Right here is where it all went wrong

I got engaged 13 March 2010 and I stupidly asked friends to be bridesmaids then (while drunk out celebrating the engagement), rather than waiting a bit.

2/3 of my bridesmaids are fine, my friend Sarah and my friend Martin (yes a man, lol) plus we have a recent a addition who wants to be a bridesmaid and will be buying her own dress my mate Carla, all fine.

The we have another friend we will call T so I don't mention the poor lass's name, we had been friends since 2004 and I wanted her to be my bridesmaid, but I have only seen her maybe a handful of times since asking her and she is due to have her 3rd child now only 4 months before the wedding.

I do still sort of want her to be a bridesmaid as we were close before, but I am really unsure how we can size a dress correctly (I am buying them from an online seller so they can run out of certain sizes and you never know when they will get more in so you need a bit more time in advance) and more to the point I have a friend who I was not so close to back then who I am pretty much best friends with now plus another close friend who I see a lot and she made me both her children (who were born since I got engaged) godmother and both lasses want to be bridesmaids and I have had to say no to them as I already have too many, they still are trying to change my mind aaahhhh

Really I would prefer just to have Sarah, Martin and Carla as it is only a registry office wedding, but do I renegade on my request to T to be a bridesmaid especially as I still want her at the wedding and don't want to hurt her feelings

I really regret getting carried away when I first got engaged, I really should of waited until nearer the date, aaahhhh

Maybe just tell her your concerns about the dress and ask her if she would be ok doing a reading and being a witness instead? Then she is still a part of the wedding xxx

I don't think that thinking it'll be hard to get her fitted for a dress is a good reason to replace her with someone else. Maternity clothes come in regular dress sizes just with extra fabric & length for the bump. She should know what size to pick for non-maternity dresses just ask her. If the dress is fitted then get a size up to be sure.
I think your bigger issue is the people that ask to be included in your wedding. I think they're being cheeky and that it's perfectly ok to tell them no.

I did exactly the same thing as you when I first got engaged and ended up 'sacking' two of the girls I had originally asked, one of them took it very well and said she didn't mind at all. The other didn't speak to me for a month :/, I approched them both the same way ad told them we didn't want that many bridesmaids and I had gotten too over excited. x

what about asking T to do a reading .... this singles her out as really special instead of being another bridesmaid

If it's her 3rd child she should have good idea of how much weight she puts on/how long it takes her to lose it. Young bridesmaids don't really do anything except wear pretty dresses so couldn't you give them the title and include them in a photo without it really affecting the size of your party? I doubt when they're that young they'd notice not walking down the aisle if you don't want them to. Saying that, I really don't agree with people inviting themselves into roles so it's up to you whether you want them x

I had the same problem. Started off with 4, and am now at 3 and a flower girl. Asked a friend who I ended up drifting apart from. I phoned her up and just told her I'd gotten carried away and couldn't really afford to have 4 bridesmaids (which I couldn't) and she really understood and was fine. Hope this helps.

I think your post may have caused some confusion. so just hoping you can clarify: are the 'two lasses' you refer to your goddaughters (which is what most people responding think) or the friend who made you godmother, plus this other new friend? I took it to be the latter (two adults); but I might be wrong. But clarification would help as I think that could affect people's responses.

Anyway, I personally think you should forget about having the additional two, as you seem happy with Sarah, Mike and Clara, and I think 5-6 is a bit much unless you are having a very large wedding (though admittedly I'm having 5, and we're only having 50 guests lol; however, the 4 adults are my 4 best friends who I'm equally close to, so it was literally all or none; and the other BM is my OHs little cousin, and he means a lot to his family to have her included); I also think it's a bit off for them to pester you.

Whether or not you should still include T is more complicated: on the one hand, if you've drifted apart, and she's going to have a 4 month old baby on the day, then she may be relieved if you gently suggest she steps down; equally, she could be very upset and offended. Only you can know which is likely; and if you think she'd be upset, you need to ask yourself if you are prepared to risk damaging your friendship, possibly permanently. As far as the dress goes, as a PP said, she should have a good idea by now of what kind of weight she's likely to be post-partum; and if your budget is tight, you can always ask that if any alterations are needed, she pay. So for me, the dress wouldn't be the issue here.

I did the same thing honey! i wanted 4 bmaids, with my sister as a witness but then mum had a moan so now have 6 including my sister and my sister in law - again with the latter not knowing about what size she willl be and i am wanting to order the dresses sooner rather than later to tie in with budget etc..
if she is a close friend then talk to her, as the others said offering to do a reading or something woud be nice? i have asked one of my best friends who isnt a bridesmaid to do reading and she is almost more honoured!
xxxxxxxxhope it works out xxxxxxxxxx

i had pretty much the same issue. asked people at the time who were right for the job and as time went along one of my bridesmaids announced she was trying for another baby, lovley and really chuffed for them. when i seen the dresses that i wanted in the shop with nearly 70% off i jumped at the chance to buy them and thats when it started to go wrong because she didint know what size she would be etc and i just bought a bigger size with the intention of getting it taken in or adding pannels to widen it. as time went on i didnt really see her that much and i took the decision to not have her as a bridesmaid which was really hard but she hasnt forgiven me and we no longer see each other. i have asked another girl who i have become good friends with over the past couple of years and everything is on track again. i think its your day and you should have only those there that are part of your life at this time.xx