Its OHs graduation in a few weeks and obviously afterwards we will go and celebrate with a meal or something. I didn't plan anything as I assumed his parents would but then started panicking as they are very much one to leave OH and only celebrate SILs achievements. (when she got her new job they went out for a meal when she was told she had the job, did her first day and her first pay cheque from them... OHs new job has barely got a well done from them). I mentioned going out for a meal to MIL a month ago and initially the look in her eyes was pure disgust that you would need to do something like that but then she pretended to me that she 'hadn't gotten round to it' and got really excited about it suggesting different possibilities of what we can do so I thought ok, yeah you hadn't thought about it but now you are going to do it and be into it.

Last weekend we finalised who he wanted to come and where it was going to be and what time and we both left for the week expecting her to call and book the meal.
Got home yesterday and she said are we going to book that, we need to decide what you want to do so I said we finalised that last week and you was going to book and she looked at me like I was from another planet.. I was fuming and told her exactly what was decided the week before and she walked away saying ok ill look at it in the week. I grabbed the phone and called to book as at this point I didn't trust her to do it. The restaurant he wanted couldn't accommodate us until 9pm which is too late so I the scoured round trying to find other nice restaurants which do only english food for it (grandparents wont eat anything else) finally found somewhere and booked it in and then she pipes up saying I used to go there quite often.

Am I in the wrong for being really angry and frustrated towards her about this. She treats SIL like a princess who can do no wrong but OH gets the bare minimum from them. They do care for him etc but other than that there is no through process into his life. She also doesn't think she needs to dress smart for his graduation! SIL asked if it was a dress up meal and I said its up to you, we will all be dressed smart but you don't have to so its up to you and MIL said well OH will be smart. it feels like she doesn't care and is only coming and doing it because she feels forced to!

He had his Police Attestation about 18 months ago and we both wanted to celebrate it because again it was a massive achievement and he had met one of his life goals but instead she didn't want to go for dinner so got him a sandwich from a super market for dinner... that is no way to celebrate. SIL gets a certificate from college and they go out for a meal to celebrate.

She treats them both like black and white and it feels like he is always black...


Am I in the wrong for not liking her at the moment and wanting nothing to do with her?

There's nothing that anyone can do I don't think but it really frustrates me and sometimes I think that its me in the wrong for feeling like this.

Thank you x

You're not in the wrong at all. At least you can vent on here and talk to us :) xx

I was treated differently to my brother by our Nanna when I was younger. It really hurt my feelings. It's not nice xx

I'm sure he will have a fab time celebrating regardless xx

I have a friend who had a similar experience. She was the first in her family to go to uni and got no fuss, but when her sister got her place on a PGCE she got so much excitement from her mum. When my friend rang her parents to say that she had been awarder her PhD, the response from her mum was "oh right, when are you going to be home to drive me to Tesco?" You'll just have to give him what his family don't.

Kirsty, you have hit the nail on the head there. It's that there are some things that I would have thought parents should do. This being one of them and it's just quite sad. He said to me does that mean I'm paying for my own graduation meal and I said yes. Which made him feel like doing my other option. If she wasn't bothered about it when I first mentioned it to her I was going to book a really nice restaurant just for us. More expensive than we could afford for everyone but if just the 2 of us we could for a special

He's the first born so that idea is lost.

Thank you all for your support. At least I know I'm not out of order. I know there's nothing I can do but.. It's just not nice seeing it

Now there's a blatant case of favouritism. Hate that! I totally see where you're coming from, your poor OH.

Congratulations anyway and I'm sure you'll have a lovely time celebrating x

It is so horrible. Your friends situation sounds worse though Elinor.

I will just make sure that I spoil him rotten x he does deserve it, x

He definitely sounds like he deserves to be spolit. Feel so sorry for him.

yip my in laws are the same....his sister got new job a bottle of champers was out, she got pregnant champers, baby born champers......he got engaged and 2 and a half years later still no congrats...he got a new job with a huge pay rise and there was barely a well done. they all work in the same industry but its my man who has to travel an hour each way every weekend and sometime durign the week to pick up the slack when his dad cant meet demand inhis business depsite his siter living literaly across the road. I knwo exactly how you feel xx