I'm so sorry to hear that, you have to do whats best for you. No one should make you feel worthless. Have you told him how you feel? do you think his reaction would change if he thought you were on the verge of leaving him? Maybe he'll buck up and realise what he could lose.

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yerh for about a day or two then go bac to been how he is.x

I'm really sorry to be so blunt, but no one should have to feel the way that you do! I appreciate the fact that you have children to this man, and that you have been together for many years, but even after all this time you should still feel appreciated, that you're the most important person in the world and that you could never be replaced! I'm actually crying for you!!

I wish I could tell you what to do,but no one can make a decision for you... but you deserve to feel appreciated!

am sorry if u cancel the weddin he cancls the stag do smple.... if weddin cant go ahead he cant have stag do, hes a very selfish man by all accounts that i am readin, who spends that amouunt on a stag do anyway???

I'll keep my fingers crossed that he does the right thing hun!

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I think thats very good of you, I'd be the same. Although I would be heartbroken to let go of it :-( you can always save up for another sparkler after the wedding day xxxxxxxx

2k on a ring and ure skint!!!!!!!!!!!! woman wat was u thinkin lol we are spending about £800 on both of ours!!!

I can't believe i just read this, 4 words spring to mind what a selfish man.

Glad you worked it out, did you pay towards your ring as well?? My H2B asked if I would contribute to that when we were talking early days, I said no chance as it was his commitment to me that he buy the e ring, and if I said yes then the wedding rings would be joint purchase - as it is he wants to get his grandad's ring re-sized and wear that, so it's only mine to buy - which makes it technically half price for me! Woohoo! And try to get to the jewellery quarter for your ring, he only paid 55% of the price of my e ring and they put the full price on the valuation certificate (I know cos I chose it while he was there!)

as rihanna says 'want u 2 make me feel, like im the only girl in the world! if ur man doesnt do that then u need to talk, i personally wouldnt want to sell the ring as i think u have agreed to enough of the things he wants and if he doesnt like this i would state everything that was his idea, the stag, the honeymoon etc and tell him where were u in all of these thoughts/ideas?

if he manages to borrow money so he can have his stag and u can have ur ring then fine thats his problem to deal with then, but it sounds like to me he has issues with himself, the fact he thinks ur trying to control him and not let him go out or have fun etc have u asked him why he wants to marry u?? whatever the answer be i would tell him well just remember that as if ur that bad as to not let him out and control him then why would he even walk down the aisle?? he needs a kick up the a4se thats for sure lol sorry to say that bought ur h2b but i wouldnt put up with half of what u have, hope u get it sorted soon x

I really hope he goes through with not having a stag night, as you deserve more and better. x

i`m really gobbsmacked that he needs £1500 for 5 days in vegas ......just for spending , we go over there everyyear for a week and dont spend that ....i presume that is his money to gamble with ?. now dont get me wrong we gamble ..... well mr lala does i dont but he sets himself a limit for his gambling money each day ...$100, this come from his wages and not from household money.

just been telling mr lala about this and he thinks your other half is a total disgrace ( he put it stronger than that but i could possible type what he said)

I really hope it works out for you. I agree with lala's other half, a complete disgrace and unless he comes back with triple the amount he went with, £300 a day is a bit excessive.x

If you can afford it and not struggle then it's not a problem spending loads. But borrowing money off others and struggling to feed your kids just so you can go and gamble loads of money isn't on.x

i havent read all the posts but i know we cant afford a honeymoon once we get married so thats not even in our budget even though we would love to go somewhere but at the momnet id just be happy being mrs mcadam without all the extra bits.

Any news today love? Did he keep his promise? I hope you've managed to sort it.xx

