Just a little rant / opinions request here girls! I've booked a london wedding for next summer, it's a pretty big venue with a minimum number we signed up for (50 on worst case scenario I was hoping to get 70). Turns out most of h2B's family aren't going to come, only his immediate. He's not British and they say they can't afford it. Similar scenario for my family- only immediate family but because the rest can't be bothered.
Now seriously considering cancelling it. The room hire is SO expensive and the wedding was going to be between £15-20K and its just not worth it for the numbers remaining. Of those who will definitely come its more like 40 now.
Now considering a beach 'elopement' by ourselves. We'd lose around £1500 in lost deposits but would save more in the long run.
Anyone else having similar issues?! :-(
CommentAuthorSam
Wow, this sounds familiar to my situation. H2B is British and I'm an American. No matter where we have the wedding someone's family is going to miss out. If we have a wedding in America my family will show up in force and only a core amount of his will be able to attend and vice versa for a UK wedding. At the moment we are doing preliminary planning and research on doing a small elopement in a neutral location (ie one that it would be hard for either family to travel to). We can always do a blessing/celebration in the UK later. It will be cheaper than a wedding but still allow for families and friends to get together and celebrate. You are not alone in this situation and I totally understand your desire to elope. I hope you and your H2B can find a solution soon.
CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
I was going to suggest if there was another venue you could go to where numbers were not an issue, but you would still lose the deposit.
Our wedding day - 6 October 2012
CommentAuthorLauraJo87
I see what you mean, 15-20 k is a lot to spend for only a relatively small wedding.
It's up to you Hun, you could always do the beach thing and throw a party when you get back xx
My Beating Heart Belongs To You
30 August 2013
The First Day Of My Happily Ever After
CommentAuthorMrs B
Agree, it's a lot of money to spend! If there are cheaper options I would perhaps think of doing that! Is th venue you currently have local? X
Could you elope and then just have a party at the venue when you get back so you don't lose deposits?
CommentAuthorMrsK2b
I was going to say the same as tori. Would you be able to do that? X
Cant wait until I become Mrs K
CommentAuthorTatty
We are having a similar problem, our venue also has a minimum of 50 however we spoke to them and they said as long as we still pay for 50 they don't mind if only 10 turn up. I just don't want to add extra people for the sake of making up numbers x
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CommentAuthorLulu1388
I would suggest something similar to what Tori has suggested? is that something you could do? or is it something you WANT to do? x
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CommentAuthorOfficially Mrs M
wow hun if that is what you want to do then go and do it. if your numbers aren't enough then you do what your heart tells you to do as that is always what is right
8th September 2012 I married my best friend
1st September 2014 our little family grew by one
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CommentAuthorNicholaP44
We r going away 2 get married, saves a lot of hastle 4 those that cant come. although we r having a big recption once we r bak. x
Marrying "the 1" on 4th Oct 2013
CommentAuthorlizzylou
It's a tricky situation. I think i'd seriously consider cancelling. As you say, you'd lose your deposit but save a lot in the long run. Perhaps try and find a smaller venue and have a smaller day? Give yourself plenty of time to think about it though as it's a big decission. IF you're not paying for it all yourselfs then also discuss it everyone involved. Hope you work it out. xxxx
Lizzy. x
CommentAuthormillz090
Its so hard when your families arent local - slightly different situation but my family and H2B's family are 120 miles and we decided to get married at my home so all his family are having to travel down. They are doing it as want to be there but hotel is £180 for 2 nights, plus petrol, hen and stag do's, present, outfits, etc it all adds up and i feel so guilty everyone is having to save up for our wedding as we are costing people money. However if we picked to get married in Birmingham then my family would have to travel and cost them so either way someone would lose out so we went with our hearts and picked what we wanted to do. My advice is go with what you want to do and if you want this London wedding then go with it but equally if you want a beach then go for it girl. However try not to be disappointed if some people cant come as its hard for people travelling and paying out and some people just dont have the money and cant always save it xxx
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CommentAuthorMrsE 2b
edited
Thanks girls I can understand why some people can't make it- especially his cousins who are young and don't hv much money- but his aunts and uncles I really thought would make the effort! I'm from north of England but live in London and thought a london wedding would make people attend as they could combine it with a vacation.
I wouldn't mind having a small wedding but the place I've booked would look a bit empty and the room hire alone is £4200 (3500 plus VAT) which is insane for so few people!!!
I think if we cancel we'll just do a beach wedding-moon, literally by ourselves. I've spent god knows how many hours planning this wedding and can't cope with planning another here on a smaller scale :-(
CommentAuthorTHE nice bridezilla
hi
i understand what your saying, but my opinion is if your dream wedding is in this venue and you have spent hours planning it and dreaming of it. then i think do it. you only get married once and if your anything like me you spent ages looking at venues and options.
You may find that people do actually want to come. i have the same problem, i live in the south west and we have people coming over from OZ. When it comes to it family really do want to be there and are maybe being awkward.
Good luck in what ever you decided, just make sure its really what you and h2b really want, cos you really only get one run at this so make it perfect for you not anybody else.
xxx
CommentAuthorLilyB39
just have a small wedding first, if you plan to visit his place, you can have a gathering to celebrate your wedding, no point wasting so much money
CommentAuthorJanie
not in this situation myself but i would say do anything YOU want, if so many people cant make it anyway then does it matter so much? you have to do something that is going to make you happy
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