My best friend has been really difficult to see for a few months. She's got a lot of friends and of late she hasn't had time to see me.. I tried for weeks to give her her birthday present but she was always too busy. She moved house last week with her housemate which has taken over for a while- understandable.
All the bridesmaids dresses I showed her pictures of she didn't like. When I asked her about the hen do she said she hadn't had time to think about it.. So I gave up.
I've planned it all on my own so far.. Even got my dress on my own.
I then got an email from her saying that she doesn't feel I've been there for her and she can't fulfil her bridesmaid duties.
I haven't heard from her in 3 weeks.
What do I do now? She's still invited but I don't want her there anymore :-( I don't know how to tell her
Xx
CommentAuthorLauraK7
Oh no what an awful situation to be in sorry to hear this and totally understand how you feel but not sure what you'd say to her but I know id feel exactly the same Hopefully some of the other ladies will be able to offer some better advice xxx
CommentAuthorElinor Claire
Maybe you could ask her first if she's absolutely sure that she doesn't want to do it. Make clear that you have tried to see her but she has been too busy. It may be that she realises she's being silly and would welcome the chance to do a u-turn. If she still says no then you can respond and say that you don't feel that it's appropriate for her to attend.
30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.
CommentAuthorLaurajanevintage
Sorry for the long story.. So hard to explain it all.. I did reply to her explaining I had tried so hard to see her.. She just replied saying that she struggles to please everyone so decided to please herself..
She keeps liking my Facebook posts but not heard from her or seen her.. So upsetting - and confusing! X
CommentAuthorWhovianbride
She says you've not been trying??? Wtf!! I had a fruend who only ever please herself and tryed for so long (2years) when In the end it hurt to much to always not be good rnough, seeing pics on fb with her other fun free single friend while not bothering with us even tho she was supposed to be my bf and my daughters "god" mum. Since I cut her out bern so much better.
Seeming as this has been over a couple of weeks sounds like she never wanted the job. Friendship =effort from both partys , did she makr any effort to see you? No effort = No friendship!
Met June 2009 on my Birthday,Met again July 2009 and got
together, May 2010 Moved in,Jan 2011 got pregnant,
August 2011 Got our own place, 2011 Had our Baby Girl,
Dec 2011 Got engaged, July 2015 Getting married! Yay!
Hate to say it but I agree with Lana in the fact that she really hasn't been a good friend to you. Just say it outright that you feel like your friendship has ended and you no longer want her there :S
Met in 2009
Got together on12th May 2011, proposed on the 12th May 2013
When you get knocked down; smile and pick yourself up again!
Fight for what you believe in!
CommentAuthorLaurajanevintage
Thank you for your advice... I'm scared! But I know it needs to be done xxx
CommentAuthorOfficially Mrs M
you have to just have the conversation with her hun. I had the same thing and I just said to her it isn't working I need someone who is there for me and she isn't so I think it would be best for her not to come at all.
If its the end of the friendship then unfortunately so be it, maybe just invite her to the evening but if you really cannot stand to have her there then just tell her.
I have just started talking to my BM who felt she couldn't come to our wedding and its not the same friendship but we have started to repair the damage
8th September 2012 I married my best friend
1st September 2014 our little family grew by one
Women are made to be loved, not understood. - Oscar Wilde
CommentAuthorMelanieH10
I had a friend like this I had know from when I was five. A few years ago she alienated herself from our group of friends as they couldn't stand her selfishness and one sided friendship, she was all take and no give. One of the girls didn't invite her out for her birthday dinner, well the poo definitely hit the fan and it was aimed at me as I went, it was apparently all my fault. the final straw was when she told me my parents would be ashamed of me (both had passed on by the time I was 20). At the time I was devastated, but my life improved so much without her negativity and controlling ways, I finally started making my own decisions and enjoyed time with people who actually cared about me and my feelings.
Its a hard thing to do cutting someone out of your life, but sometimes for your own sanity you need to. Its sounds to me like your friend is like mine, all take no give, that's not a friendship hun. xx
Getting married Sunday 1st May 2016 :)
CommentAuthorKirstyW49
I totally agree with melanie..thats all i need to to say. good luck hun xx
CommentAuthorBethanyS
I had the same situation and unfortunately, like Melanie, I eventually cut them out of my life as it was driving me crazy feeling that I was doing all the work and was getting nothing out of the friendship. My 'friend' wasn't interested in doing any wedding planning with me and my other bridesmaids so I just cut all ties. I didn't even need to tell her that she wasn't being a bridesmaid anymore, she just took it on herself not to be. Sometimes as hard and as horrible as it may be, its best to let go. x
