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Wedding Forum - Bridesmaid/hen drama...

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  1.  
    • CattyS55
      CommentAuthorCattyS55
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Feb 8th 2017
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    My wedding is in 6 weeks and whilst I have been extremely calm throughout I am not starting to get angry and stressed. Firstly I have 4 bridesmaids (2 teenage sisters and 2 friends that I have known for 20 years). My two friend bridesmaids have not helped at all with the wedding or shown any interest when I have invited them to numerous wedding events. I told them both 4 weeks ago that I was upset that they didn't help and other friends offered and even H2B bestman's wife offered to help but my bridesmaids didn't. They apologised and said they would step up.

    However it is now my hen weekend this weekend, which they organised and it has become a joke and is very disorganised. It was meant to be a whole weekend, then got whittled down to Saturday and Sunday and then went to during the day on Saturday with a club and dinner in the evening. I have been informed by another friend it is just dinner and a club now and that the price for things have increased. I am angry as the hen in days away and they are only telling people now about "extra costs" and expect them to cough up the money. I spoke to one of the bridesmiads and she was shocked I knew about the changes, I explained because they had not informed me with any info- like I don't know what time I am meant to be ready on Saturday or where we are meeting. I went to other friends to get an idea that they were happy with everything and was informed about it being disorganised. I am completely embarrassed by this and shocked that when I explained to the bridesmaid she gave me attitude and said I am being controlling because I have liaised with my friends.

    If I am honest I don't even want to attend Saturday as I think they whole vibe will be ruined and awkward all because my two bridesmaids have this attitude and can't see the problem with telling others that prices have increased and not considered everyone financial circumstances.

    I just don't know what to do
  2.  
    • MichelleC961
      CommentAuthorMichelleC961
      Got married 22 months ago
      Posted: Feb 8th 2017
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    Hi,

    I woukd have an honest coversation with them, say you are feeling anxious and upset that you haven't asked them to do much but feel disappointed that the one thing you have asked them to do seems a little disorganised- explain that you appreciate their efforts but are now worried that the other hens are asking you the details

    Perhaps it is organised and you just don't know the details- or maybe there has been a miscommunication- I wouldn't jump in all guns blazing, just politely enquirer what they gave organised - hope it all works out xx

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  3.  
    • MrsC2Be
      CommentAuthorMrsC2Be
      Got married 34 months ago
      Posted: Feb 8th 2017
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    Hi Catty, so wierd i was just about to put up a post of my own thats very similar to yours!!

    I think you definitly need to have a conversation with them. its completely unfair that they have taken away the exitement of your special one time hen do. it should be all about you and they should be wanting to make it special for you. Definitly speakto them but in a polite way, its really unfair on you x

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    Met In Lanzarote April 2013
    Engaged In Rome February 2016
    Getting Married In Scotland May 2017
  4.  
    • CattyS55
      CommentAuthorCattyS55
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Feb 8th 2017
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Hi girls, Thanks for the advice. I spoke to one of the bridesmaids today and she was really aggressive. I explained I had concerns and that I had been contacted by others regarding things not being organised and asking for extra money. Another friend has shown me some of the messages sent ans the bridesmaids haven't been clear at all. The other hens have raised concerns with them and they have ignored their messages.

    It's upsetting especially when I told them a few weeks ago that they needed to step up and I had concerns about the hen being disorganised and then all the drama kicked off again today with them changing plans at the last minute and some of the hens saying they may not be able to attend with these last minute changes.

    Even where they have planned for us to have dinner it may have well been m3d0nald5 or n2n4os

    It hurts more because if this was their hen I would have ensured things were organised and they had a great night and I now feel like it's all been tainted by drama and it's going to be awkward with everyone as there are a lot of unhappy hens
  5.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Feb 9th 2017
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    It's unfair that they have been disorganised but I would try not to worry too much - I'm sure everything will work out great and you will have a fabulous time no matter what you do! I struggled in the lead up to my hen as I left my bridesmaids in charge of the organising and had NO idea what I was doing... they kept winding me up saying they had hired strippers and that we were going abroad for a boozy weekend etc. which would be my worst nightmare!!!! I ended up having a fantastic weekend and they did an amazing job. You will have a fab time once you get the chance to let your hair down and stop worrying about it x

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    Happily married
    18th June 2016
    xx
  6.  
    • MrsC2Be
      CommentAuthorMrsC2Be
      Got married 34 months ago
      Posted: Feb 10th 2017
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    i would be really dissapointed and upset, but i guess you have to suck it up and try and enjoy yourself as it is your hen party this weekend so try and forget about it for now and enjoy yourself.

    At least you know peoples true colours, weddings tend to bring them out in people i think!! xx

    Members signature icon
    Met In Lanzarote April 2013
    Engaged In Rome February 2016
    Getting Married In Scotland May 2017
 
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