I had been really excited about finding out how much I wanted a church wedding. As soon as H2b asked me I realised how much it meant to me to get married in a church, how I want our children 2 be to be christened in church and how I wanted to become an active member of a church. So I found one, started going nearly everyweek, only missing when I had to work. So after realising that this is the church I wanted to get married in I decided to ask the vicar about marrying in his church. First of all he rang me back at 9.30pm on a friday night - I was very sleepy, normally asleep on the couch by 8.30, me & h2b were spending some qualitiy time together before I started my nights and I really wasn't up for talking or finding my diary, so the vicar said he'd ring back. He never did. He collared me in church last week after the service and started going on and on about all sorts of things and to be honest I glazed over, but the general impression I got was that I had to think seriously if my h2b was the man for me?? It left me feeling rather put out that the vicar would question our love, he has never met h2b, and I don't remembering him saying congratulations or being happy at all that we were getting married?? The upshot is, normally I would stick my feet in and prove in everyway possible that this is what I want, but I don't want to, all I can think is well if you wont marry us, there are plenty of people who will. Am I being rash in thinking this pompus old man can take a hike?? And now wanting to get married anywhere but in a church??
I'm now a married woman
I have a gorgeous husband
Whats to do now
Theres no more wedding planning to do
CommentAuthorx~Hails~x
Honestly babe ITS HIS JOB! When i married the ex i had never met the vicar as it was in the family town and i lived 300 miles away but when we went to meet him he asked us both the same question.......... amongst MANY others. Its his job to make sure that you are 100% sure of making the 2nd biggest commitment (1st being kids) you will ever make in your life and to help you if you have ANY doubts what so ever. Dont take it to heart babe after all like i said its not personasl he's just doing his job and i wouldnt let that stand between you getting married in a church or not.
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For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart
It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.
CommentAuthorRags
I told him how sure we were about getting married, and he just seemed to say oh right well you have think about that then??
I'm now a married woman
I have a gorgeous husband
Whats to do now
Theres no more wedding planning to do
CommentAuthorsamp87
I know exactly how you feel. we're getting married in march and changed my mind about the church because the vicar made me feel like that! I always imagined getting married in a church, although i'm not that religious i like too believe that they're supposed to be there 4 u when u need them! I have 2 children and have had both of them christened because i think when theyre older the options open 4 them if they want to believe etc. Could'nt stand the fact they force you to go church every week or you can't get married there, so we're having civil ceremony, and to be honest in the last year i've been to a civil and a church wedding and the civil felt much more personal to the couple (rather than the readings about god etc) its more about your promises to each other! I just know i would'nt of felt comfortable doing it x
CommentAuthorHappilymarried Mrs G
It really is his job hun, its part of the getting married in a church. Me and h2b have even been asked to consider marriage therapy before we are even married, and we are not even getting married in a church but it was my dad salvation army capitain suggested it.
Another thing, think about how you would feel if he didnt ask all these questions? Because i dont think i would be sure about a vicar who just married anyone who asked without speaking with them about the commitment etc...
CommentAuthorsarahwasabride
dont take it to heart hun, he is just doing what he is meant to xx
CommentAuthorRags
Thanks, but it has really put me off. It's not the questions themselves, more the tone of it. He has really got my back up and it made me feel quite mad. I'm going to pursue a civil ceremony, even if it means getting different from what I originally planned. I'm just glad I didn't get too attached to the church. I think I am going to carry on being the good christian I have always been, without the need of a church and asking for forgiveness when I haven't done anything wrong.
I'm now a married woman
I have a gorgeous husband
Whats to do now
Theres no more wedding planning to do
CommentAuthorMrs_Dillon
I'm christian and I don't go to church.. I always thought (from being a very young child) that I'd get married in the same church I was christened in... but now.. doesn't seem so important to me. Just making my vows to the man that I love. I keep God close to me all the time but I believe that you don't have to do EVERYTHING in church because it doesn't effect your faith in the long run.
honestly the guy sounds like a bit of a pompous Prat!
CommentAuthorRags
Yeh! Grr he seemed all nice, until I mentioned I wanted to get married in his church!
I'm now a married woman
I have a gorgeous husband
Whats to do now
Theres no more wedding planning to do
CommentAuthorGregorysGirl
If he is old as well he might just be very old fashioned, our vicar is quite young and modern, and he might feel that you have not long joined in going to services and are only doing it to get married there. There are some vicars who just are quite abrupt and staunch, why not try a different church rather than change altogether, at the end of the day you come across all kinds of people in life, some who you get on with and some who you don't, and just because they some of those people may be vicars, it doesn't guarantee they are going to be nice, we are all imperfect including them, lol. Good luck with your decision. xx
Finally reunited with the love of my life
Never to part again
This Saturday I will finally be Mrs Codling!
CommentAuthorOuttahere
I think all vicars question couples... It comes as part of the territory I think. Our vicar questioned us for 45 minutes on the initial meeting and she also told us to consider whether this is absolutley 100% what we want to do. I wouldn't take it to heart. Our vicar has also 'invited' us to take part in a 'couples day' in February. It will last 5 or 6 hours and it's all about the rights and wrongs of marriage and again she will be questioning us and making sure we know eachother in and out before she marries us.
Seriously hun, don't take it to heart x
CommentAuthorfelicity.h
ours asked us when we met and im not sure but she might of asked if we were sure we were ready. but that was it. as we said yes she left it as that. when put on the spot, in your head your thinking what why you say that and your respones is delayed, yet the truth so maybe he thought hmm... i did it when she asked me i think i might of actually gone errm...yes lol
