Is anyone making their Bridesmaids buy their own shoes?
My partner thinks I should ask my 2 bridesmaid to buy their own shoes as he is making his Dad, BM and 2 Ushers buy their own.
I feel awful just thinking about asking them.
Help Please
xx
CommentAuthordanni2611
I've asked my adult bridesmaids to buy their own.
I'm having 6 in total, my 2 daughters (6 & 10), 2 nieces (3 & 6) and my 2 sisters who will be 21 & 24.
I wasn't overly fussed about having adult bridesmaids but as they wanted to, it was on the agreement that they bought their own dress and shoes.
CommentAuthorMickaylaH
I asked them to be my bridesmaids though . I have bought their dresses, jewellery and will be paying for thier hair and make up.
xx
CommentAuthorLauraT41
I brought my BM shoes as a gift, but they were more than happy to pay for them if i hadn't. They understand how expensive these little things add up to - i would not worry about asking them to buy their own xx
CommentAuthorMickaylaH
Thanks LauraT41 I just feel bad as its like I have asked them to be part of my wedding and now I am asking them to buy their own.
I know one of my bridesmaids wont have a problem with it but I feel the other one will have.
I think it's quite normal now for people to buy their own, my bridesmaids are buying their own dresses and shoes and the groomsmen will be paying for their suit hire, it would have cost us a small fortune otherwise!
Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today
Crazy in love with the man of my dreams
CommentAuthorMickaylaH
Thanks guys.. I am starting to feel better about it now.
xx
CommentAuthorLittleMissWorry
I told mine they could wear a pair they already had, that way no one had to pay! So they're both wearing black shoes, they don't match but I don't really care so long as they're comfortable in them.
If I'd wanted them to wear a specific colour or style then I think I would have felt obligated to pay though.
CommentAuthorsarah
I feel that anytime something specific is required the bride should pay, unless the bridal party agree to pay or chip in. If a specific style is not required then the bridal party should be free to wear something they already own or pay for new if that's what they want.
CommentAuthorValentinaK
We got ours wgen we got the dresses from c0@st. They were in the sales, had all the sizes, were perfect with the dress and eithin outfit bydget! Really unusual too. My bridesmaids were all willing to pay though!
And we lived happily ever after!
CommentAuthorElinor Claire
I'm thinking I'll get them to buy their own shoes as that way they can choose shoes that they will be comfortable in. I'm buying the dresses and probably the other accessories.
30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.
CommentAuthorFernP61
Yes my bms are paying for their own shoes we have paid for the dress and paying for hair they are doing own make-up we are providing flowers obviously lol and out gift to them is a necklace and earrings set x
CommentAuthorVickyB70
I was going to pay for everything but the dresses are so much more money than I budgeted for that I am going to have to ask them to buy their own shoes. The way I see it is yes you've asked them to be a part of your special day but if they weren't a bridesmaid they'd have to pay for dress and shoes out of their own pocket! x
CommentAuthorBeckyU98
my step mom asked us to sort our own shoes, hair and makeup and alterations if we needed any but she was paying £260 per dress for us. for our wedding im paying for dresses, alterations and accessories. they just need to sort their hair and makeup and shoes. i will probably be paying for flower girls shoes but i think my mom might buy my neices. i never asked them though it was just kind of expected that they would get them. i think its pretty normal for them to pay for hair makeup and shoes these days. dont feel bad about asking its an expensive time x
CommentAuthorNataleeM
In my head i was planning on buying the lot for my bridesmaids, but im soo over budget and we dont even have a photographer yet so i have said i will buy their dresses and pay for their hair to be done but i really cant afford accessories or shoes but if i see a bargain i will buy them xx
Can not wait until I marry the man of my DREAMS
CommentAuthormiss_finch
I have told mine they can wear whatever shoes they like. They don't have to match as their dresses are long. I have 5 BM and some love wearing heels, others can't stand them. I am paying for their dresses, hair, make up and jewelry but they will be providing their own shoes. xx
The future Mrs Conroy September 2016
Vicky and Matthew 4th June 2011
Sonny George Conroy 02/10/2012... my world!!!
