Anna, I really don't have any real advice, It sounds as though your brother held off from proposing so as not to steal your thunder which does kinda conflict with then getting married right before you but on the other hand, he did say he doesn't want to wait around.

The only piece of advice I can give you is to talk to him.

As a married woman now, I can see that no matter what, you will feel jealous of others wedding - I had 3 to attend right before my own and I attended with gritted teeth and was so jealous. So maybe what you are feeling is a tad normal mixed with the annoyance of your brother stealing your thunder. Just talk to him. And ultimately remember, if if he does get married just before you, your day is your day and people will come for you and your husband.

Ok I may be the bad one here but here goes!

Your weddings are 2 months apart and will be completley different because you and his other half will have different ideas!
Yes his wedding is before yours and you will have some of the same guests being brother and sister BUT use his wedding as a trial run.
See what works and what doesnt work at his wedding and make it bigger and better for yours!
Don't tell them any off your plans so they can't steal your ideas and make your wedding the best you can keeping true to you and your H2B and trust me people will remember both as special INDIVIDUAL occassions because thats what they are!

Relax, share the excitement of getting married together, most of us bore our family and friends with all the wedding talk so think of the positives and make the planning something you can do together while still keeping things kind of a secret ;-)

My brother has done something very similar to me, I get married in June, which was booked and planned last year, he got engaged in Feb this year and has planned to get married the end of August this year so literally only weeks after me and he is getting married abroad. TO be honest though if he was getting married in this country I wouldn't mind at all, its a family celebration and it just makes it a double celebration that you are both getting married in the same year, my problem is that my brother is getting married in america, so my issue is the cost of it all. If there weren't astronomical costs involved then I would just be enjoying the fact that there is a double party.

I have to say that I agree with Hails, sorry hun! xxx

i think id be a bit miffed that he had done it before me, but i think he's left enough of a gap to not be an issue. And I think the fact hes taken your feeligns into consideration first time round he's thought about you regardign booking and thinking two months is ample time between weddings. Toms best man is getting married exactly 3 months after ours and they even checked if it was ok lol xD I think that was more that its like 4 days before my bday though. but i wasnt fussed about that in the slightest

I think it depends what your brother is like before Id go into lock down about what my plans were as me and the december bride are telling each other what we are planning etc. its just a non-issue for us

I think that maybe you think the limelight will fall on your brother as he is getting married first, but it won't be like that, in the month or 2 running up to it, yes it will be. but then, as soon as their wedding is out the way, thats when your build up starts. but can't you enjoy it together, you and future SIL go to wedding fairs and shopping together etc?

For anyone other than the bride - and this even stretches to the groom in my opinion, anything other than a few months before and the key stages such as dress, dress shopping and hen/stag dos, people really just don't care. It's not like the whole family will be sat there day and night just discussing thier wedding. Im pretty sure friends and family alike are sick of hearing about mine now and would be happy if i piped down for at least another year lol

Enjoy your planning hun, try not to let itget to you too much

I think really the only thing you would need to worry about is clashing stags and hens. theres nothing wrong with combined ones. 3 of toms mates are getting married this year and they are using it as an excuse to go away to portugal. Try to look to the positves

My advice, go to his knowing yours is going to be better! - That's how i handled my sister beating me down the aisle at least :P

I completely agree with all the other positivity above! 2 months is a really long time and your weddings will be very different. Don't let anything spoil this amazing time in your life xx

I think in years to come, you might look back and think how nice it was to be at the same stage in your lives together and be able to plan and compare and turn to each other for advice during your respective planning arrangements.

I honestly don't think it will detriment your planning or your big day in any way xx

Hun does it really matter??? As u say you've waited 10yrs for your day (I have too) but u r still getting married and surely that's the most important thing, I'd be irritated too by just remember u R getting married.... Maybe you could get some bargains off them when they're finished with their stuff?!

I can see why you would feel upset, but i do think 2 months apart is ample time for it not to be an issue. However why not just sit down with your brother anyway have a heart to heart. You will feel better for telling him how you feel even if it doesn't change anything. Then there wouldn't be any resentment building up during what should be a happy time planning for you.

Your weddings are going to be totally different, and just enjoy them both for different reasons.

I'm sure family would make sure they got the time off work to attend both weddings, so i wouldn't worry too much about non attendees.

Hope it all works out for you

xx

I think it is better that yours is after, at least you will have something to look forward to when you attend theirs. When they attend yours, theirs will be done and dusted.