Having a really sad time and need some advice...

My best friend has been really difficult to see for a few months. She's got a lot of friends and of late she hasn't had time to see me.. I tried for weeks to give her her birthday present but she was always too busy.
She moved house last week with her housemate which has taken over for a while- understandable.

All the bridesmaids dresses I showed her pictures of she didn't like. When I asked her about the hen do she said she hadn't had time to think about it.. So I gave up.

I've planned it all on my own so far.. Even got my dress on my own.

I then got an email from her saying that she doesn't feel I've been there for her and she can't fulfil her bridesmaid duties.

I haven't heard from her in 3 weeks.


What do I do now? She's still invited but I don't want her there anymore :-( I don't know how to tell her

Xx

Maybe you could ask her first if she's absolutely sure that she doesn't want to do it. Make clear that you have tried to see her but she has been too busy. It may be that she realises she's being silly and would welcome the chance to do a u-turn. If she still says no then you can respond and say that you don't feel that it's appropriate for her to attend.

She says you've not been trying??? Wtf!! I had a fruend who only ever please herself and tryed for so long (2years) when In the end it hurt to much to always not be good rnough, seeing pics on fb with her other fun free single friend while not bothering with us even tho she was supposed to be my bf and my daughters "god" mum. Since I cut her out bern so much better.

Seeming as this has been over a couple of weeks sounds like she never wanted the job. Friendship =effort from both partys , did she makr any effort to see you? No effort = No friendship!

Thank you for your advice... I'm scared! But I know it needs to be done xxx

I had a friend like this I had know from when I was five. A few years ago she alienated herself from our group of friends as they couldn't stand her selfishness and one sided friendship, she was all take and no give. One of the girls didn't invite her out for her birthday dinner, well the poo definitely hit the fan and it was aimed at me as I went, it was apparently all my fault. the final straw was when she told me my parents would be ashamed of me (both had passed on by the time I was 20). At the time I was devastated, but my life improved so much without her negativity and controlling ways, I finally started making my own decisions and enjoyed time with people who actually cared about me and my feelings.

Its a hard thing to do cutting someone out of your life, but sometimes for your own sanity you need to. Its sounds to me like your friend is like mine, all take no give, that's not a friendship hun. xx

I had the same situation and unfortunately, like Melanie, I eventually cut them out of my life as it was driving me crazy feeling that I was doing all the work and was getting nothing out of the friendship. My 'friend' wasn't interested in doing any wedding planning with me and my other bridesmaids so I just cut all ties. I didn't even need to tell her that she wasn't being a bridesmaid anymore, she just took it on herself not to be. Sometimes as hard and as horrible as it may be, its best to let go. x