Hey all, im not getting married till 2012 but already getting stressed out. It's all about bridesmaids. I've never had a dream wedding in my head but when me and h2b decided to get married i knew i didnt want too many bridesmaids, all i did want was my daughter but then my sister in law2b decided to get married and wanted me to be chief bridesmaid so know i have to have her back which i dont mind but now my sister and best mate is playing up and moaning im not having them. My best friend isnt very reliable and i never see her that much anymore then there is my sister and she is always falling out with me if she doesnt get her own way and i cant be doing with that stress. My best mate has hardly spoken to me since telling her i didnt want her to be bridesmaid but i said she could still be there throughout the day. Do any of you think im harsh?
CommentAuthorMrs Joyce
no not at all, im only having my sister as bridesmaid and my daughter as flower girl, i have huffed my sister in law as i was her bridesmaid and obv not returning the favour also shes annoyed as im not having her kids involved but im having my day my way :D
CommentAuthormrs pinkalice
I had a similar situation. When I got engaged knew straight away i'd have my sister as CBM/MOH and my best friend as she's the only person from school i stay in contact with regular. To celebrate our engagement we all went out with some other friends, 2 of who were my best friends but we have drifted apart a lot since school. So anyway, the 2 of them literally pounced on me asking me if they could be bridesmaids, it really put me on the spot and I felt obliged to say yes. To save a lot of hassle, I thought I may as well just have them all, if they are prepared to contribute to the cost of their outfits. My sister and my best mate are fine with this. The other 2 got in a right state about it and haven't spoke to me since! Makes me wish I hadn't bothered agreeing in the first place! Im not looking at bridesmaid stuff for at least a year so I'm just gona wait and see who makes the effort to stay in touch. I've got too much other stuff to think about at the moment than worry about them. Sorry that was a super long post! xx
CommentAuthormrs pinkalice
ps. i don't think your being harsh!
CommentAuthorCeCe
Layla - hun, look you do NOT have to have anybody. You certainly do not have to make someone a BM because they asked you..and if folk moan and groan then let them..lol..being a BM SUPPOSED to be an honour and it is most definatly not a RIGHT.
You need to toughen up and THINK..you have time on your side to think things through.
Hey kinda glad im not on my own. im not big on weddings and my bloke has been trying to get me to agree to get married for 3 years now but ive kept saying no, not cause i dont love him but because i wanted my daughter to be old enough to remember plus im not big on stress and dont deal with it good and i have always said weddings are too stressfull but now ive buckled down i dont want to get stressed and really worried about getting stressed. Would love to go abroad with my daughter and h2b and get married but h2b wants big white wedding due to his huge family eeekk. I suppose if my friend is as true as she makes out to be then she will understand and as for my sister she's just a drama queen lol. xx
CommentAuthorlayla24
I think your right CeCe i do need to toughen up lol im way too soft. Sister in law 2 b was hubby2b's idea i dont mind her being included as have know him and his family for 18 years plus she isnt a moaner and has been there for me through bad times. i just want my daughter to be included and i hope people understand. If not then they have to get used to it lol. xx
CommentAuthormrs pinkalice
i'm too soft as well too worried about upsetting people, i spose thats better than being mean lol
CommentAuthorCeCe
...tell the 'Drama Queen' that they do not have a place in the wedding party, so she will need to buck the hell up if she wants to be given a 'job' int he wedding party...your BF should understand BUT...YOU have to give the jobs to whom your HEART tells yout oo NOT whom you feel obligated to give it too.
IF folk do continue to kick up a fuss ater you choose your bridal party..let them know they will have to pay for their frocks etc that YOU will be choosing....see how they react to that?!
Start as you mean to go on. Stay positive and strong...this is YOUR wedding and just because you have a HUGE potential guest list does not mean you HAVE to invite everybody!