Babe, I haven't really spoke to you much before, but that might be a good thing as that means I am an unbiased outsider. I got something to say to you. I don't think this man is right for you. From what you have said, I don't think he has EVER put you first. Why is he marrying you if he treats you like that? I will tell you why... Because he knows he can get away with it! You are letting him wear you down babe. Why are you getting so stressed about his health, when it is his own fault he is getting stressed. I guarantee you, that he is making you more stressed than he is making himself stressed. You seem like such a lovely person, always putting him first and putting yourself last. From what I have read, I think you deserve much better. I know you love him, but tell me honestly, does he make you happy? I would expect a partner to make their partner happy at least 60% of the time. What person in their right mind thinks it is acceptable to put a STAG DO above making his wife happy and appreciated? What sort of person cares more about having a holiday without you than their honeymoon with the person they love? I will tell you who... a man who only cares about himself. He cannot love you if he is being like that. I am sorry babe, but that is my conclusion based on reading this discussion. I hope you are ok hun. xxxxxx (hugs)

no he didnt take the ring as was with me at the hospital. but i took it myself on tuesday and they offered me £100 lmfao dont think so cost £2k. but i told him anyway what price they said and he said hope u told em to f*** off put it on ebay so i put it on facebook with intention to add it to ebay but he went crazy tellin me tio take it off facebook.which after half hour or so of lettin him sweat it out i did.then when he came home he told me i dont want u to sell your ring cause i know how much u love it despite what i said when i was angry.

as for the spending money yes every bit of it is to gamble with well most of it there is some for food and drinks but his words where
"this is my last blow out holiday with lads and i wanna go gamble without having to worry and be moaned at about it i dont wanna watch what i have to spend i wanna blow all lot if i win i win and if i dont i dont ill have enjoyed myself"

can i just add that he didnt want me to go to benidorm for my hen do but only told me this the other day,he wouldnt have stopped e and he wouldnt have said anything to me he said. but if id have known i wouldnt have gone if it had still been on. when i hear him talking to his mates theres all these plans to do stuff but when i ask his only plan is to gamble and drink but convos ive heared so far are helicopter over grand canyon some racing thing thats supposed to be there....

he says hes not going and is going to cancel but i dont belive him one bit,he also hasnt told any of the lads that he isnt going now either which says alot.

haha kerri u must have read my mind cause ive planned in my head if he goes i will cancel everything get what i can refunded and i will NOT be here when he comes bac!!!

we been together as u know nearly 15 yrs but he actually didnt settle down and stop goin out untill 5yrs ago.

he has been to cyprus with teh lads when we had been together a yr he has over the yrs been to blackpool amsterdam weymouth or what ever its called days out with lads to races/flyin in a plane somewhere/theme parks went to another place but just cant remember what it was blinking called. and i dont just mean once to these places i mean dozens of times.

i have stopped him goin somewhere once and that was when i was pregnant with my first child and the weekend i was due he was goin to go to blackpool for weekend and in end i said no and he didnt go and i went into labour on the sat night as he would have gone the sat morning.good job i said no want it or hed have missed her birth....

up untill 5 nearly 6 yrs ago he was out every weekend sometimes not even comin home from work on a friday till early hours sat morning this happend nearly if not every weekend for yrs.

he even went to work for someone i begged him not to go work for as hed been txtin his daughter but still went despite my tears shouting and protest including working away for him.

the list goes on and i think this is part of my depressiona nd sadness that its harder to get over and forget about even after all these yrs.

I feel really sorry for you, this is suppose to be a happy time for both of you. To be honest, I would of left him years ago but love is a strange thing. The one thing you have to consider is, will he be the same after you are married? He does sound very selfish and I reckon he might not change, but I don't know him, so only you can make this decision. I hope you can both sort things out.

Ataraxia, I love the Peter Pan metaphor!

this is infuriating to read let alone deal with, i agree with u if he goes by all means sell everything, get money back and move! in his statement that hes said he wants to have one last blow out b4 being married and enjoy himself, i will say it again, HE wants to enjoy HIMSELF, what about what YOU and your KIDS want/need!! He is being very unreasonable especially as u say he has gone out loads of weekends and to places with friends on mulitple occasions, when does he actually put u first or has he ever?? its gonna take more than a wedding to make him grow up and realise he should be making u all happy aswell as himself, not just him. I sympathise with u on this and hope u stick 2 ur guns. i would say men who have got away with it all this time will not c a need to change cos u have put up with it for so long, but u need to make him c its not gonna happen anymore and u wont put up with it so he either wants u or doesnt, good luck x

wens he goin? u onyl get a percentage back and 2 months to date u get nowt i dont think hun!

Also, I forgot to ask, has he always been like this? Or when did he start becoming selfish and wearing you down? xxx

I couldn't marry a man like that!