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  1.  
    • KatieH
      CommentAuthorKatieH
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Feb 8th 2015
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    I have been trying to meet up with one of my Bridesmaids for weeks now. Even over Xmas she couldn't find the time to meet up, she is my Son's Godmother so you would think she would make more of an effort. I'm doing all the chasing, since she got back with her bf she hasn't really bothered with me.
    Every time I suggest a date that I'm not at work she is either working or seeing her family. I said what about next week and she said the kids are off that week, so I suggested doing something with the kids and she said that her friend is coming to stay with her for the week with her kids so she will let me know.
    She said she can't come to the bridal shop with me next month as she has to work. Why can't she book the day off if she's booked time off next week?
    To me it seems like excuse after excuse and I'm getting so frustrated with it. Am I being unreasonable? Shall I just give up trying and wait until she contacts me?
    Sorry for the rant but I need to get it off my chest.

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    Met in 2007
    Started dating in 2009
    Got engaged in 2014
    Became Mrs Holme 11.06.16
  2.  
    • VictoriaL46
      CommentAuthorVictoriaL46
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Feb 8th 2015
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    I can understand why you are feeling frustrated. She may genuinely just be having a very busy time about it and if she is anything like me, struggles to get time off work.

    I would have a catch up on the phone and find out if there is anything going on that she may want to talk about. Maybe something unrelated to you is on her mind and she doesn't want to trouble you with it. Around this time of year a good lot of people are feeling the post festive blues still so it could be that?

    Give her a call and have a nice evening chat, try not bring up meeting up or wedding stuff and just relax into general silly chat. See where it goes.

    Members signature icon
    Met in Nov 2005
    Engaged 13th June 2013
    Becomes Mrs Stewart on 10th Aug 2015 Honeymoon in Florida!
    My Diary Thread: My Alice in Wonderland Wedding Diary
  3.  
    • Velcro
      CommentAuthorVelcro
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Feb 8th 2015
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    tbh, id probably just give up and wait and see if she bothers getting in touch? It could genuinely just be poor timing though? And with 16 months to go, she might just not see it as a top priority as frustrating as it is for you

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    Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
    *Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
  4.  
    • KatieH
      CommentAuthorKatieH
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Feb 8th 2015
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    That's fair enough but we've always met up for lunch every couple of months anyway. I understand that she could just be busy etc but it's still me doing all the chasing trying to arrange a get together. I messaged her on the book of face and talked about wedding stuff which she seemed fine with. I just feel like she has time for other people but not me. I know I'm probably being silly but it's just getting me down at the moment.

    Members signature icon
    Met in 2007
    Started dating in 2009
    Got engaged in 2014
    Became Mrs Holme 11.06.16
  5.  
    • Velcro
      CommentAuthorVelcro
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Feb 8th 2015
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    Nah you are not being silly, it's just hard to know the deal when you don't know the story really :)

    I've been there myself with a 'disinterested' friend, and ended up just doing what I suggested and gave up getting in touch, and you know what happened? We didn't see each other for about a year! I think some people just move on, without any bad intent, I think it just kinda happens that people drift away. this girl in question for me, went from being a bridesmaid to an evening guest.

    It is a shame, as I did value her friendship, but she got a new job and in turn, new friends who were clearly cooler than me and our other friend lol

    Members signature icon

    Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
    *Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
  6.  
    • KirstyR386
      CommentAuthorKirstyR386
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Feb 8th 2015
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    She may have other things going on that are taking over for her so maybe a phonecall checking shes alright and say your worried about her. I didnt hear from one of my bm for a while after Christmas so asked if everything was ok and turned out a heap of family stuff had kicked off over Christmas. She might not have realised how it was coming across to you. Once you know shes ok you could ask her for dates when shes available so you can arrange things.
  7.  
    • VictoriaL46
      CommentAuthorVictoriaL46
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Feb 8th 2015
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    You're not being silly. You're wanting to share this with someone very close to you and you're excited.

    Members signature icon
    Met in Nov 2005
    Engaged 13th June 2013
    Becomes Mrs Stewart on 10th Aug 2015 Honeymoon in Florida!
    My Diary Thread: My Alice in Wonderland Wedding Diary
  8.  
    • DonnaH39
      CommentAuthorDonnaH39
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Feb 8th 2015
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    It sounds like she is just having a busy time, especially if she's been talking to you fine over facebook about the wedding just fine.

    Maybe send her a message and say that your worried about her as you haven't seen her for a while and are missing being able to catch up on things?




  9.  
    • DonnaH39
      CommentAuthorDonnaH39
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Feb 8th 2015
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    and I agree, you are not being silly at all




  10.  
    • KatieH
      CommentAuthorKatieH
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Feb 8th 2015
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    Thanks everyone. Think I will just leave things for a few weeks and then try again.

