Wedding Forum - Bridesmaid/sister...

Your sister sounds very similar to mine. I'd tell her she has to wear whatever you choose. It's your day and not hers, it's not your fault her day got cancelled so she should be happy for you. If she chooses that she doesn't want to wear it then I'd tell her she can't be bridesmaid. Sorry if it sounds a bit harsh xx

I'm not surprised she's winding you up. It's got nothing to do with her who gives you away it's not her day. If it was her day then it would be different she can have who she likes. Have you sat her down and spoke to her about all the issues? X

It's not that easy, she knows she is stronger headed then I am, she said about those wrap dresses, I checked out reviews and to be honest they really put me off plus my other bridesmaids, she completely changed then, swearing at me, telling me I shouldn't of read the reviews, I am happy to accommodate and would like to know they all feel comfortable but every dress she is objecting to.

I can't really sit and talk to her as she lives 60 miles away and don't really want to doit over the phone, I think our mum has had a bit of a chat with her as she seems a bit calmer but still its the excuses!!

The decision is made by me and h2b that my dad is not coming as he has never met him or the kids and to be honest I don't want him anywhere near my daughter and step kids (he is a very nasty man)!!

I actually can't sleep because I just wonder what she is going to say or do next and with 4 kids its not good!

It sounds like your sister is finding it hard watching you prepare for your wedding when her's didn't go ahead. It's doesn't make her behaviour acceptable, but I can see that it isn't easy for her. Maybe explaining that you understand it isn't easy for her wpuld help. However you need to make sure you stand firm on your dad, and if she's saying you didn't ask her to be bridesmaid I would tell people that's not true.

I think it is worth calling her and explaining that you understand it is difficult that her day didnt go ahead but this is your day and you will be making the decisions. Could you give her a task to do (something you're not too worried about if its not quite perfect) that could focus her mind away from the dresses and make her feel involved? Even if its just finding examples of cake toppers you could choose from (sorry terrible example). In the end if shes still not willing to cooperate you may have to give her the ultimatum.

P.S. The dresses are lovely.

Well I had a long discussion with her the other day and she wants to help with the planning, she knows I understand how she feels, but I don't think it helps that my step dad has always said I will get married before me sister!! We were also going to wait till after her wedding before we planned ours and when she said it was cancelled we still waited as wanted to get past that day before my plans started, although we had already written ideas down prior to this, but they were not setting stone.
Although I am very close to my mum and she has helped me out loads these last few weeks she is kinda taking my sisters side, I don't moan about it to my mum, but she has said a few things that have made me think that maybe my sister shouldn't be that involved.
While I understand her being upset about her own and the way things happened, life moves on and being as I never really liked her h2b I was still very supportive from the day it all kicked off till now, and recently found out she is seeing him again, which seems to have completely changed her again!!
Sorry I just need to rant somewhere as I won't moan to our mum and my h2b doesn't seem that bothered about my sister!
My brother on the other hand is a completely different story and not said a word about anything!!
My step siblings don't know if they will make it, so will just be me and h2b at this rate lol xxx

Haha.... Being I am the older sister, the amount of slaps and beatings I gave her when younger would suggest she wouldn't mess with me lol, but no, she knows no bounds and will wind me up to the point of me saying something I will regret, I have so far bitten my tongue up until now and it's time she realised this is my day not hers, while I appreciate I told her I was not too keen on wearing a short dress for hers, if she wanted me to I would, why can't she just be happy for me!! Xx

Awww im so sorry to hear how she is making you feel, I think its to got to be she's jealous over her own wedding not going ahead, this of course does not excuse her behaviour, she needs to realise this is your day and if she cant get over it she needs to back down, your wedding day is meant to made easier by your bridesmaids and not to make you feel like this. Hopefully you can resolve this soon Xx

its sad she has gone through a hard time, but i think i would have lost it by now, just tell her to wear the effing dress and stop being such a brat about it. Wanting to put a dampner on yours just because hers went tits up. oh boohoo, get a grip stop trying to make my life hard and we might actually be happier for it!

Ok, 1 of my bridesmaids tried in the dress, and I have to say I absolutely love it and so does she, bonus!!

Its a lovely dress

That is not too short at all. It is a respectable length.

Well done standing up to her. She sounds liek a spoiled wee brat. Just enjoy your wedding and pick what you and h2b want. If all of your bm's hated the dress then yeah I wold maybe have said pay attention do you want all of them hating you and feeling uncomfortabel but unfortunately it is very difficut to make 4 girls happy. if like you say your sister hates teh dress she can buy her own and wear it as a guest x

That dress is lovely! And it's not even short! It's the sort of dress I'd pick for my bridesmaids if I could find it in red x

The dress looks lovely if ahe doesn't like it then tough you can do without her upsetting you

Your sister sounds so much like mine. Because of my sisters attitude I knew long before my OH proposed she was not going to have any involvement in the wedding party at all. I just couldn't manage the stress.

Yes your sisters wedding got cancelled but that obviously isn't anything to do with you and she needs to get over it and if she wants to be a bridesmaid in your wedding she needs to suck it up and wear the dress, which by the way is lovely ;)