Wedding Forum - Bridesmaid questions.......

i have 2 adult bms/ one is moh
1 junior bm
and my flower girl

my adult bms one is my older cosuin whos is my Matron of honor as shes my fav and always been good to me
my other is a really good friend even tho i only known her fo about 2 years, met her at antenatal and our daughter were born days apart and has been really good to me and love her to bits
my junior bm is my little cousin once removed my MOH's daugter who will be 9? by the time
and then my lil girl as flower girl

no idea wether there will be even numbers ? dn't really care if her only wants his BM tbh
and we are planning on officialy asking although i have kinda asked my cousin already 1 year before with a extra card in the official invite

We have 2 bridesmaids - my two best friends and I asked them 10 minutes after I got engaged! I do wish I'd waited and made more of a fuss but it hasn't changed anything!
2 flowergirls and I asked their mums a few months later and the girls last month (as they now understand what it means!)
OH has his brother as best man and his two best friends as ushers (who, very conveniently, are the boyfriend/fiancé of my bridesmaids! Haha)

My best friend is getting married about the same time as me and she sent out lovely boxes with the words 'will you be my bridesmaid' on bits of card so when you open it it read the sentence! Best bit, mine said maid of honour! Hehe. That was so lovely and made me feel awful as I made no fuss asking her haha

Xxxx

I didn't really ask I told them I wanted them as bm's and they didn't say no so took that as a good sign lol, I've got 6 older bm's 4 of my sister's and 2 of my best friends, and I've got 4 younger bm's our daughter my 2 best friends daughter's and another friends daughter, I then have 2 paige boys my 2 best friends sons and our lil boy is ring bearer then my h2b has his best friend as best man but doesn't want any ushers xx

I really panicked about this at first as I just could not choose, was worried about what people would think and if we would match and eventually we both decided who cares we will have who we want!!
I'm having 6 adult BM, my 5 best friends who have done so much for me over the years there really was no choosing between them lol, and OH sister.
OH is just having 3 groomsmen, his best mate, my best male friend (lol so basically another one for me but they r friends too!) and my brother.
But with the 2 dads in suits it won't look too mismatched in photos- that was the only thing that worried me really in the end!
My half sister and a couple of really good friends I have asked to do readings and/or be witnessing so they r involved and noone missed out!

My MOH I made a little keyring with a photo of us and her name and "maid of honour" written on it and she said she loved being asked like that. The others I asked all together at our engagement party!
My only advice really is perhaps wait a while, have u booked ur venue? Maybe wait until then, as unfortunately friendships do change and I've seen a lot of posts on these forums of BMs letting people down and the worst thing would be to have to 'demote' someone! Xx

I've got 3 adult bms an one 2 yr old fg... Then we have 4 groomsmen... I didn't get presents or cards or anything... My moh is my sister so I didn't really need to ask her as it was a given that she would take that role, then there's h2bs sis and my cousin Charlotte...
His groomsmen, basically he couldn't decide on one best man so best man duties are being divided up between all four (gonna be interesting) h2b has been driving me mad with this lol...

I got engaged 5 years ago and asked my bridesmaids that year with the intention of getting married within 2 years. I asked 2 of my closest friends and my future SIL. 5 years later i no longer speak to one of the bridesmaids so she isn't one anymore, and I have acquired 3 after getting back in touch with 3 very good childhood friends! So I now have 5 (one of them being MOH) plus a flowergirl. I just asked them all face to face but wish I'd made it a bit more special now!

I'm having 2 adult BM's (my step-sister and my SiL2b) and my other half is having his best man (his brother), 2 ushers (my 2 brothers) and our son will be the page boy. So there's more boy than girls. I did have another "friend" as BM but we no longer speak. We're not having any other children in the wedding as there's 6 nieces and nephews between us so far so to keep it fair we're not having any of them. We just asked them straight out. My OH had a bit of bother trying to convince his brother to wear a kilt but he agreed in the end :). Just have who you's want to be in the wedding parties. You're bound to annoy someone with it , so you might as well have the way you want. Happy planning :) x

Hey,

I am having my sis as maid of honour and my 3 closest girls as my bridesmaids and OH is having his bro as best man and 3 best mates as ushers (although the equal numbers were an accident!)...but I am also having my sisters partner (who is doing a reading) and my best male friend wearing the tails and buttonholes cos I wanted them to be a part of the wedding...

