Hey everyone i need advice/help.. Its hard to word it and i hope it makes sense..
This weekend me and my H2B sat down and looked at our wedding party's and my H2B has 4 groomsmen, 1 BM and 3 Ushers. My problem is i have 5 bridesmaids. He doesn't want anyone else as ushers.
I was hoping we would have 5 each.. What do i do.. One of the only reasons i asked one of girls to be my BM is because her fiance is our best man :(. I'm stuck on what to do..
Please don't judge. I feel so bad i just don't know what to do.
Help please xx
Found the man of my dreams
Getting Married on the 13th June 2015
CommentAuthorBev
Can't really help much but I don't think it really matters if you don't have the same amount of bridesmaids as best men/ushers, Hun.
CommentAuthorStephHsoon2bBodkin
Wouldn't it look strange. 4 groomsmen 5 ushers x
Found the man of my dreams
Getting Married on the 13th June 2015
CommentAuthoralmost a year wife!!
Aren't groomsmen ushers anyway?
That's gonna be £££££££££'ve!
It doesn't really matter my h2b has 4 groomsmen and I've got 3 bridesmaids... To have everyone matching etc is more american I think x
Ill marry my hero
CommentAuthorStephHsoon2bBodkin
Yea i know what your saying. x
Found the man of my dreams
Getting Married on the 13th June 2015
That concept is very American (ie the groomsmen). I wouldn't think there's a set rule that there must be the same number of attendants on the groom side as the bride side, I can't imagine it being problem. The only problem I can think of is paying to buy/rent suits and dresses (along with accessories, hair, makeup, shoes etc) unless you're getting them to pay for it.
CommentAuthorStephHsoon2bBodkin
I'm paying for everything bar the shoes.. I'm shopping around for the dresses, My OH is going to rent the suits. In my head i cant see 5 BM and 4 GM looking right. But that's in my head xx
Found the man of my dreams
Getting Married on the 13th June 2015
CommentAuthorCh4lky
I've got 3 bms 1 page boy and H2B doesn't want any ushers at all! I don't see you having a problem there :) x
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CommentAuthorStephHsoon2bBodkin
Why is it etched in my head. Ive been worried about explaining to her and how to explain it to her.. Maybe i have been watching to many american tv programmed lol xx
Found the man of my dreams
Getting Married on the 13th June 2015
CommentAuthormillz090
I had 1 BM and 3 ushers and 3 bridesmaids and it looked fine.... no one will even notice so i wouldn't worry about it and ours looked perfect!
Finally marrying the love of my life !!
10th August 2013 - 9 years to the day we met !
CommentAuthoralmost a year wife!!
Yeah u really don't need them to match... In English weddings the whole bridal party is seated with the congregation and in america they are stood either side of the bride and groom on the altar - assuming your having a church wedding that is x
Ill marry my hero
CommentAuthorStephHsoon2bBodkin
having a cathedral wedding and they need to be stood to the right side in front of some seat ( i cant remember what our canon said). I just dont want her to be left out. OR her fiance complain that shes left out :( i must be the worst bride ever lol x
Found the man of my dreams
Getting Married on the 13th June 2015
CommentAuthor*The NewMrsMalin*
Don't worry about it and I'm sure you're lovely; what will be will be as they say :P
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CommentAuthorStephHsoon2bBodkin
Thanks :) i just feel stressed about that one little detail x
Found the man of my dreams
Getting Married on the 13th June 2015
CommentAuthorLittleMissWorry
I really think you're over analysing this and worrying about nothing! I have 3 and H2B has 1 and I've not given it a second thought!
Though since us telling you not to worry probably won't really help:
If they're all stood together, could you have the men stood in a line behind the women. But not with the men each directly behind a woman, but behind and inbetween two of then, so sort of alternating? It'll even look symmetrical that way.
CommentAuthorPrincess2be
I agree with everyone hun, it really dosn't matter. xx
CommentAuthorStephHsoon2bBodkin
Yea that sounds good. what about when walking down the isle.. do they not walk with the GM or am i referring to an american programe xx
Found the man of my dreams
Getting Married on the 13th June 2015
CommentAuthorMel D
Don't fret, it'll be fine. We had a different number - 3 bridesmaids, the Best Man and 3 ushers, and pur pics looked great!
What are you worried about explaining to whom?
Got married Sat 28/05/2011
Renewing vows Sat 29/05/2021
We're planning WELL in advance!!
