Looking for a bit of an opinion on who to ask to be my bridesmaids. I'm thinking of having 2, we are only having a small number of people to the wedding so don't want to end up with all my guests being in the bridal party! I know for certain 1 of them, she's a friend that I talk to and see regularly, and she's already very excited about everything wedding related for me. I've know her about 10 years or so, but feels like a lot longer.
The other friend I had in mind is one of my oldest friends, who I met when I was 8/9. We aren't as close as we used to be, and definitely don't see each other as much as we used to. She's self employed and understandably very busy because of this. I've talked to her via facebook about wedding related stuff and she just seems very uninterested. I'm worried that if I choose her to be a BM she won't be able to join me in the usual bride and bridesmaid activities, like dress shopping etc, and maybe feel a bit of a spare part on the day. But I'm also concerned that if I don't choose her she'll be very upset with me because I've chosen someone else over her.
I don't have a massive group of close girl friends, I pretty much know all my friends singularly and most of which haven't even met each other. Really don't know what to do. Tempted to pick my brother and have him as a Man of Honour, but then it might look like he's the groom in the photos! (when we've been out for meals, waitresses etc have assumed we are on a date... so wrong)
Any thoughts?? How did you come to the decision on your BMs?
PLEASE HECK YOUR CATERGORY BEFORE POSTING - MODS
Met in 2005
Started dating August 2014 (yes it took us that long)
Engaged April 2016
CommentAuthorEmily17
I would either just go with your one BM or have your brother. There is no reason why he would look like the groo. You can have your groom in a different tie / suit to the other groomsmen so he stands out.
I wouldn't have your other friend as you need BMs to support and help you and not to just be there to walk down the aisle.
xx
Met in 2009
He proposed Jan 2014
Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
CommentAuthorFayeH
I think your gut instinct will tell you - from what you've listed you sound reluctant to have the second friend as a bridesmaid. If they haven't shown much interest and you don't see each other I can't imagine that they'll feel like they're entitled to be a BM.
I don't think there's anything wrong with having a man of honour - I am! My best friend is male. If you want it to be extra clear who your groom is, you could always put the groom in a slightly different outfit to the other men there on the day, or have your groom and the ushers/best man matching and put your brother in a different coloured suit and a tie to match the bridesmaid's dress.
I'm having my best friend as mentioned above, my OH's sister and sister in law (both of whom i get on really well with) and I'm considering asking a new friend to be one too but I'm not sure - we've haven't known each other long (about 9 months) but she was really supportive regarding mine and Will's relationship and engagement and has been really enthusiastic about the wedding. I'm going to have a couple of weeks to sleep on it and see how I feel - I think i'll know what to do when I've had some time to think.
CommentAuthorLouiseyweesey
Follow your heart my lovely :-) I picked a friend that I wasn't as close to as I used to be because I was worried she'd be upset (she was hinting like mad that she wanted me to ask her) and gave her the benefit of the doubt. Unfortunately she never really was willing to fully commit and a few weeks ago we decided mutually that it's best if she comes as a guest. I don't think your friend would be upset, infact with her busy lifestyle she might thank you as it's not putting her under pressure if she can never do stuff with you. And as a true friend she would understand and not expect to be picked anyway :-) xxxx
CommentAuthorDuostar
Thanks ladies. Really good advice. I wasn't going to ask until a venue is booked and we have a definite date anyway but I had been thinking about it lately. I will see how I feel at the time as well. But I think you're both right, my oldest friend could be a no go. Hopefully she won't get offended!
Met in 2005
Started dating August 2014 (yes it took us that long)
Engaged April 2016
I think you already know the answer to your question. I would choose your good friend to be bridesmaid and have your brother as maybe an usher if not the man of honour. If you really felt the need to include your oldest friend you could ask her to do a reading. X
