Youcan get some lovely registery offices?
CommentAuthorHunny Bunny
edited
Check out LINK REMOVED PLEASE READ THE RULES it mentions about the rules changing recently and that you dont have to get married in your own parish church, worth a look x
Met Dec 04~Engaged Feb 05~Finally getting married 3rd Sept
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CommentAuthorClairebear67
Thank you Hunny Bunny I have saved it on my favourites and will go and look later on. x : )
CommentAuthorEmsy5000
Have you looked into another denomination such as a Methodist or Baptist church they can be more relaxed and have lovely buildings too.
Dyslexic
its spelt wrong
I No! I Now! I Know!!!!!
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CommentAuthorloubylou
have you a united reformed or methodist church local? if so try there too......my H2B has been married before, but we still approached the minister at our local church, he came round to the house and had a chat with us. he wont marry us because H2B was divorced on grounds of seperation, if it was adultery against him, he would have married us no problem :( anyway he gave us a couple of options.... to get married at registery office then he would do a blessing at the church (CofE) or contact the minister at our local methodist church. he made appointment at the methodist and after a long chat with the minister there he agreed to marry us! have chat with vicar/minister, im sure he would be able to give you options if he refuses to marry you. good luck let us know how you get on :) x
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CommentAuthorClairebear67
Thanks Emsy and loubylou I will check and see and will keep the forum updated. : ) xx
CommentAuthorMrsC2B
Don't give up Claire if it's important to you! My H2B has been married before and we were told we couldn't get married in our local church because of that. Instead we're getting married in a beautiful hotel but part of me wishes I fought harder to change the vicar's mind. I want to feel comfortable on our big day. xx
CommentAuthorljeh92
Thats silly, we're getting married in a church and h2b has been married before (although it was because h2bs ex wife left him for another man). I hope this gets sorted hun and you get the marriage you want x
Soon to be Mrs Laura Naylor !!
24th June 2011
CommentAuthorClairebear67
edited
Well Ive looked into a bit more about marrying in a c of e church if you have been divorced, the vicar or minister will marry you providing that one or both of you can prove you divorced on the grounds of adultery, if its for any other reason, ie breakdown of relationship or unreasonable behaviour they will still not marry you. So thats us out of that equation as my h2bs marriage was breakdown of relationship and mine was both - a breakdown of the relationship due to the respondents unreasonable behaviour. So will go and check methodist churches in the area and united reform church otherwise it is a civil ceremony either in a hotel - nice but expensive or a registry office, if we have to go down the latter route then that will be last resort , I know there are some very lovely registry offices around its just not what we want for our wedding. Thanks for all your help ladies, I will keep you all informed. xxx
CommentAuthorsuzky123
if they are going to be funny with you then try somewhere else. Does it have to be a church? sorry h2b talking and I cant read the posts in peace to see if this has been covered
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CommentAuthorClairebear67
Yes I am going to check methodists and united reform churches over next few days. personally yes we would like to have a church wedding but if we have to have a civil wedding then we may have look at our finances and look at some hotels. x