CommentAuthorNataleeM
i dont think you need to worry hun, we have 2 bridesmaids 2 page boys, 1 Best man and 3 ushers! we just choose who we want in our bridal party we dont think about numbers or matching x
Can not wait until I marry the man of my DREAMS
CommentAuthorStephHsoon2bBodkin
i thought you had to had the same amount of brides to groomsmen, the weddings that i have gone to have always had the same amount. I was worried about having to say she cannot be a bridemaids as her OH would kick up stink. I like the idea of symatry buy placing the bridesmaids in front of the GM as they are all 6ft. x
Found the man of my dreams
Getting Married on the 13th June 2015
CommentAuthorMel D
edited
I'm sure her fiance wouldn't kick up a stink if she wasn't a bridesmaid ... Dan has been Best Man and I've not been a bridesmaid before. Also I didn't ask our Best Man's wife to be a bridesmaid. I've not been to many weddings where the partners of the bridal party are also in the bridal party. For instance, my sister was bridesmaid for me and her husband wasn't a groomsman or usher.
Also I've been to only one wedding where there were the same number of groomsmen/ushers as bridesmaids, and that was only coincidence as there would have been one more bridemaid but it was an overseas wedding and the third girl couldn't afford it.
Got married Sat 28/05/2011
Renewing vows Sat 29/05/2021
We're planning WELL in advance!!
CommentAuthorStephHsoon2bBodkin
Is it bad i felt obligated to ask as he kept mentioning it. Im a massive push over x
Found the man of my dreams
Getting Married on the 13th June 2015
CommentAuthorBeckyU98
i wouldnt worry about it. i dont think it matters if you have un-even numbers. as long as you can afford it then just do whatever you want. i think it normallly ends up as a coincidence that the numbers match x
CommentAuthorStephHsoon2bBodkin
Yea, if i can afford 5 BM then i will if not then 4 it will have to be anyway. Ill set a budget i think will dresses and accessories :) x
Found the man of my dreams
Getting Married on the 13th June 2015
CommentAuthorBeckyU98
if your not sure on how many you want just dont ask anyone that you might later regret. theres so many posts on here about sacking BM's etc. make your mind up before you ask i think. its good that your thinking of it in advance instead of getting carried away - friend of mine asked about 8 people to be BM's then few weeks later she ignored them all and only had her sister and cousin! X
CommentAuthorStephHsoon2bBodkin
I've made 100% on 4 of them but not the 5th.. x
Found the man of my dreams
Getting Married on the 13th June 2015
CommentAuthorsarah
I agree with Becky and just want to add you might want to wait a couple more months before officially asking anyone. It'll be easier to gauge their genuine interest in the wedding after times past.
CommentAuthorLittleMissWorry
I'm not sure if cathedral weddings are different to church weddings? The only religious weddings I've been to have been in a church. But as far as I'm aware the groomsmen don't normally walk down the aisle in English weddings.
- The bestman will be at the front with your H2B. - The ushers will be handing out order of services and generally making themselves useful until maybe 5 mins before the service starts, then they'll go and sit with everyone else. - The bridesmaids walk down the aisle behind you, then sit on the front row. With an odd number I would think have your MOH go directly behind you by herself, then be followed by two pairs of bridesmaids. Your MOH will look after your bouquet during the service so is probably best sitting on the aisle end of the front row so she's closest to you.
I can't think of any point where you'll need to pair the bridesmaids and groomsmen up. For the photos, just have the girls next to you and the boys next to him.
CommentAuthorStephHsoon2bBodkin
Why do they follow me. Is that normal? X
Found the man of my dreams
Getting Married on the 13th June 2015
CommentAuthoralmost a year wife!!
Yes it is normal- do some research coz it seems to me you're totally americanised, not a bad thing tho! But esp if you're marrying in a cathedral I can imagine the bishop will be strict x
Ill marry my hero
CommentAuthorWhovianbride
I know what you mean, I have my MOH and a bm, a jbm and a fg, and then h2b had BM , and 3 ushers as i want it even. have you thought about having a page boy?
Met June 2009 on my Birthday,Met again July 2009 and got
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CommentAuthorStephHsoon2bBodkin
Lana2BMrsHands i haven't thought about it as im trying to avoid having children there. Myself and my Partner haven't been brought up or had much to do with children. I know that's awful its just alot of our guests don't have children and i havent thought about catering to them at all.. I haven't had much thought over the past few days. Its quite stressful. Afraid to upset anyone xx
Found the man of my dreams
Getting Married on the 13th June 2015
CommentAuthorMrsRusty2B
Steph - at the end of the day, your wedding is about you and H2B not everybody else. Sometimes in life, you need to be selfish and not worry about other people.
CommentAuthorStephHsoon2bBodkin
I know. Ive upset a few people but being quite forward with my words and how i explain. x
Found the man of my dreams
Getting Married on the 13th June 2015
