I need to have a bit of a rant. My bridesmaids are really irritating me. I know they have their own lives, especially my MOH as she has 2 young children so all I have asked of them is that they be there to sort dresses, I dont expect any other help unless they want to but I cant even get that. I managed to get one of them to try dresses on while the others watched about 6 months ago but thats it. I kept trying to get them to come out with me to look at other dresses but my MOH keeps cancelling on me or just not responding to my texts or calls until after we had arranged to meet. I decided I had had enough and I asked for their measurements so I could order dresses that I liked which they both said ok to but after I ordered them they started panicking about putting on/ losing weight... how much are they planning to change in 6 months considering they have been the same for a few years? As the dresses were a lot cheaper than the ones they were trying on in the dress shop (they were £175 plus in the dress shop and the ones I bought were only £80) my BM has decided I should pay for them to have their nails done... I'm not having my nails done btw and we are on a very tight budget so £80 per dress is still a lot of money for us.
The dresses arrived over a week ago and I cant get them to come round to try them on, my MOH is ignoring my texts and calls again and the other is saying she has got a cold so cant be bothered at the moment.
I am so worried my MOH is going to let me down at the last minute, she is my best mate and I have known her for over 10 years so I dont want to fall out with her over this but I feel like she doesn't care. She got married 8 months ago and she told me se wanted me as a bridesmaid but then told me she couldn't afford it and her h2b had already asked 3 people (he was organising it) I was hurt but I didn't say anything because I didn't want to upset her. Her son got christened the same day so she asked me to be his godmother but I've seen him 2 or 3 times since then so he barely knows who I am. Then a few weeks ago her 3 month old stopped breathing and had to be rushed to hospital in an ambulance and I found out 3 days later because her hubby had put it on face book... this is all really upsetting me and I dont know what to do.
Sorry for the VERY long rant!! x

Believe me, I have tried... I have asked them both round twice this week but MOH isn't responding and the other has the cold. My MOH's hubby is a bit of an arse, I am not allowed round when he is there I think because he was cheating on her about 4 years ago and he told her he had stopped but I saw them together so I told her, and he has held it against me since. I used to get on well with him before that, in fact I knew him before my MOH. He is very controlling, I booked tickets for cadbury world a few years ago for her birthday and went to pick her up and stood at the front door for 45 minutes banging and trying to ring her, she eventually came out in tears and said he had lost his keys so wouldn't let her leave the house until she found them... she is a lovely girl and deserves better, and I know she doesn't mean to hurt me but sometimes I think, I dont know why I'm bothering.
I am still trying ot take her out for her bday which was in april but am getting nowhere.
I just want to scream!

Yep, and thats why I dont want to say anything to her but its really worrying me that he will stop her on the day :(

Is there any way you can try and meet up with her without him knowing? Does she work? Can you meet during her lunch hour from work, or could you take the dress to where she works? Or does he work? Could you pop around when he's at work with the dress?

I know this means the effort is all on you, but if it is him making things difficult, perhaps this may be the only way... But I can see your worries about him putting a spanner in the works on the day..... That's something you'll need to try and talk to her about I think....

What about the other BM. How come she is being so difficult?

id have made them get there own dresses we have told ours if they wanna b a bridesmaid they pay 4 there own dresses

awww well first thing dont stress it only leads to problems second thing have a back up incase things do go wrong and third if your bms cant seem to make the days you set take them out to lunch or something and take thedresses with you xxx

big (((hugs))) hun friends can get on our nerves sometimes but it's good to get this off your chest now petal before you blew somewhere else.

i fell out with a friend recently who i was going to ask to be one of my bm's so looks like I'm left with just my sister which means i'm going to have to get her dress delivered to her house and get my mum to take the pics to send me since they live 250 mile round trip :(

i do believe like some of the ladies have stated that your moh's man is the problem, could you not find a way of bumping into her accidently on purpose behind his back well find a sneaky way to do it. I have a feeling he prob has access to her phone and FB account so may have to resort to withholding your num when ringing xx

Thank you ladies. The last thing I want to do is fall out with them as they are my closest friends, I dont have a lot of friends because I moved here late on at school and since then have only had a few jobs in small companies so I haven't got to meet that many people, so the ones I do have mean a lot to me. But I sometimes feel like they just pick me up when it suits them.
When I asked them to be bridesmaids they were really pleased and my MOH still keeps asking if I want help with things but when I ask her to do anything I get nothing so I just think why even bother offering if you have no intention of following through with it.
I think the problem with my other bm is that she's been with her man about 6 years and got engaged about a year before me but they still have no plans to get married but that is through decisions they have made eg, buying a much bigger house than they really need as 1st time buyers and then buying 2 big dogs so they cant afford it... my priorities lie elsewhere. So through comments she has made I think she is a bit jealous but just doesn't want to say....
Ugh weddings are a pain in the bum!

lol thanks and u 2! and when ur feelin down or annoyed just think how many more ppl there are who are happy 4 u!! xx

You are being let down by your best friend. It is very hurtful and I am sorry you are suffering, especially at this stressful point in the lead up to your Big Day.

I don't want to upset you, but the signs are that either 1) she does not want to be your best friend or 2) she is not allowed to be your best friend thanks to her controlling, cheating, good-for-nothing husband. You need to find out which it is, but either way, your friendship may be effectively over. Personally, I would consider not having anyone as a bridesmaid/ MOH and just getting on with it yourself. I can't stand the thought of being let down like that!! I would rather go it alone than suffer the upset.

You deserve better than this. For whatever reason, you cannot rely on your MOH/ best friend. Do not let yourself get hurt anymore and make the decision to step away from her. If she is really your friend, she will seek you out to repair things when she can.

Trustworthy, genuine and reliable friends are hard to find. I was so pleased when I found my best friend. I knew she had the qualities that I would look for in a friend. I was so nervous when I asked her if we could spend time together, because it mattered whether she said yes. After years of friendship, I can honestly say that I love my friend and her family. She is doing my flowers and she is my MOH and even though she has a toddler and a busy life, we always find some time for one another. Sometimes I don't see her and her family for a month (because they live 45 minutes' drive), but I can always count on her to care about me and to tell me the truth. I really value that. We have occasionally had rough patches (like when she and her husband came over an hour late for dinner and also when we'd planned to go camping and she was all wound up with other things and it nearly didn't happen) but when this happens I tell her how I feel and we repair things and move on. She lets me know if she's too busy to chat and I don't take offence; I know how it is to have a young toddler. But I know she'd be there if I really needed her. Even with her Littl'un, we have fun together and we find ways of showing how much we care.

I suggest you look to invest your love and friendship elsewhere if this cannot be resolved. There is someone out there who deserves what you have to give and who can in return, offer you the support, friendship and light-hearted fun you need. Beginning a new friendship takes trust, but you've done it before, you can do it again. And believe me, the rewards from a genuine friendship are well worth the effort.

Good luck.

Apologise to this husband and tell him that you need her and if he can understand that you two are friends he will let you do things with her, tell him that if he loves her he needs to let her do things and be less controlling over her.

Aw hun sounds like you have one hell of a situation on your hands... I would just as her is her and the little ones want to come around for a bit for a cuppa and some biccies and ask if she is ok while she is there get her to try her dress on :) If she cant even make it round for a cuppa then you have issues xx