I went to my grandparents yesterday to give them their wedding invites. When I arrived my Dad was there. I haven't seen him in 3.5 years so it was awkward at best, I didn't even have a chance to get over the shock of him being there (he wasnt due to be) before he got up and left. Not even a word to me. I know that I should have said something, but I was so shocked, but I'm so hurt that he just left, if he had just stayed a little longer maybe we could have talked! We're meant to be trying to have a relationship again, surely that means waiting more than 2 minutes before giving up and walking out without saying a word! Then I give my grandparents the wedding invites (theirs and my dads, he left so quickly I didn't even have a chance to get them out!). And my grandmothers response was to say that my mother (as they are address from her even though I handmade them all) was very cheeky to put happily ever after on the invites, apparently the idea is laughable. Her response caused my granddad to have a bit of a moment and tell her off because they've been married over 50 years so why should we be any less likely to last than them? The big problem is that my dad's family blame my OH for mine and my dad's dispute (which is rubbish but god forbid they look at the actions of my dad as the reason, and that my OH just supports my decisions, no it has to have been his fault) and therefore they're really hateful towards him and against us staying together (well expect my granddad, who is such an amazing person sometimes I think he's the only reason I bother with any of them!) Anyway then the conversation got to my mum, my granddad's always lovely about her, but I get the idea that my grandma's only playing nice and there's still a lot of hostility below the surface, judging by the way she speaks. My sister is still really unhappy with my dad and my dad's new girlfriend is still spreading rumours about my mum wanting to start a fight (which is completely untrue) but the amount she goes on about it, its like she (the gf) wants to start one. I'm just so upset, giving the invites out was supposed to be such a happy moment, and now its just got me all stressed out and worried that my family are just not going to be able to behave properly together and its going to end up in a huge fight / incident on my wedding day and they have to actually be in a room together. I mean if they can't even be nice in a conversation how are they going to be nice face to face!

Argh! I'm sorry this is soo long and rambley. I'm just soo worried that inviting them has been one huge mistake! I was so worried about regretting not inviting them and missing them, that I was completely blinded to how completely dysfunctional and crazy we seem to be as a family! Am I going to end up with a jeremey kyle wedding or can these people actually pull a civilised and happy celebration off?

My dads invite i coming with conditions as well. If he can't stay off the booze he either doesn't come or he'll be leaving early

I hope you've not had to invite your dads girlfriend <_<

Thanks ladies, I think I will have to set the boundaries for them. It's just so immature and annoying. I mean they're adults, if they can't say anything a nice then why not shut up? Why does anything need to be said at all, why not ignore each other and keep away. Just have to hope they actually do what they're asked and don't do the opposite just to be spiteful children. I'm glad I'm not the only one with a bit of dysfunction! And Velcro I did indeed have to invite her - they're going to be married by the time of my wedding (though she has explicitly banned me from hers, but as I'm trying to mend things with my dad, thought I need to be the bigger person)

Awww Hun, I feel your pain! My family are bunch of mental people & no one gets on with eachother!!! I am limiting my numbers to the people I can trust aside from ONE set that I can't get around... My Mum & Dad!! They separated 18 years ago & both have new partners, whom are polar opposites of eachother & dont have a nice word to say about one another!... I am DREADING getting them all together, especially wen my Step-Mum gets on the booze at the reception!... Makes you think that eloping would be a better plan eh?! LOL! xx

Hahaa Donnalisa I'm always trying to sell that one to my OH. The thing I never understand is how my family is mental, and my OH's family (who are also all serparated) still get on fine, even after the problems they have, they still put it all to one side and get on with being a family. I'm starting to think MrsWright has the right idea! Fingers crossed they can behave. My mum sent my dad a list of boundaries today (as an addition to the invite because they came from her) saying that if he came he had to leave my sis alone unless she came to him (which is what she requested) and that they all have to behave and that if he comes he has to accept me and my OH has a couple. And she added that she hopes he will come, and that if he can't accept the boundaries and what's being asked that the only person he will hurt will be me. So hopefully he will listen and still come, and bahve, but I guess I'll just have to wait for the RSVP