CommentAuthorRebecca
no i don't think you're being harsh at all. it's your big day so you can decide on what you have. you can have as many or as little bridesmaids as you like it's up to you! that's what i love about planning my wedding, it's all been choices that neil and i have made based on what we like and want rather that what others dictate or want. so stick to your guns! and be prepared for lots of stress! i know i am! lol one of my bridesmaids is unreliable (she hasn't met the others yet and isn't coming to the hen do) and my MOH lives down south an hour away from london and i live an hour away from manchester and i very rarely see her. and she's organised the hen do in LONDON so it's closer to her! lol just remember deep breaths and keep smiling! xx
CommentAuthorbridetobe1990
i have a problem. last year i was bridesmaid for my friend jackie and her sister was her MOH but with aload of trouble and kick offs between and her in-laws none of her family turned up so i took place as cheif bridesmaid. i have asked her to be my bridesmaid but asked my other friend caitlin to be my MOH as she is always close by and very helpful with everything (jackie can be very unreliable plus jackie has just had a lil girl and i dont want to bother her too much) but now jackie is kicking off because i was her MOH and signed her papers and she thinks it is her turn to sign mine. she has bitched to my family about it stating how unfair it is as she has known me longer. she is gettin to be a bit of a pain tbh and i really want every1 to be happy. i have one solution neither of them will sign the form .... my sister will lol
CommentAuthorlayla24
Bless i really feel for you. I think i have given up on trying to keep everyone happy. What CeCe saiid last night about toughening up really got me thinking. Its mine and H2b day and it our choices so if people dont like it they dont have to come and if they are true friends and family then they will be there. I dont want to have stress thats not needed so am toughening up now rather than later lol. :) Congrats on all your fourth coming weddings. xxx
CommentAuthorNuttytart
Bridesmaids are the bain of my life, stressing me out at the minute. I've been a bridesmaid for someone but feel like i have to ask them back, which I dont mind, but because I'm getting married abroad its difficult because not everyone wants to come abroad. There are some people that I'm still waiting to give me an answer, which is doing my head in. I don't mind if they can't just want an answer. I also don't want to pay out for expensive dresses etc, then they dont come.
CommentAuthorMrs Daltry
all hell broke loose in my house over my choice of bridesmaids all because my sister couldnt get her own way and things got really bad,,,,but i never for one minute backed down,,how dare people presume that they can just step in and take the role..its your choice not theirs,,make your feelings very clear and make sure you let them know whos day it is!!!
CommentAuthorxAbix
No your not being harsh at al its your wedding and they should understand that!!!
CommentAuthorCeCe
Lets face it IF your own daughter cannot be a BM then there really is a bloo dy problemo!!
CommentAuthorohfiddles
My sister also presumed she was gonna be a bridesmaid. i only wanted 1 and my daughter as my flower girl. my niece has never been a bridesmaid and was made up when i asked her(before i knew my sister had put herself in the role). She had a proper strop because she had already been and bought a dress, which she hadnt even cleared with me!!! i basically told her there is nearly 2 years to go its your own silly fault to get ahead of yourself xxx
CommentAuthorSuzi
Do it your way hun and don't feel bad about it!
Do not disturb... Already disturbed enough!
CommentAuthorLou lou
do whats going to make u happy n not others- i posted a rant about 2 weeks ago with a similar situation n ive managed to stick to my guns about it, its been hard as its good to lead an easy life but i also dont regret sticking to my guns. do what u want hun xx
CommentAuthorlayla24
Has had a great day today and less stressful Thank you all for your advice. xx
CommentAuthorcymrugal
i agree its your day and your decision , at the end of the day you have to go with your heart, ignore the pressure, and stamp those feet girl!!
CommentAuthorsassysas1984
ive had a few, one was my cheif bridesmaid wanted me to order a size 12 and she was a size 16, she has done really well and been dieting but i think she was a little bit jumping in with two feet, she is now down to a size 14 but dress still doesn't fit as she is really busty, zip goes up most of the way but not over her bust, her mum is a dress maker so she is going to add bit of fabric into it so it fits so i was lucky with that, one of my bridesmaids didn't turn up to either of my hen nights. also when i was choosing my bridesmaids my 3 cousins automatically thought i would have them but i wanted to have my best friend and didn't really want to have 4 bridesmaids so i chose my best friend and another 2 close friends. Its your big day and although probably everyone wants to be special on your big day they cant all be bridesmaids, if they cant understand why you haven't chosen them then they aren't much of a friend. xx
CommentAuthorKizzy81
I think it depends on why you don't want them as bridesmaids - if it's that you simply don't want them, then you need to tell them to back off. If it's simply a money thing, which for most people I think it is, then why not just say that to them and suggest that if they want to bridesmaid, and you'd love them to be, they'll need to pay for their own dresses etc.
I think we've all had BM issues though, so it's nothing unusual. I had to ask my sister as I was BM at hers and instead of being chuffed etc, she just said "I wondered when you were going to ask...". Cheeky mare!
