I was just wondering what your ideas are on having/not having children at the wedding?? This is going to be a big decision for us, and I just wanted a few helpful thoughts xxxxx
Got together 24/03/2006
Engaged 02/01/2012
To be wed 13/09/2013
Kirsty and Ian xxxxxxx
CommentAuthorbarbie86
We're having 3: a 10 year old, a 12 year old, and a 16 year old; they're my cousin (12yo) and OH's cousins (10 and 16 yo's). We're inviting them because we know them well. Otherwise, we're not inviting any other children because we don't know any other children, and we don't want small children there. We're limited on space, and each child we invited would mean an adult we know and love having to be scrubbed off the list. One couple coming to the whole day will have a 2 year old by then; and we will understand if they can't come, but we won't be making exceptions. A few of our evening guests also have/will have children, and again, we won't be making exceptions. We don't particularly like children, we don't feel they 'make' a wedding, the type of wedding and venue is not at all child-friendly, and finally, as I said, we don't want to sacrifice people we know and loves for a bunch of kids we've rarely/never met.
Ultimately it's down to you. Those are our reasons, and I don't see an issue with them. I also hate it when people say 'but they're RELATED to x!'. Umm, so? Does that mean that I should also invite all my guests parents too, just because they're related? Of course not. Our guest list policy has been: do we know the person really well? Do we really want them there? Have we seen/heard from them at least a few times over the last year? If people don't meet those criteria, we're not inviting them; and that applies to children as well as adults. And because we don't have children, we rarely socialise with them, so, won't be inviting them.
So far only one guest we've spoken to has had any issue; he's my brother's friend, and he had his girlfriend are expecting. She has no issue at all, and is looking forward to a 'night off', but he's asked twice now, and both times, I've been firm. Otherwise, most parents have actually seemed pretty happy that it'll be no kids, and that they can enjoy a night of drinking and dancing in gorgeous surroundings sans kids.
CommentAuthorMrsKisywisy
edited
we've got 3 kids and lots of our friends and family have kids so we'll have lots and lots of them running about :)
one of my friends only had her child and and another child from the family at their wedding. i'll be honest, they looked pretty bored for most of the day and night
it's up to you and depends how many kids are in you and h2b's family and if you can cope with kids running about under your feet and taking over the dancefloor with their 'cool dancing' lol
I'M MARRIED!!!
I am now Mrs Bananaman!!!!
13/09/2012 in Peyia Town Hall, Cyprus
CommentAuthorClareS
We'll be having a 2 month old (sooo cute and can't wait for her to be born!) a 3 and 4 year, then a 9 ( my son who is a pb) h2b's nephews who will be 10 and 14 and that's it for the day do. There'll be a few more kids in the evening though, that's why I've decided to have the sweetie stall in the evening x
CommentAuthorweemindyxx
The only children who will be at our wedding will be the children who are in the wedding party which with be 4 bridesmaids between the age of 14 and 10, 2 ring bearers who will be 5 and 8, 2 ushers 15 and 13, and a flower girl who will be 4. looking forward to it.xx
future Mrs Cole
Soulmates, 2 halves of the same soul
Joining together in lives journey.
We originally said two children only, that was only because I wanted my niece as a flower girl, having the niece meant that I couldn't really not have the nephew, so he's going to dress up similar to the men. H2B's brother has been with his girlfriend a little while now and she has two children so I've said we should really invite them, but h2b doesn't want to as we've only met them very briefly.
With our original wedding plans they would have stayed for the day, but been sent home in the evening. However our new plans make it easier, as most of the guests are going home early evening so there won't be any tired children.
If only life could be one long tea break
CommentAuthorSweetchilli
We are only inviting 32 day guests and 4 of them are aged between 2 and 8. 1 is my youngest son who I obviously want there and the other 3 are my h2b sister's who has 2 and his cousin who has 1.
CommentAuthorElliekitty
I am not keen on having very young childern at our wedding, my nightmare would be walking down the aisle with a baby screaming! We are only letter my H2B cousins who will be 6 & 5 as they should be able to sit quiet through the cemonry, however we are not allowing any other childern at the cemoery but allowing them at the reception.
---Winter 2013 Bride ---
CommentAuthorPapillonEmma
Im not keen, but I have a 1yr old nephew and I feel if I say yes to him I cant really say no to anyone else. I think it needs to be a blanket ban if thats the route to go down.The ceremony room has a minstral gallery and we are putting kids up there and asking parents to remove children as soon as they grizzle. Hopefully it will be ok. I must admit it is stressing me out.
