So the wedding is August and we were going to do bm dresses in June time to accommodate the bridesmaids - I've been getting worried about that because what happens if we can't find anything?! So I go online to see what we can find and amazingly (despite looking around for months), we find the PERFECT bridesmaids dress! It's not the norm, a bit different and so so pretty and feminine! It's blue, it's lacey, long length and with a tiny bit of sparkle in the belt so all the bases are covered
BM 1 loves it, BM2 loves it and MOH hasn't replied yet so waiting for her to get back to me. BM 2 however is causing a headache saying omg omg omg I love it, I want it, it looks gorgeous and practically drooling over it! Then when I say could you order it and see how it looks, she totally backtracks and says oh I'm not sure about the waistline and isn't it too soon as I want to loose weight? Ok, order in a size or two smaller if you are sure you are going to loose weight. Sorted you think? Oh NO! Another excuse - what if I waste money and it doesn't fit? It's a sale dress so you can't return! Ummmm, yes you can because I've checked... So now she's gone off to do work and says we'll discuss it later :(
She's always said, whatever you want, I'll wear but when it comes down to it, that's not really the case! I've compromised on everything for them - changed the colour scheme because they don't like it, making sure it's affordable for us all, ensuring that the dress has everything they want in it yet she's still not happy! We've always made sure that we run past the girls each dress we are thinking about and they get tossed in the reject pile if they don't like it. We always stress that we don't want them uncomfortable on the day but how are we supposed to please all of them???
BM 1 isn't a problem whatsoever and wants to get it and MOH has said just let me know which one and I'll wear it! It's so frustrating because it is the first bm dress that we genuinely love and it's one we really want so it's upsetting when we get negativity :(
ARGHHHHHH!!!!!
Married my wife on 15.08.15
Honeymooned on the Isles of Scilly :)
CommentAuthorCamilaL
I feel like I'm gonna have the same problems. :/ Can't the BM1 order it and give it a try? BM2 will have to accept you can't do everything the way she wants :/
CommentAuthorAprilS61
I think it sounds like there's something she's not telling you? Although what I'm not sure. Who's paying for the dresses, you and Debbie or the BMs? What sizes are the girls, similar or miles apart? X
Mr & Mrs Swan 04/04/15
CommentAuthorCatherineR
The bms are paying but we know money isn't a problem for her atm for definite. She thinks it won't be flattering on her but I kid you not, we've suggested in excess of 50 dresses as possibles and we are at the end of our tether especially as this is one we really really love! :( x
Married my wife on 15.08.15
Honeymooned on the Isles of Scilly :)
CommentAuthorWhovianbride
edited
Most bridesmaid dresses are ordered around this amount of time before a wedding, I went looking in bridal shops the other week and when I told them date, they were all like oh you need to order soon as they take a good 4 months to come in, I know online for not take as long but shows time. I would just say hey dress at cement current size and if you lose weight it can always be taken in. Sounds a bit to me like maybe she's not got the money for it at the moment even tho she said she loved it, was not prepared to be told to go ahead and order it.
I have to say I'm like that, I love something , really want it, but then at the last second have worries about money, and whether it will suit me etc.
Met June 2009 on my Birthday,Met again July 2009 and got
together, May 2010 Moved in,Jan 2011 got pregnant,
August 2011 Got our own place, 2011 Had our Baby Girl,
Dec 2011 Got engaged, July 2015 Getting married! Yay!
Speak to her and say that although before you had said about dresses being ordered in June, this actually makes you really uncomfortable and you would rather know that they have been ordered as it would take a weight off your mind.
If she says she doesn't like the dress then ask her to find a dress she does like, as I would be fed up if I were you of showing dresses and her saying no.
