well david is stressing and im worried hes gunna end up given himself heart attack over all stress and worry hes puttin opn himself hes worried we will not be able to afford honeymoon and rest of the wedding and his spending money for vegas as xmas is fast approaching and chloe has a school trip in febuary which deposit is due next week of which is £150 total trip is £350 and she wants to go and we want her to go so that an extra £400 with spending money to find b4 the wedding.

so anyway he was stressing out and his words wa we need to cancel to which i didnt say anything i just looked at him and kids stopped what they was doin and looked at me then he said quickly or postpone it. im not postponming id rather cancel if thats whats gunna keep happening this is the 2nd time of date change if we changed it.

we have £600 entertainment
£400 cake
£450 church
£3500 honeymoon
£1500 stag do spends
£300 flowers

then just the lil bits like hair make up nails week before and david a pair of shoes but he does have some new boots upstairs.

i dunno what to do i dernt mention anythiung of money or bills for worry of stressing him out more.

i dont want him making himself ill so best thing all round is to cancel/postpone.
ie: cancel to everyone else but get church venue photographer etc to postpone to a later day in yr or something then pay rest of everything else once thats paid send some new invites out with new date and time on a month or so before but only after everything is paid.

i really dont wann postpone or cancel at all.

he wants to do it all properly wedding honeymoon. theres not that much left to pay.

i wonder who gets married in 6 months that hasnt even got half of we have got paid and sorted

Instead of people bringing gifts to the wedding can you not ask for a contribution to a honeymoon? Thats what we are doing as we've lived together for almost 8 years so got everything we really need! xx

hey hun, we hve 7months to go and we havent got much left to get really, weve got a poem saying that we have the stuff we need for our home so would people be willing for a contribution to the honeymoon, people dont mind so much giving a cash gift anymore, i hope you can sort this out hun xx

and cake £400? marks and sparks under £100...u could cut a few costs!

i know you dont want to postpone but you have lived together all these years without being married im sure a few more more wont matter and its what you both want, and your daughter is important so you have got a good/important reason to postpone. May be you could just ask for money and use that towards stuff, we are going to have a honeymoon later on in the year and put it towards it. Maybe your h2b could scale back abit on the stag do, thats just an idea i dont what to cause an arguement. x

I agree with some of the other comments surely £1500 is a litle OTT how long is he going for?

Have u put a deposit down on honeymoon? is that why it needs to be paid? We just held off on ours... and was in the travel agents the day after he wedding booking our honeymoon with the money we had been given :)

Surely the main thing after all the time you have been together is being husband and wife at the end of it? By that I mean you don't seen to have much left to do for the actual wedding just the 'extras' would you be upset i you had to wait for your honeymoon my say a month or so??

we have allready argued over his stag do i told him before hed rather go on bloody stag do than honeymoon but he says he doesnt obviousley he does if hes prepared to cancel or postpone rather than cancel his stag do. as for cake he chosen the cake and filling i just choose the style, so again basically he doesnt want to cut bac on anything.. this is why when we first started planning i told him we needed a budget and he said it wil cost what ever its costs only doin it once im not cuttin bac or doin with out for anything.

perosnally i think we'll manage even if it is a struggle but i just cant do with the stress hes puttin on himself.

sorry if it comes across as im shooting everyones ideas advice down im not im gratefull but so far ive gone threw all those ideas he wants honeymoon straight after weddin he doesnt wanna wait hence why we postponed in begining we was oriinally gettin married in august this yr but wanted to go to maldives so postponed cause april was a better time to go in as he didnt wanna wait a few months. now this im just fed up of it all ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

right im gunna work outta way thansk ladies will catch up with u advice and comments when i get bac xxxx

I agree with mummy2Olivia. My OH has planned his stag do, his best man don't even get say lol. His determined to go paintballing during the day so his younger nephews can join in then to a strip club (his never been) in the evening, £5 on the door and if you tell them its for a stag do you get private seating area and discount on drinks and dances, also pay an extra £60 you get waitress service all night and a nude dance for the H2B! I know I know before people go are you crazy?! lol but I trust him completely and I would rather him do something he wants to be able to do and have fun before he gives himself over to me! xx

or down grade your honeymoon destination

that is pretty excessive for stag do! my fella has this deluded idea he's going to prague for his! He doesn't even have a passport! I told him no. Seeing as I'm paying for everything.

aw hun i hope you manage to get everything sorted out but i agree £1500 is a lot of money for a night out!! well day too i suppose but he does seem selfish to be saying that you have to put it back or cancel when he is still wanting to spend that much on his stag do!! Yes i understand that you want him to have fun but that is seriously excessive!!! if they want the private booth area then why dont all the people going with him put towards it but even with that £1500 is still a lot that more than our entire budget!!!

Haha aww thanks Samwiseheart :) I just know our stress head here has worked so hard for her and her h2b's wedding day and she has had so many ups and downs... I just want her to have the day she has worked for and her silly h2b needs to see he's got an awesome lady and do anything to marry her!

Hey stressed,

A few things worry me about this thread (and previous threads). Firstly the fact that your not even having a hen do so for him to spend £1500 on spending money alone for his is extreme. Secondly, yep this is selfish especially when you asked to have a joint do abroad with him. Thirdly if you postpone will he not want another stag do/ weekend nearer the new wedding date? Or if you cancel what is this trip abroad for him actually for?

