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Wedding Forum - Bridesmaid trouble...

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  1.  
    • KimS973
      CommentAuthorKimS973
      Getting married in 4 months
      Posted: Nov 16th 2019
      BadgeBadge
     
    Hi girls, after some advice, I have no clue what to do without upsetting my friend.

    I moved up North at the end of 2018. My two best friends (E and V) still live down South and are my bridesmaid.

    E is like me - spontaneous and adventurous. V is a little more measured.

    V is 5 months pregnant. I’ve been down to visit 5 times since we moved and V has cancelled our plans on 4 occasions. The only time we did manage to meet we had our other halves with us so couldn’t really have a good old planning session.

    E and V promised to come up and visit in January so we could go dress shopping and the like.

    V has this evening said she’s not going to be able to come because she’s so tired.

    I have to say here, I totally get it, I’ve got a 15 month old baby myself. BUT how am I supposed to manage this? I’d be happy to go down there but I know she’ll cancel and she won’t come here. At this rate the next time I see her will be on the wedding day.

    Any suggestions? I don’t want to fire her, E and V are my dearest friends, but it’s not working.
  2.  
    • Itsjustkay86
      CommentAuthorItsjustkay86
      Got married 2 months ago
      Posted: Jan 14th 2020
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I think you should maybe just give her a call and see how shes feeling and that she does need to attend some appointments etc but you would completely understand if she would prefer to take a step back. If she tells you she wants to be a bridesmaid then she will have to put in the work. My maid of honour has two kids, ages 5 and 7 and shes been a nightmare the entire time ive been planning my wedding by making it very clear that everything is an inconvenience for her. I have bent over backwards to accommodate her by making sure her kids are able to attend our appointments etc but she still makes such a fuss over everything. It got to the point where I just had to sit her down and ask her if she really wants to be part of this because I cannot keep running around after her as i have my own stuff to deal with and its made her realise she does want to be a part of it and is now being more supportive.

    She probably just needs a friendly gentle kick up the butt!
 
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