    Members signature icon
    Met in 2007
    Started dating in 2009
    Got engaged in 2014
    Became Mrs Holme 11.06.16
  11.  
    • GraceD64
      CommentAuthorGraceD64
      Posted: Feb 8th 2015
     
    Hi everyone,
    Ugh I really need to rant because basically I think I'm going to burst. We going abroad to get married this summer. My intention was to have no bridesmaids at all but my mum basically asked my brothers girlfriend to be one, I hardly know her. My brother is notorious when it comes to girlfriends and the probability of her being in our lives in five years is slim. So of course she will be in all my photos. Then of course my OH sister had to be asked to be bridesmaid and my niece which I didn't really mind.
    A few weeks go by and I start looking at dresses. My wedding dress is short so naturally I'm going to put my bridesmaids in a short dress. But no. Had a phonecall from my brother yesterday stating is girlfriend has to have a long dress as she has scars on her legs. Although her fb has plenty of pictures of her in short dresses.
    I just feel like I'm being railroad. I hate any form of confrontation and I will always look to please anyone over myself. But just for one day I'd like to make the choices. I can't even bring myself to look at long dresses because I know it's not what I want.
    Should I just let everyone have their way?
  12.  
    • DonnaH39
      CommentAuthorDonnaH39
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Feb 8th 2015
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    No, don't go along with what everyone else wants Grace.

    Especially if she has pictures of her in short dresses on facebook, I would have been tempted to message him back and say ''She can wear a long dress if she want's, but if she is a bridesmaid then she will be in a long dress''


    Did you speak to your mum about asking her to be a bridesmaid, as that was bang out of order as well. Even if you wanted her to be a bridesmaid then it would be down to you to ask not your mum




  13.  
    • GraceD64
      CommentAuthorGraceD64
      Posted: Feb 8th 2015
     
    I did speak to my mum and had a bit of a rant at her, I think overall she just didn't want me to not have a bridesmaid. I just wish I had that kind of courage. I may just ask her if she would prefer not to be bridesmaid and then can choose her own dress. My OH is furious especially since I'm buying all the dresses including shoes and accessories, hair etc.
    am I wrong in thinking that having long bridesmaids dresses alongside a short wedding dress would look odd?
  14.  
    • DonnaH39
      CommentAuthorDonnaH39
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Feb 8th 2015
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    It depends on what look you want to go for, I think it could look okay-BUT that's not the point, it's not what you want.


    I can't believe your having to pay for it when you didn't want bridesmaids anyway, surely your mum should at least pay for your brothers girlfriend considering she asked her?


    Also since your paying for the dresses then def don't go long! If they were paying I'd say give them more choice, but not if your paying anyway.

    Maybe asking her if she would rather not be a bridesmaid so she can wear her own choice of dress is a good idea.




  15.  
    • VictoriaL46
      CommentAuthorVictoriaL46
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Feb 8th 2015
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    Firstly... You did not ask her to be a bridesmaid
    Secondly ... You're paying for the dress so really, she wears what you tell her to.
    Thirdly... Your family should NOT be making decisions on your behalf for YOUR wedding.

    If you are wanting the BMs in short dresses, then they wear short dresses. If you did not wish for her to be a bridesmaid then just say politely your mum jumped the gun but you feel she would be much happier as a guest without having to worry about any duties she will have to perform on the day because yes there will be plenty for bridesmaids to do on the day.

    Your BMs should always be people you are close to and who will be supportive for you. The fact the your brothers GF has spoken through your brother indicates that she doesn't know you enough to speak to you directly.

    Members signature icon
    Met in Nov 2005
    Engaged 13th June 2013
    Becomes Mrs Stewart on 10th Aug 2015 Honeymoon in Florida!
    My Diary Thread: My Alice in Wonderland Wedding Diary
  16.  
    • Velcro
      CommentAuthorVelcro
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Feb 8th 2015
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    @ Grace

    urghhh i would be telling my mum that seeing as she has picked the bridesmaids SHE is paying for the dresses! I think I would just sit everyone down (one at a time, if you dont want the confrontation) and just say look, I didnt want bridemaids, mum has gone over my head and asked people putting me in an awkward postition, yet my feelings reamain the same, i just dont WANT bridesmaids, it is nothing personal

    Believe me, you will regret it in the long run if you do not stand up for what you want, especially when you have cheeky gets, brother or not, telling you what she will and won't wear! I regret like you wouldnt beleive asking my sister in laws, thankfully they stepped down saving me the awkward conversation, but it was coming to that and I am MUCH happier for it when i look at my pictures and their awful faces aren't ruining them.

    You keep those pictures for life. make sure you are happy with what is looking back at you from them!

    Members signature icon

    Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
    *Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
 
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