Just a few things that crossed my mind.

Hope you get it sorted out, so it's more equal.

xxx

That really isn't fair, Hun. Huge hugs, it really does sound like he needs to get his priorities sorted, if he wants to marry you he will do the right thing.

The first thing that should be scaled down when wedding budgets are becoming a worry are the stag and hen does. You sacrificed your own plans, he needs to seriously do the same. If he honestly can't see that it isn't fair to bull head his way through this just so he can have his lads weekend then maybe he needs to think about whether he should be getting married at all. He is a grown man and needs to realise there are more important things that a weekend with his mates. Especially one that needs £1.5k spending money!

Show him this thread if you like. Link it to him while you aren't around... If he doesn't listen to you maybe he will listen to all of us on here who are saying that it isn't acceptable and he needs to have a think about why exactly he is doing this.

hes goin for 5 days on his stag do its allready booked and paid for in full just has to save for his spends he wanted 2k but i said no he got face on and said hell have to manage with 1.5k.

we both pay for the wedding i usually put all my money for wedding as he pays bills etc so only fair i pay what i earn on wedding. i dont usually give him it i usually just pay something on the wedding.

honeymoon has to be paid by end of jan his spends need to be saved for beginin of april and other things we have untill say beginning of april too x

ok ive had a quick read through and heres my advice (as i see it, dont know what u have paid for already)

the cake u can get from marks and sparks like the others have said if u dont want a plain iced u can get chocolate ones for 200 which look lovely! have a quick peek with ur h2b and see what he thinks,
flowers i would cut down on the amount u need or size of the bouquets or even consider getting silk as they r cheaper, again get h2b to look through this with u,
entertainment im sure u can get cheaper depending on what ur having, we r having a dj which is costing 210! most come in around the 250 300 mark, do a search for cheaper entertainment and c what u can come up with,
also the stag do, 1500?! whats he actually doing?! he seriously needs to consider what matters more, partying because hes due to get married or actually getting married! i know u have spoken to him about this so will leave that,

basically what im getting from what u said is he wants to do everything properly which everybody would love to im sure but when u have kids etc it is soo hard to actually get it like that cos there is always gonna be something that comes up such as trips etc, i have 4 kids so know exactly how it is, we r not having a honeymoon, not even having hen or stag dos unless friends take us out, whats most important is the fact we get married and everything else after is what we can afford, and ive changed the date a couple of times also so know how u feel but this time for me its not an option, im gonna find a way of making it happen no matter what!

he needs to think about not just what he wants but what u want aswell, yes he wants to do things properly and yes he wants the honeymoon and the stag do etc but all that comes with a wedding and if he has that there isnt a wedding so he needs to get his priorities right and do what makes u happy aswell as himself, wake up and smell the coffee springs to mind!

hope u get it sorted soon and he sees some sense! we all want the perfect everything but life isnt perfect and neither is anyone, we all have to learn to compromise and c the perfect in what we have already x

and also if he wants to get it all the way he wants then let him do all the stressing, hes just putting the pressure on himself! sounds to me like hes being a bit selfish x

I would have a serious discussion about whether getting married, or 'doing it properly' is the biggest priority. I'm having what I know will be a lovely wedding, for less than £700...

I just want to point out that it's a bit harsh him saying you don't have any friends. If the shoe was on the other foot would he let you spend so much on a hen? Let him find his own spending money! If he doesn't have enough then it's tough! He knows how you disapprove so why is he expecting you to give him money towards it?! Getting married properly doesn't mean spending a fortune.x

I'm sorry, but I only have four little words:

PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN!!

If he is not willing to compromise then why on earth should you?? You seem to be the one making all the sacrifices while he gets his way and I find it very unfair!

If it were me in your position I wouldn't have allowed him the extravagant stag do in the first place, but I'd also consider cancelling the honeymoon and booking something cheaper with the view to going on the expensive one when we could afford it! Plenty of people go on honeymoon months after the wedding! In fact, last weekend a friend of mine got married and he was back to work the following Wednesday!

1.5K on a stag do!!!!!!!!!! :O thats shocking! tell him he needs to cut down on that!!

xx

for £1500 can he also take my h2b on a stag do cos he's adamant he's not having one

oh no, I hope you can sort things out. Is there no way round the whole stag do thing? If its already been paid for can he not just go with a bit less cash? Then you could look at doing things for a bit less?

Hope you're ok

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

stag do is paid for in full i paid it off a few weeks ago when i got paid he has £150 away allready for his spends honeymoon is booked and paid £600 on it.

hes not intrested one bit on cancelling his stag do and im not one bit intrested in any sh*t hes got to say for all i care he can *uck off on his stag do and not bother coming bac.

last time we spoke a few days ago he said we can mange it but we really gunna struggle but we can do it.

i didnt reply because i seriousley dont give a shit me heads tellin me to walk but this stupid god dam heart isnt lettin me...

i have spent two nights workin out what money we'd get bac if i rang and cancelled everything and im 98% there on doin it its only gunna take one more thing to flip me out.and that fing might just happen today or if not definetly tomorrow will happen. ive had enough of been made to feel like shit and worth;ess and at bottom of his priorties.i do belive he loves me but i also belive he has no respect or anything towards me.