h2b works with my brother and yesterday i could not believe what my brother said. he said when he proposes to his gf hes not even going to start planning for like 3 years so he knows how much he can save etc so he can have a bigger better day than ours will be . we looked into having a big day as its what we initially wanted but after working out our budget we realised if we wanted to do that it would take about 3 years just to save for the venue/food, we didnt want to wait that long so are having the wedding we are now having.
he basically said ours wont be as good as theres will as we just jumped into it and didnt save anything before hand (we had to postpone once already due to funds) so were doing everything cheap. a £1500 dress and £1200 rings is not what i would call being cheap. weve spent it where it was necessary.
i just cant believe my brother would say things like that.

he has 2 children, he doesnt live with his gf, and tbh i dont think he really realises how much a wedding costs.
we didnt want to pay £6500 on food when my family would probably only turn up for the food and not to celebrate our wedding. i purely dont see the point in a sit down meal

Your day will be fab kimi - Don't let him upset you.

IK posted a thread in Aug about h2b's boss who was competing with us over our wedding (the one who spent triple what we have) and she just looked miserable when we saw her as she had planned things way too much!

Aww hun, try and ignore his comments. Until he is actually in the position of planning his own wedding he won't realise what is involved and also that quite simply it isn't all about the show it is about the joining and celebration of that and as a couple you don't want to wait (though nothing against those who do of course). It is good that he is talking about saving, although he may want to start now! lol.

I was reading an article last night on budget breakdowns and other stuffs, it compared the 'average' to the general 'actual' costs involved (£17k+ for the average in comparison to the £5k+ for the actual), I nearly fell off my my sofa when I looked at the prices that were allotted, and how many couples go for the DIY option on many of the parts of wedding as they don't want to start their married life in severe debt, as most couples have other outgoings to consider as well as a wedding to pay for. They were using mid-range venues, about 80 guest day/150-200 evening, 3 course meal, usual doings and no celeb style extras added either, it was mad!

Oh and not forgetting, it all depends on what his potential bride to be wants too ;o).

Don't listen to him hun!! at the end of the day if he's like a typical man he won't really be involved with the planning anyway and his gf might not even want a big flashy wedding. as some of the ladies said, saving for anything these days is near enough impossible. its good that he's being sensible about it all but seems like its a loooong way off

N xx

I agree totally with what everyone else has said. You are having the day you want and can afford and for that it will be your best day. A fantastic wedding cannot be measured in terms of the money spent on it and as long as it is what you want, it will be amazing. I have been to two weddings other than my own this summer and one of them had alot of money spent on it (as we were made only too well aware). Take a zero off and you had our budget. Both were great for those involved, even though the couple from the expensive wedding couldn't lower themselves to coming to our lower budget affair. At the end of the day, you will have a great wedding and your brother will have a great time paying the bills for his.

You should tell him you're in it for the marriage not the wedding day. Maybe that'll make him realise it's not a competition.

I haven't read all the comments but straight off I can tell you this now, as im sure many of the others brides will agree, it is not about how much you spend on the day its about how you have your special day, and more importantly, how the couple are with each other... if they are in love and happy then that will make the day ten times as special as any budget can buy, guests will see how happy they are and will be happy for them so straight off your brother can go do one in my opinion!
Now im going to read what the other lovely ladies have said....

Glitterfairy has hit the nail on the head there, the smaller the wedding the more personal. Its about what you do not what you spend. He has no clue if he reckons he can blow his budget just like that!
Half the time the most lavish and extravagant weddings are the most tacky!
£1500 on a dress is not cheap at all my lovely so dont you worry your pretty little bridal head about it! Just ignore him, your marrying the man you love and your day will be amazing.
He's just jealous your getting there before him and that you are so happy and content with your life :) xx

ours is ridiculous per head, bit more than 75 im afraid however, the choices are amazing and because we have a small party it isnt cost an arm and a leg, but it also includes their evening buffet food as well plus drinks and some other things. to some itll be a lot of money however for what we get it works out a lot cheaper than 'cheaper' venues... we've 'splurged' on the venue but thats about it, we're not going for £1-2k cakes or loads of over the top decorations or things like that... the venue will speak for itself you know? x

yeh some venues really can rip you off, saying x amount for a 3 course meal, then when you sit down, thats not including drinks, specific meal choices, also.... one venue we looked at supposedly came in £2k cheaper (overall), but we would have to provide our own chair sashes, drinks, separate buffet price, and I think she mentioned something about providing cutlery, chairs, extra tables things like that....
Working it out I think it came to averaging just under £100 per head, but that inc like I said, venue hire, 3 different rooms, 4 course meal, 5-6 choice buffet on the evening, 3 toast drinks, canapes were a little extra for reception, as well as chair sash colours to match theme, ake stand/knife, bridal suite, all the standard usual inclusive offers, etc. we also have to have the fish AND meat option plus veg so have to charge a little extra for that. So does sound alot however get your moneys worth indeed.

Im sorry to hear that the quality of food was so poor, Im sort of looking forward to our tasting! For some reason we have a 'sorbet' course and we can have WHATEVER flavour we like, people have had champagne, strawberry, mint, popping candy etc etc!

Spreadsheets are the way forward in any wedding i tell you that!! I'm going excel crazy haha x

I would tell him that as part of cutting your costs and the fact he has said your wedding will be no good and his will be better your not inviting him and your having someone else take his place who actually wants to be there xx

the way his relationship is with her i cant see them getting married. if they do it wont last.