CommentAuthormillz090
I think if you ask someone to be your bridesmaid or groomsmen then you should be paying for their outfits as you want them to be dressed a certain way... i paid for their dresses, accessories and hair and was going to buy their shoes but they all had a patent nude pair of heals that matched perfectly so saved some money and they had comfy shoes.
Finally marrying the love of my life !!
10th August 2013 - 9 years to the day we met !
CommentAuthorBeckyU98
if you have got long dresses then it doesnt really matter what shoes they wear. you could just say that your not going to force them to wear the same pair of shoes as everyone has a different style so they can wear whatever they like and if they already have some then wear them x
CommentAuthorMel D
We bought the bridesmaids dresses, and as they were a color that would go with black shoes I said that they could wear whatever shoes they wanted as long as they were black. This saved me having to buy shoes as every woman has a pair of comfy black shoes in her wardrobe! Although if I had wanted them to wear specific shoes I would have paid for them.
Got married Sat 28/05/2011
Renewing vows Sat 29/05/2021
We're planning WELL in advance!!
CommentAuthorMickaylaH
I have since spoken to my bridesmaids and they are both happy to buy their own.
Phew
I have said they can get what they want but they both decided they would get the same :)
Xx
CommentAuthorsarah
Glad you've got it all sorted :)
CommentAuthorKatya
I asked my BM's to pay 2/3'rds of the total cost of their outfits, I would pay the other 3rd, I have 2 adult BM's, they are both willing for this. In the end... its working out that I have bought the dresses, ribbon to act as a belt for colour & alice bands. They have now agreed to buy the shoes, they both want the same shoes.
When I asked them I stipulated that I want Black dresses, Red shoes.... they agreed and love both colours anyway. I explained why I wanted the specific colours... (my colours are red, black & a tiny amount of silver, i have a bad back & dont trust anyone to do the "lifting of the bride" or similar fun photo shots, so wanted to show off really bright shoes instead, they too think this is a good compromise on the "FUN" wedding photo shots).
I may just have really awesome BM's but to be fair... the dresses were only £5.49 each, & we are looking at shoes from the £5 website, so not wanting to spend alot, but at the same time my MAIN stipulation was that whatever was chosen for my wedding must be something they would wear again so that its not just money down the drain for a few hours wear.
Find out who you are & do it on purpose!
CommentAuthorFernP61
I don't think just cos you ask them you have to pay for 'everything' plus they have totally diff tastes in shoes and have diff hair styles! The adult bm dresses are £135 each the hair for the two of them is £55 their gifts are £79 each I think that's sufficient tbh, my two flower girl dresses were £10 reach from bhs before it shut the three pairs of shoes have cost £66 I had to get my daughter another fgirl dress £65 tights £12 cardigans £60 their gifts £60 x
CommentAuthornadia13
We bought my bridesmaid dress & shoes!! They sorted their own hair out!! When I was bridesmaid matter of weeks after I got my own dress & shoes (happy to) the bride & groom were on a much tighter budget than what we were, we saved for years while theirs were a rush job really"!!!
CommentAuthorChristinaB38
i'm also wondering about getting my 2 adult bridesmaids to buy their own shoes as i'll be buying their dresses (£200 each) hair and make up but not entirely sure how to approach the subject?
CommentAuthorRennie1989
edited
I also asked mine to buy theirs. We paid for the material of the dresses and hair comb but not the shoes. At least they had more say on their footwear and if they wanted something more expensive then they could. I had a general say in the look but that was it. I bought my shoes when I was BM. I also asked them to pay for their hair.
CommentAuthorMickaylaH
Christinab38 I spoke to both my bridesmaids together and just explained that due to the cost of everything and the fact that all men involved had to ge their own shoes I wasn't going to be able to get them shoes and asked of they would mind getting their own and explained that I would pay for everything else
