This is going to be long so really Sorry!

Ok So this last year has been the year from hell.. h2b has a son from a previous relationship and one which is going threw dna! His ex has really put so much pressure on us.. and none wont allow either of us esp h2b to see his son! he pays via csa every week and we put money aside a week i also post cards etcs 2 her home birthdays etc.. was told she had moved and wouldnt be given out her address! first stress so as u can imagine h2b has no idea where his son is! We cant live together yet as shes said if he lives with me then he wont see him! and makes the situation so much harder! :-(
So obv we had are car accident in may.. havent worked gone to alot of appts having physio the usual stuff! Fine! I dont speak 2 h2b step dad or sisters.. due 2 wedding talk bridesmaids etc caused a massive argument! and they just will no talk 2 me!
My Mum has been quite ill going threw treatment is in remission for cancer and having issues agin she wanted a part time job to keep busy which could only get one in my area! shes been staying at my home every night which was lovely 2 start off but i feel i dont get no me time i sound a cow bag i also have a son from a previous relationship and love my own space! People have commented on how i talk 2 h2b sometimes which recently Ive just been feeling so low and feel ive no escape he comes everyday my mum is here all the time.. My brother made a comment i gave the marriage 2 months! or h2b will do a runner before the day obv last night i was heartbroken havent slept and feel Im totally rubbish!

Also my dad and me have had a massive fallen out i called him 2 see if he had sent my son a birthday card 2 which he said yeah theres 20 pound in it hes lucky 2 get that i was so shocked as hes in belfast im in england! I feel this wedding is more stress than enough altho ive booked my flights 2 cyprus and paid for wedding hotel brought my dress shoes h2b ring book photographer i just dont no if i wanna cancel it all and see what happeneds! Im fed up.. also Having to go threw all of that ive had some issues regarding downstairs my mum had 2 have her womb out at 24 same age i am have passed out a few times and lost alot of blood and obv im now being told having my womb out my be my only opition! Ok great so me n h2b may or may not be able 2 have children we tryed before the wedding for a year and nothing happened! :'( i feel a total waste of space! Im in tear typing this because i dont no what 2 do 2 make everyone happy! I NEVER get a night alone. i feel im just here 2 cook dinners wash clothes and be a mum! when my life is so much more! Ive spoken 2 my doctor and he said planning a wedding is a stressful time. But surely Not this much stress! If i was to cancel the wedding i no id loose it all.. i could still go 2 cyprus on holiday I Love my h2b and would love nothing more 2 b his wife! But its unfair.. right now with how im treating him, and how my life has become 2 make others happy when really im not happy at all :'(

Sorry if i sound awful.

x

GOsh you really are having a time of it right now.

In regards to having a baby, have you discussed the issue that you may not have children with your H2B and if so how does he feel about it? Unfortunately, things like that often run in the family. I hope you get it sorted out.

If there is so much family upset at the moment, just you and H2B go and get married. Have a couple of witnesses and just do a small affair.

Thank You glitterfairy :-) H2b has always said he isnt with me 2 have children they would be a bonus But hes happy 2 b my husband and enjoy the children we have between us! :-) ( I Had my son young)

He said about just going cyprus but i think it would break my mums heart if she wasnt there i no i need 2 talk 2 her too just because ive choosen him 2 b my h2b and we should be enjoying life Lol xxx

Thank You amy Im off 2 portugal in just under 4 weeks so really needing that and will think all while im away! xx

Oh huni BIG BIG hugs you have so much going on but like it has been said time for just you is required as is time with H2B.

I wouldnt make any rash choices about cancelling but maybe prosponing maybe something to talk about, you clearly love H2B but sometimes when so much otehr stuff is going on you need to asses the priorities and making sure u, H2B and ur family are happy and settle seems to be ur focus at the moment xx

Hope it all gets sorted and the result you want enjoy portugal and just relax xxx

Luckily you have a holiday in 4 weeks. It might be helpful to hide away the wedding planning and avoid calls from family and cocoon a little right now. Try to reduce the stress you have starting now.

Thank You Ladies been doctors and he said i wasnt depressed obv this year just isnt my year Lol i lve h2b no question! Just hate the stress around us his ex,family etc etc!! But actually after spending a weekend with him and obv weve both agreed to this marriage and we both have 2 find a way of de stressing! Ive got some great friends so they have been great Im a control freak really so hate having no control of h2b not seeing his son etc.. All i can say is im off on my holiday n going to relax and enjoy some me time :-) Thank u all for ur help but a marriage/being in a relationship is a working progress!
And i should be lucky im marrying such an amazing man! Just a shame so must has happened this year.

xxx

Kirsty big hugs...we all have bad times but you sound like your in need of abit of YOU time and time to think.Unfortunatley being a mum you dont get much time and it makes it harder with your h2b not living with you.Concentrate on the wedding which is what you want the most dont let akward family members spoil it.Your mum sounds like a strong lady and wish her well,just ask for alittle space an hour or so to have long bath or just chill.Im sure she will understand.All these things little things will seem ten times worse as weddings and getting that day we all want isnt easy,straightforeward or without stress.People who you think are calm can even stress out.
For whatever reasons your not confident and im not either but you do deserve your h2b and happiness which will come.We all say things we dont really mean from time to time and im sure he understands.Things will get better :-)
xx