I just want my bridesmaids dresses ordered now as well, but mine are now saying about ordering them in March
CommentAuthorCatherineR
Well the situation is resolved in that all the bm's agreed and loved it but cos it took so long for them all to reply, it sold out in the sizes we needed so it's back to square one :(
Married my wife on 15.08.15
Honeymooned on the Isles of Scilly :)
CommentAuthorDonnaH39
Oh no :(
That really sucks Catherine, I'm sorry. Even more annoying as they finally all agreed to it.
CommentAuthorthefuture:Mrs_Hurren
Oh no that really sucks. I'm going bridesmaid dress shopping next sat. The only stipulation I'd that its long and not red or ipswich town blue! I'm heavily involved in football so want a day away from things that remind me of football.
Hope you can find something else. X
CommentAuthorCatherineR
Yeah, just as we get them all to agree too!! We really loved that dress as well :( thanks for your support ladies xx
Married my wife on 15.08.15
Honeymooned on the Isles of Scilly :)
CommentAuthorCoralLeigh2016
The only one who's helping me with choosing BM dresses is my MOH! As I'm paying they'll get what their given is my approach lol sounds harsh but I can't stand people moaning for the sake of it :) xxx
CommentAuthorEmmilou82
CoralLeigh2016 I'm with you on that one.....
My MOH wants a short BM dress but I'm not comfortable with that. I'd like the older girls (MOH & Step daughter) to have long and then the 2 flower girls dresses! I'm paying so I feel I should have the final say without being a b***h
Marrying 'The One' on 30th July 2016
I am now Mrs Emma Stokoe xx
CommentAuthorFlossie
I'm all for the bridesmaids being happy and comfortable but sometimes you need to put your foot down and let them know that even taking into consideration their thoughts and opinions, whatever you decide on is going to be what they wear. My girls have been a god send and have been happy with all the dresses I have shown them and have willingly said they will wear whatever I want them to wear because it is my special day.
I think the next one you find you should just go for! You don't want to slowly run out of time, leave it too late, then have to compromise on a dress just because you don't have enough time to find THE one.
Good luck xx
Happily married
18th June 2016
xx
CommentAuthorCharlotteE98
I feel your pain. We're having trouble trying to find something for my Half Sister and everything is out of stock. She keeps messaging me on wh4ts4pp asking me loads of questions. The other problem is that she lives in Cirencester and has told me that her size is out of stock in one of the dresses. She's nearly 13 and a size 16. I've suggested they find out if BH$ will get the two favourites in stock but I keep getting stupid questions. If I get one more text message saying look on wh4ts4pp I will scream!
My friend is bridesmaid at her brother's wedding two weeks before mine. She's wearing a completely different dress to the other bridesmaid and chose it to suit her body shape etc. The other bridesmaid has apparently chosen a dress that doesn't suit her body shape and is too tight.
I wonder if she thinks she's expected to pay for it because you've asked her to order it to see what it's like?
CommentAuthorDonnaH39
Mine have both agreed they are happy with the dress we have chosen.... but don't want me to order yet.... I think I'll wait until February and then ask what size they want me to order it in, I really don't think I can hold off until March to order them. It says it takes up to a month for delivery, I'm hoping I will see them both before May (my hen do) so they can try then on and then take them with them if they need any alterations (they both live away so that makes it all more difficult as well)
CommentAuthorRachaelW54
You changed your colour scheme for them?! You are far too nice to them ladies. I understand the whole idea of your bridesmaids being confortable on the day but sometimes you cant please everyone. Is their none on the bay of E? Or theirs even an app you can get for your phone thats similar but you dont bid you can just find the item if someone is selling it and pay through secure payment. Hope you get sorted xx
CommentAuthorDonnaH39
I changed my colours slightly for my girls, I wanted yellow dresses with purple flowers, they were going to go along with it, but I could tell they weren't happy so I asked if they'd prefer purple dresses with yellow flowers and they did.
CommentAuthorElizabethF49
Aww no Catherine that's rubbish that it's sold out now
After 7 years and 11 months he proposed to me 18.10.13
Our son is 5 years old and our world
Getting married 15.08.15.
