So I spent ages procrastinating over shoes to go with my lemon yellow, knee length dresses. My one bridesmaid was fine, but the other was a little demanding.... Saying no high heels and no sandals (i am having a summer wedding and sandals was exactly where I was going!) as she had horrible feet.... Well she should check mine out where I have 5 scars on each foot from an operation I had a few years ago! Anyway, we bought some pretty, kitten heel black lace (kind of see thru) peeptoe shoes that they both agreed on. A week ago they informed me that they were not wearing the shoes as the demanding bridesmaid has sciatica. Although I dont doubt she does, Im just annoyed that shes had this for a few months and has only just decided that the other shoes arent ok, with TWO weeks to go! Every time I ask them by text/email, I generally get no response. So I sent them a FB message this evening as I can see when its been read. The demanding BM messaged back telling me she was too busy to go shopping this weekend so will go next....4 days before the wedding. I asked what the backup plan was and she said not to worry, that she's get something. Now I am worried as she doesnt have the best taste in shoes - she tried to convince me some white patent wedges were nice. Now normally I wouldnt mind, but they are wearing knee length dresses and the shoes will be seen. So ladies, my question is, do you have any suggestions on the shoe front? And also, considering I now have less than 2 weeks to go, should I try and take control of this?
X x
CommentAuthor*The NewMrsMalin*
Not too sure on the shoe front as peep toes sound lovely; I guess wedges could work too but if I was you; I'd take control. Telling you that she will go shopping 4 days before the wedding is unfair and selfish; Did you pay for the shoes? If so then it is definitely your choice!
Met in 2009
Got together on12th May 2011, proposed on the 12th May 2013
When you get knocked down; smile and pick yourself up again!
Fight for what you believe in!
CommentAuthorkittyh
yes! 100% take control! i am usually the one on here talking about individuality of bridesmaids and making sure people are comfortable and happy on the day etc but at this late stage in the game you have to seize power. if she is too busy to go shopping this weekend then they either wear the shoes they have or you and other bridesmaid choose the shoes and get a pair in her size and she wears it. i wouldn't even buy a pair of shoes for a night out that short notice let alone bridesmaids shoes! she had her chance! xx
CommentAuthorbarbie86
Personally, I do not get why the shoes have to match; and I think dictating shoes is very tricky, given that different people find different things comfortable. I would NEVER dictate what shoes my bridesmaids wore as they are different heights, and wear very different styles and heel heights because of that: one regularly wears 5 inch heels and would hate to wear flats; another is very tall and almost always wears flats. So, honestly? I'd have let them wear what they wanted in the first place provided they co-ordinated (eg same colour/not a drastically different fabric).
If she has sciatica it is unreasonable to expect her to wear heels; so, I would let her wear a pair of black shoes of her choice. No-one will notice; it will not ruin the photos.
CommentAuthorkittyh
barbie i would usually agree with you, (my girls will choose their shoes, their hair and make up and will have a big choice when it comes to the dress) but these are things that should have been sorted weeks ago ie when they decided on the first pair of shoes not 2 weeks before the wedding. If I was a bridesmaid and I had to change shoes last minute then I would be frantically searching for a suitable alternative online not ignoring facebook messages.
Why does she want wedges if she has problems??? Hmmm x
CommentAuthorBryonyEminson2Be
although i am a firm believer in making sure bridesmaids are comfortable i think you need to just ask her what size shoe she is and get her some yourself, if you still can/ want the other bm to wear the black lace peep-toes maybe try finding some black lace dolly shoes, still summery and similar to the ones you already had, but make it clear to her that you arent happy she has waited so long to let you know because its stressing you out at a time you should be enjoying yourself, then she will be more likely to just wear what you give her x
And my soul saw yours and said
"oh, I have been looking for you"
we met 07/09/2004. we loved 28/02/2012
we'll marry- 14.08.2021
CommentAuthoralmost a year wife!!
I think white might look better than black with lemon colour *runs away and hides*
Seriously though she is out of order telling you now... I've been bm twice already this year and one dress was full length and the other knee length I wore same pair of silver slingback kitten heel for both... This is them
image.jpg
image.jpg
image.jpg
image.jpg
They're about £15-20 a pair and avail in ivory can give link if u want xxx
Ill marry my hero
CommentAuthorkrissy905
she as left it very late letting you know about her siatica but if she has that then flats would be the best thing for her
CommentAuthorRennie1989
None of my bridesmaid shoes matches because they all have different feet shapes and sizes which fit some shoes but not others. Why don't you take her out shopping (when she's not in pain with the sciatica) and show her what shoes you want her to wear or she'll show you what she wants to wear, and find a compromise. Still, leaving it this late is irresponsible on her part.
CommentAuthornugget80
can she not wear the original shoes for the ceremony/photos then her own choice after that? then everyone is happy?!