My sister knew she was maid of honour straight away, there was never any question about it...my maids I asked a few weeks later and wrote it all out in a card and gave it to them at mine with cupcakes! h2b text his ushers and yelled it to one of them from another room! typical man!

I don't think you have to worry about having equal numbers, and as for asking you should make sure you are completely sure that you want them to do it cos its so easy to ask but a LOT easier to undo and i see a LOT of bridesmaid sackings on the forum! i did it sooner rather than later cos we are going travelling for a year so need to be organised, also when I went to wedding fairs people kept asking before I officially told them which was awkward!! :)

I'm not having any ushers, just the best man. We have three adult bms, two of whom are h2bs nieces and daughters of our best man.

My moh is my best friend of fifteen years.

H2b had promised his nieces since they were tiny that they could be bms if he ever got married, so they were kinda pre-picked, although I would have asked them anyway.

And my moh was always a done deal too, really...it was pretty much 'yay, you're going to be maid of honour!'

I would counsel against asking too early though, unless you are 100 percent sure...there have been lots of threads on here about people asking others to be bridesmaid and then there relationship changed and they drifted apart.

Be realistic in your expectations - if your closest friend is the worlds most scatty person, it is unlikely she will turn into a super-organised, reliable person when it comes to your wedding! Which is fine, it's just some brides can be quite disappointed and feel let down by their bridesmaids.

. Personally, I wanted the people closest to me in the wedding party regardless of whether they would be able to take time off to go bride dress shopping, spend hours agonising over colour schemes or menu choices or fully organise a hen do. That said, they are always interested in the plans and remember to ask about it.

Xx

All down to personal choice but i will answer your questions in the best way i can....

- Do you need to have the same number of bridesmaids as you do ushers?

no you dont. can have who you want. I had 3 bridesmaids and 2 ushers!
- How did you choose your bridesmaids?

straight off knew my best mate was going to be my maid of honour and that i wanted my 3 year old niece (OHs niece) to be my flower girl. and then decided to ask her mom (my now SIL) to be bridesmaid.

- How did you ask them? (eg - just asked them upfront, made them a card, made them a little gift)

I didnt ask my MOH, when she finally saw the ring and clicked what was going on i said you do know goes without saying your my MOH dont you? as for my BM and FG i literally just whatsapped them!!! I said id be honoured if you and FG would be my FG and BM for our special day. luckily she agreed, accepted and was honoured to be asked!
On the day of the wedding i got them necklaces & the FG bracelet as thank you gifts but nothing beforehand.

- When is the best time to ask them?
Completely up to you! like i said as soon as my best mate saw the ring she was MOH as for BM & FG we had a good 9 months before we could wedding plan due to family circumstances - no not baby - so wasnt until we started planning that we officially asked. I dropped in convo occasionally about niece being FG but nothing concrete.

The fact you have couple of years to go, as others have said theres no rush or worry over asking people yet, alot can change over 6 months let alone a year or two so make sure you know exactly who YOU want not people who expect or assume, definitely people YOU and your OH want!!!

X

We had equal numbers if you include the flower girl but it wasn't planned that way, there is no rules about equal numbers.

I asked my best mate on the phone 45 minutes after getting engaged because she conveniently rang me and I had to tell her hubby had proposed. I never asked my sister to be CBM as we both knew we'd do it for each other and i was hers 2 years ago so she as expected assumed the position. I never did cards or presents but occasionally treated them to chocolates, afternoon tea and lunch.

We have 3 ushers and 3 adult bridesmaids, but it wasnt planned. Two of.my bms are my sisters so didnt really need to ask! The third is a very good criend who was always on hand to chat weddings and anything else for that matter. I thought long amd hard before asking and did it over tea and cake, she was thrilled. The ushers are the oh best mates and he just asked them in coversation when he spoke to them.