Life hasnt been easy but we have each other :)
CommentAuthorCatherineR
Yep, for them and various other people. They were making our lives a misery and making it blatantly clear that they weren't happy nor would be on the day :( nothing on Ebay but it's much harder because 2 out of 3 bm's are plus size (24/26).. Most long length dresses seem to start at around £65 that are decent quality!
Married my wife on 15.08.15
Honeymooned on the Isles of Scilly :)
CommentAuthorCatherineR
Spent a whole day searching and searching and again searching BUT we've found another one that we love, that my sister loves and hopefully the others do too! Tbh, we've messaged them and said 'this is the dress, hope you like it and we'll talk more tomorrow to chat about ordering/sizing etc.!' It's made to measure, in budget, really gorgeous and lace up too so it accommodates any weight loss! PHEW!
BMs.jpg
Married my wife on 15.08.15
Honeymooned on the Isles of Scilly :)
CommentAuthorDonnaH39
It looks lovely Catherine, where is it from?
CommentAuthorDonnaH39
Found it, sent the purple one to my bridesmaids to see what they think
CommentAuthorCatherineR
Wow, that was quick! What do they think?
Married my wife on 15.08.15
Honeymooned on the Isles of Scilly :)
CommentAuthorTheNewMrsBarrett
That's lovely! Xx
CommentAuthorDonnaH39
One of them hasn't replied, one of them likes them. She said she liked the bit going down the middle. They are really pretty, I also found one from the same seller with straps so sent that to them. If I get a response from them both I might see if I can push them to tell me a size and I'll order them tonight.... would love to just have them ordered and then we don't actually have any big things that need sorting before the wedding, it's just all the little details after that.
CommentAuthorCatherineR
Thanks Debbie :) my sister loves it so that's the main issue! Do you think we were wrong in just saying this is the dress and hope you like it etc. etc.? xx
Married my wife on 15.08.15
Honeymooned on the Isles of Scilly :)
CommentAuthorDonnaH39
No, I don't think your wrong.
They've veto-ed too many dresses already, this is a nice dress and I'm sure there's not much they can say against them. By the sounds of it you need to be firmer with them and just get it sorted, we don't want to end up with naked bridesmaids do we ;)
CommentAuthorTheNewMrsBarrett
I agree with Donna! Xx
CommentAuthorCatherineR
Oh I don't know..... If they have no dress then we have no bm's... problem solved ;) x
Married my wife on 15.08.15
Honeymooned on the Isles of Scilly :)
CommentAuthorDonnaH39
Both like the dress I pinched from you, waiting on a response from the one with straps... Also asked about ordering this month, at the latest I will order them end of Feb beginning on March
CommentAuthorCatherineR
Definitely - we will get them done tomorrow I think! Pregnant bm not sure :/
Married my wife on 15.08.15
Honeymooned on the Isles of Scilly :)
CommentAuthorElizabethF49
That dress is gorgeous, how pregnant will your BM be or is she due to give birth? From what I can see the dress will hide any 'mummy tummy' she will have after having a baby.
After 7 years and 11 months he proposed to me 18.10.13
Our son is 5 years old and our world
Getting married 15.08.15.
Life hasnt been easy but we have each other :)
CommentAuthorCatherineR
Thank you :) she is due on 1st March but will be delivered early so either way within the next 6 weeks. I was thinking maybe April/May time so she has time to adjust back? It looks pretty post-baby friendly!
Married my wife on 15.08.15
Honeymooned on the Isles of Scilly :)
CommentAuthorDonnaH39
I hope you don't mind, but it's looking like my bridesmaids are happy with it too-so I'll be ordering it in the next couple of days
CommentAuthorCatherineR
Not at all, you're purple and I'm blue so it's irrelevant anyway. Glad you've found some you like!
