I need some advice as I'm feeling really rubbish and think we might need to cancel the wedding because of money. We bought our house in September and our mortgage payments are high. This isn't a problem as we both has good jobs, but it does mean our saving power is limited. We'd worked out we could budget £8,000 for the wedding. I have a huge, really close family and there is no way I could not have them there. We've already booked the ceremony and waiting to hear back about the reception. But the budget is tight.

Tonight on the way home from work my car has died. Totally. I took it to 2 garages and both told me the same thing, it needs a total rebuild of the engine, plus new clutch and gear box. The age of the car means its not worth it, so now I need a new car. I have a 50 mile round commute to work, so need a reliable one that won't keep costing me more. So that takes a huge chunk out of our budget.

After speaking to H2B (works away in the military during the week) I phoned FIL2B as he has leant us money in the past. But it turns out he has split with his partner (H2B doesn't know this yet, so I have to tell him tonight) so needs to buy himself somewhere to live. So I can't ask him for any money.

I am sat here thinking that there is no way we can afford it all. And this added pressure of the family breakdown. I don't know what to do. :(

As Lala said don't be so quick to cancel sweetie, scale back and diy as much as you can, network with your friends they may be able to do something for you or know someone who can at a cheaper price. Chin up and wedding on xx

Thank you so much Lala, that is really sweet of you!

The thing is we're already using the military church and reception venue as they are cheaper. My Dad is doing the flowers, sister in law the cake. But I have a really big family and we are really close. We spend new year and summers together, and all my aunts and cousins are so excited about the wedding. So I have to invite them all. And I can't ask them to pay for themselves. The only things we need to pay for are the reception, outfits, evening do and stuff like that. The venue does the place names. I can do the invitations probably. My brother is collecting pine cones and ever green closer to the time (December) for table decorations. I can't really see what else to cut back on.

There are a few brides on here who have invited all those who want to come to the ceromony, but fewer to the wedding breakfast? That way the people who want to see you get married can do and you can have a smaller wedding breakfast...I don't know if this is an option for you, it thought I'd add it in to the mix.

Like others had said, don't be too hasty, is their anybody else who could loan you the money?

If not, maybe you should explain to some of your family that although you would love to have them there, budget doesn't permit it?

I do hope you get something sorted xx

Scrap drinks packages and have a cash bar? Also do away with canapés and favours...at the end of the day, no one ever said 'well, that was a lovely weding. But the lack of canapés spoiled it' did they?

Xx

bless ya, i feel for you! wedding budgeting can be a nightmere.
we have basically cut back one verything we can and I am making loads myself, from flower girls dresses, to venue decorations, my own sparkly shoes, the cake,
we are having a buffet, using my MOH's car not a fancy one etc.

we are both thrifty anyway and I dont even wanna pay £150 for my dress as I think it crazy for soemthing i will wear once lmao

(i know i am cheap ha ha)

I really hope you didnt think i was having a go, i was trying to say that there will be ways you can cut back, it depends on whats on your list of MUST HAVE'S.
we made notes on paper, post it notes or strips with blu tack, of all the different elements we wanted, then we slwoly went through and said oh well i can live without that, and threw that bit in the bin...
we got a photographer for £200 for just a disc, we plan to print our own later, we figured once everyones looked at them an album just gets stuck away in a drawer anyway,
we are making our own buffet too (yes we are mad)

so it depends how many cut backs you can or are willing to make etc....

we got Bs cocktail dressed for under £8 each, tiaras for £3 each for them, theyre buying own shoes. Flower girls are buying thier won shoes. Men we are getting shirts ties and waistcoats, theyre buying own trousers and shoes...things like that...
no open bar either, it is a paid bar, we arent even putting any money behind the bar as people know we dont have it...

it isnt ideal, i admit i wanted a nicer reception venue than a working mens club, but we cant do that.
we are going to a stunning town hall for the ceremony, our comprimise on the country hall we wanted lol

Do you have things you can sell at boot sales etc? any skills you can make use of?
I sell knitted and crocheted things i make, doesnt make a lot but is a little help.
I dont know what else to suggest. It is such a massive worry, and I know how you feel, our date was put back once as we couldnt even afford the £1000 !!!

you can move the ceremony time to late in the afternoon and just put a buffet on for them instead of a wedding breakfast, you can save thousands that way. our evening buffet was £10 per head and we had 100 people to you can get that down to £1000

Jamie how the hell u feeding 145 n all the weddin for less than a grand??

So sorry to hear your in this situation. Could you perhaps have an afternoon tea instead of a sit down meal? Loads of cakes, sandwiches etc would make it alot cheaper xx

We did our wedding for around 4k. Its definitely do-able although it may mean you looking for a package deal and scaling back your plans.

There are lots of things you can save on - and it is great your family are so close, and helping too :) Don't cancel yet, things will work out :)

Janie - I tried to look at your album hun but it won't let me? xx

O hun :/ my advice would be speak with your ceremony venue as I assumed have already but a deposit on it and see if they can hold the deposit but push the date back slightly giving you more time to spread it out.. I have cut costs by askiing BMs to pay for own dresses and ushers to pay for there suit hire. That was £500 saved off the bat. Plus all venues are fighting for business so negotiate prices with them if they want the business they will bemore than happy to price cut or throw something in for free.. best thing to do would be budget what you think you can afford each month comfortably and then work out how many months it will take you to have the right amount. Its your day but best advice would be have a afternoon wedding only have to feed people once then or opt for aft noon tea rather than sit down we opted for that and. Its saving us £20ph... wish you the best luck xxx

Elinor has already suggested what I was going to. I read in a wedding mag that one bride and groom, for their big day asked their guests to bring desserts/cakes/puddings etc instead of gifts and they had this big massive sweet filled buffet and no extra cost! plenty of cakes and yummies!
So could do something like that, or do it for the whole buffet?

x

Get fake flowers. They're half the price and look just as good. Plus you get to keep your bouquet forever then x x

I can feel your pain. Trouble is, some places just won't let you do your own catering - so you're stuck before you've started :(

i will see what my settings are for my album.

Have you seen the no sew tutu dresses hun??? I plan to MAKE these for my flower girls, ive got the tulle and ribbon and lace at a cost of £7 per dress. I put a photo on here of the ones i am going to be making. Theyre SO simple, honestly i am rubbish at sewing but these are dead easy, you get either a large band of ribbon (as in my the photo) or a corchet kids headband (see second photo) and tie or thread the tulle in strips round the ribbon (or thru the gaps in the headband) and voila (if youre interested i can give more instructions if you wanted.

I personally think they look lush, but i know not to everyones taste.
We are also making tulle flowers and bows instead of buying decorations. we are buying loads of tulle, it can brighten up a dull venue easily and cheaply.
not sure what other ideas we can come up with between us all for you