CommentAuthorliannegoodwood
For the ceremony we are not having any children there, but this is due to having a small venue. We are inviting only close relatives and none of them have small children. In the evening though we are inviting everyone, there will be quite a few children as I have 20+ cousins and they are all under 15 lol x
I can not wait to be Mrs Webster
CommentAuthorclarebear1
Hi Kirsty I have just added a thread also about this lol, we are having a small wedding only 20 of us, anyways the hotel and gazebo r on the lake winderemere and me and HTB decided months ago we didnt want kids there we dont have our own, anyways all my mates were fine with it infact the were made up and its a nice break for them, we dont have any kids in our family all grown up, anyways weve got the problem of the spoilt SIL whows baby will be 17months old when we marry, I told her nicely the other day it would be good if she could get a family memeber they all live close by to her to have the baby so she can enjoy herself also so her poor my MIL doesnt end up going upstars at 8pm to mind her grandchild, also SIL is my bridesmaid and I really dont want the stress of us trying to get ready and the baby is crying for her or playing up, Ive told her this the other night now shes got a attitude on with me, I told her in the nicest way possible, the gazebo were we will marry is loiterally also 20 feet away from the lake which has no safety barries around it, so thats will be stress also,. Im not trying to be awakward but we would much rather have no kids there what so ever
CommentAuthorkirsty91
You have definitely all given me something to think about. Theres only one child who I really want ther, who will be seven and is a cousin who I see often. I do have other kid cousins and I feel like if I invite her, I'll have to invite them! But if I don't invite her my aunties will definitely not speak to me for a while. The only way I think I could get round this is to have her as a flower girl/young bridesmaid (she would definitely make a cute one!) but this would lead to my mum being upset that her brother's daughter isn't flower girl (however I haven't seen her in 2 years - she'll be 6 on the big day). My H2B doesn't really want kids there but he only has one child in his extended family so its easy for him to say that!! Arghhh what a mess. Whoever thought kids could cause such stress? Haha cxxx
Got together 24/03/2006
Engaged 02/01/2012
To be wed 13/09/2013
Kirsty and Ian xxxxxxx
CommentAuthorjadem
Only child / children we will be having will be part of the bridal / grooms party. We can't affprd to pay extra for other peoples kids.y own cousins aren't invited as I don't speak same with aunties its more stress than I can be bothered with. So at most be 3 very young children. We are putting a note in the invites saying : we have decided to not invite children to our wedding the only children that will be present are part of the bridal party, we do realise this may cause some inconvinence but hope you respect our decision please contact mark or jade on .......... If you would like to discuss this with us.
I actually copied that of a friends invite and thought good idea without having to just not invite kids if this makes sence.
CommentAuthormrsV2013
i'm having loads of kids. i have a lot of guests who'll be traveling a long way and have kids and don't feel its right to say no kids. i've so many nieces and nephews and young cousins who i'm close to i want them all there. that said because of this i'm arranging entertainmentfor them all. but i am putting my foot down on evening and saying to friends only that theres no kids. they all live local and can arrange sitters.
hicory vicary dock i will be mrs rachel vicary :)
CommentAuthorvicandsimon
there are 12 kids at ours 7 of them are nieces and nephews and 3 of my own! i am letting my 2 cousins bring their kids they both have 1 each just because they are travelling for the wedding and think its unfair to say no when they are coming so far. For the evening im not allowing any extra as most of the guests have kids and it will end up being a jamboree! I must admit I am worried that there are so many kids but Im focusing on the fact that my nan will be thrilled to see the entire family together as it rarley happens and maybe the last time it does for her :( xx
CommentAuthorkrissy905
there will only be my own 3 children at the actual ceremony we wanted to keep this really small and are only have the bridal party there. but i am one of 8 children so have lots of nieces and nephews most are adults now though but i will be inviting there children to the reception and evening do as we do actually see a lot of my side of the family and have family party's, bbqs though out the year so all in all there is about 22 children coming at the minute. but then I'm only inviting sisters, brother, nieces nephews and there family's I'm not inviting any aunts or uncles or cousins as i have no contact with any of my mum or dads family.
it does really depend on you both and what sort of day you want though.
CommentAuthorbarbie86
kirsty: you should not feel under pressure to invite other children just because you're inviting one. For some reason, people seem to get really weird about inviting children; it seems to be quiet an emotive topic. And personally, I don't understand why.
Now, you wouldn't invite everyone from work because you've invited 4 people from work would you? So why would you invite every single child you know, when you only know one child, just because you're inviting that child? We're inviting my OH's cousins from his mum's side; but we aren't inviting any of his cousins (both kids and adults) from his dad's side, because we never see them, despite living a whole 5 minute drive away. We're inviting his aunt and her partner, but not her kids; and I don't for one second believe that she will be offended when she sees other children there, because she understands that we know them well, whereas OH rarely sees her kids, and I've only met two of them (we're inviting her adult children to the evening though)
You can't please everyone, so please yourself. If you would like this child there, then invite her; though I agree it might be best to make her part of the bridal party. It is unlikely that people will get offended if there is only one child there, and she's in the bridal party. And you know what? If they do get offended, that's their problem. My brother's friend is offended by us not inviting his child (when they have it!), and honestly, I don't care. If he feels strongly, he doesn't have to come; we won't expect him to. But nor will we relax our policy for him, because that not only opens a whole can of worms, but it would be going against what we want. I don't find children cute, nor does OH, and we absolutely do not want kids running round the already small dancefloor at our 5* luxury venue, that is totally not child-friendly.
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
hun there is a much bigger thread on just this subject so i would like to ask that you add on to that one ...i will bump it for you