Married my wife on 15.08.15
Honeymooned on the Isles of Scilly :)
CommentAuthorDonnaH39
Yay!!! They've even given me their sizes! :D
CommentAuthorCatherineR
Woohoo, that's fab! :D My sister needs to find a tape measure and our MOH hasn't even messaged back yet .. Helpfully though, she's based in Taunton which is really near us so we might pop in and do it in person during the Easter holidays!
Married my wife on 15.08.15
Honeymooned on the Isles of Scilly :)
CommentAuthorDonnaH39
I was hoping she would be near one of my bridesmaids, but the closest one is Weymouth.... a bit far to ask her to go and try a dress on lol
CommentAuthorDonnaH39
Just ordered mine :) I was going to hold off, but noticed it said there were only 2 of the size 10's and 5 of the size 14's left.... I'm assuming she just puts 5 on at a time or something, but didn't want to take that risk.
CommentAuthorCatherineR
A bit of a trek but still driveable. Glad you've got yours ordered :) going to order ours in March/April cos it makes it easier for our MOH so I just hope they still have them but I remember viewing these before ages ago in December 2013 so hopefully we should be fine! You can tell us how good they are then they arrive lol.
Married my wife on 15.08.15
Honeymooned on the Isles of Scilly :)
CommentAuthorCatherineR
A little less worried about the dresses going as we just gave them a ring and have arranged an appointment to go in to see them and get the dresses properly measured and fitted so yay! :)
Married my wife on 15.08.15
Honeymooned on the Isles of Scilly :)
CommentAuthorDonnaH39
Wow that's fab, you might be telling me about the quality before I tell you.
I'm pretty confident though as they have really good feedback. My main worry is one of my bridesmaids is trying to lose weight, but I'm thinking with the tie up backs it will be okay and worse case we'll have it altered for her.
CommentAuthorAprilS61
I must say Catherine, I think I like those dresses better! Colour is gorgeous too. You were definitely right to not give them an option of liking it and saying 'this is THE dress' after all the dresses they vetted and discarded! Hopefully your pregnant BM feels more comfortable about it when she's had her baby. It's not that long to wait really. Sounds like its finally sorted! X
Mr & Mrs Swan 04/04/15
CommentAuthorCatherineR
I think I'm inclined to agree with you actually and I think they will flatter more too! Looking at the 1st one, I think that would have suited skinny minnies but not necessary our BM's as much. I rang up the dress lady and she was very nice and said it's no problem with our pregnant MOH and our MOH is fine with getting that dress especially as it's lace up which is ideal for her and post-baby figure and the other two if they wana loose weight so it all worked out ok :) the golden rule is 2/3 dress sizes smaller if needs be and I don't see them loosing that amount that quickly from April - August! x
Married my wife on 15.08.15
Honeymooned on the Isles of Scilly :)
CommentAuthorAprilS61
Yeah I think so too. I think you're right! Tell them if they are planning to lose any to start now so their dresses can be perfect for the day :) x
Mr & Mrs Swan 04/04/15
CommentAuthorCatherineR
Yep exactly! If they want to, that's fine as long as they don't mind getting measured in April :) yeah, I think a bit of assertiveness works wonders but I felt bad as I hate upsetting people!! x
Married my wife on 15.08.15
Honeymooned on the Isles of Scilly :)
CommentAuthorDonnaH39
When you say 2-3 dress sizes smaller do you mean the dress can be made 2-3 sizes smaller by pulling in tighter or by having it altered?
CommentAuthorCatherineR
Because of the lace up, normally you can go in a couple sizes generally, that's what I was told?
Married my wife on 15.08.15
Honeymooned on the Isles of Scilly :)
CommentAuthorDonnaH39
Fab, I hope that's right as that would be brill for if mine lost the weight she wants to :)
CommentAuthorCatherineR
Well I think so because that's how wedding dresses that are lace up work!
Married my wife on 15.08.15
Honeymooned on the Isles of Scilly :)
